Hold on Tight (Sea Breeze #8)(15)
Author: Abbi Glines

A moan came from somewhere, but I wasn’t sure whose it was. He heard it too, and it was like ice water over the fire that he’d wrapped us inside. Before I could steady myself, I was back on the ground and Dewayne was putting the length of my living room between us. I grabbed the chair behind me and hoped I didn’t sway on my feet.

Dewayne’s eyes were wild as he breathed heavily. At least he seemed as affected as I was. Because I was affected. No, I was marked. For life. I may not have been kissed by anyone other than Dustin before this, but I knew that no one was ever going to compare to what I’d just experienced.

“We can’t. I shouldn’t have,” Dewayne said, shaking his head. Then he all but ran out of my house. I stood there and listened to his truck door close and the engine start up. I stood there long after his truck had pulled out of my driveway.

He hadn’t been able to get away from me fast enough. It wasn’t like I had asked him to kiss me. Had he expected me to push him away? Was I a bad kisser? Had that moan been mine, and he had been turned off?

God! I hated being so damn clueless at this.

“Momma? Why is the door open?” Micah’s voice asked, and I snapped out of my daze and turned to see my little boy frowning at me.

“Because I was waiting on you,” I replied, not missing a beat.

He smiled and ran over to me, and I was careful to hide my bruised arm as I hugged him.

“Did you have fun?” I asked.

He nodded but pulled back and looked up at me. “I missed you this morning. Mama T offered to make me biscuits, but I wanted to come home and eat Pop-Tarts with you. I remembered you didn’t have work today.”

Hillary had given me one Saturday off a month, and I was very thankful for that this morning. After what had just happened, leaving Dewayne at my house to watch Micah would have been hard and distracting.

“I can do better than Pop-Tarts. How about pancakes?” I asked him.

He grinned. “How about chocolate chip pancakes?”

“Sounds perfect,” I said. “Let me go change shirts and we will get to work.”

I didn’t let him see me long enough to see my arm before I slipped out of the kitchen and into my bedroom, where I put on a long-sleeve T-shirt.

DEWAYNE

She was Dustin’s. She would always be Dustin’s.

Why the f**k had I kissed her? Goddamn, I wasn’t going to be able to forget that. She’d been so damn sweet and hot all at once. Almost like she was innocent, when I knew she wasn’t. She had a kid. She wasn’t innocent, and she’d melted into my arms so easily. I had wanted to get her as close to me as f**king possible.

Then she’d moaned, and my dick had gone so hard it had almost broken the damn zipper on my jeans. Fuck, but she was a sexy moaner. If I hadn’t gotten away from her, I would have ended up f**king her on the sofa. The image of Sienna nak*d and wrapped around me sprang to mind, and I hit the steering wheel and cursed. I needed a f**king cigarette. Why did that shit have to kill you? Giving up alcohol was going to be a hell of a lot easier.

I couldn’t do this shit. She was Micah’s mom. She wasn’t someone I could f**k for fun and walk away from. And after today I wasn’t sure I could f**k her and walk away from her. Hell, not tasting her mouth again was going to kill me. No wonder my brother had knocked her up. Fuck! I wouldn’t have been able to keep my wits about me when I was between her legs either. Damn woman could make any man lose his mind.

Dustin would want Sienna happy and taken care of. He would want her to have the life she deserved. Not one with his loser older brother, who had made more f**king mistakes than the average person. Hell, I’d bruised her arm. How the f**k did someone hurt Sienna? I wasn’t drinking ever again. I was done. If that was the kind of shit I did, I wasn’t touching alcohol. Sienna and Micah were going to turn me into the damn Pope.

Micah deserved a man in his life he could look up to. I would be the uncle who doted on him and made him feel loved, but I wasn’t really much to look up to. I wasn’t that guy. I never was and never would be good enough for Sienna Roy and my nephew. She needed a man who could be with just her. Who didn’t need easy, no-strings f**ks. And Micah needed a stable uncle. One who was a good role model. One who didn’t f**king hurt his momma. Motherfucker! I wanted to beat my own ass. Sienna’s bruised arm turned my stomach. I’d done that to her. I was the worthless piece of shit I knew wasn’t worthy enough to kiss those sweet lips of hers.

Then I’d kissed her. What the hell! What kind of message did that send? Not a good one. Surely she knew I wasn’t for her. I wasn’t for anyone. I would have to talk to Sienna and apologize. She needed to understand that I couldn’t be what she needed. I wasn’t that guy. I would be there for them, I would be her friend, I would take care of them—but that was all I was good for. Nothing more.

A knock on my window startled me, and I turned to see Marcus Hardy frowning at me. I had parked in the lot of my apartment building, but I hadn’t gotten out. I opened the door and stepped out of the truck.

“What was that about?” Marcus asked.

“What?” I asked, trying to blow off whatever it was he’d seen.

Marcus cocked an eyebrow at me. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the snarling and cursing and hitting your steering wheel.”

Shit. He’d been there a while.

“Nothing,” I replied, and started walking to my apartment. I knew Marcus would follow me.

“Preston said Sienna Roy was back and she has a kid.”

Shit. Preston gossiped like a damn woman.

I nodded and pulled out my keys to unlock my apartment door.

“Kid’s Dustin’s, then?” Marcus said, walking into my apartment behind me. Marcus would have this conversation by himself until I spoke up. He wouldn’t leave. That wasn’t Marcus. He was persistent.

“Yeah. Micah’s my nephew.”

Marcus nodded and went and made himself comfortable on the couch.

“She giving you a hard time? If I remember right, you sure had a lot of interest in her back in the day. You got sent to alternative school for a month after beating the shit out of that guy who had cornered her in the hallway and was touching her while she tried to push him away. Broke the kid’s nose.”

Alternative school had sucked. It was for the thugs who screwed up so bad they took them out of the regular school and sent them to something like a boot camp. Luckily, there had been witnesses who vouched that the guy was touching Sienna inappropriately and that he’d taken two swings at me. One had actually given me a black eye, so it hadn’t all been completely my fault. He’d done alternative school with a busted nose.

“She was a kid. She needed someone to take care of her. Too damn pretty for her own good.”

Marcus let out a small laugh. “She was more than pretty, from what I remember, but she was Dustin’s. Or so you always said. Although Dustin chose to ignore her for weeks until he finally saw just how much attention she was getting.”

“Don’t,” I warned him. He knew I didn’t let anyone talk bad about my brother. Ever. He’d been a kid and he’d made some bad decisions, but he’d had a good heart. And he’d been destined to be great.

Marcus sighed. “I loved Dustin. You know that. I wasn’t talking bad about him. I’d never do that.”

“I know,” I replied. I was just being defensive because I’d almost f**ked Sienna and all I could think about was going back and tasting her again.

“Sienna letting you get to know Micah?”

I nodded. She was being more than awesome about that. Letting him stay the night at my parents’ had made my mother’s year. Momma had called to tell me everything they did and everything Micah said. She adored that kid, and she adored his mother.

Another reason I had to stay away from Sienna. I couldn’t upset my mother. My dad would likely beat my ass. And I’d let him.

“You got feelings for her?” Marcus asked me.

I looked over at him and decided that l wasn’t sure how to answer that. I had feelings for her because she was the mother of my nephew. I had feelings for her because she was a part of Dustin, part of a memory. But there was something else there. Something that had always been there and I’d always pushed away because of Dustin. Something that scared me because I needed to stop it now.

“She’s Micah’s mother. I care about her and her safety.”

Marcus nodded, and I knew he was remembering just how crazy I’d been about keeping her safe before Micah. Then the night my brother had finally made his move . . . I’d been so relieved I’d gotten trashed.

“You’re one of the best men I know. You wear your tats and piercings and those damn leather bracelets that only you could get away with. But inside you are one big teddy bear. When someone you love needs you, there is nothing you won’t do for them. When I needed you, you were always there. I’ve never questioned your heart. It’s made of f**king gold, and we all know it. We laugh at your crude jokes and snide comments because we know they mean nothing. It’s part of your shield. Underneath, I don’t know many men that compare. You’re one of the best, Dewayne. One of the best.”

If he knew my thoughts about Sienna right now, he’d change his mind.

Eight years ago . . .

SIENNA

“Hey, gorgeous. You seen Dewayne? He don’t normally get too far from you,” Preston Drake asked with a crooked smirk, his long blond hair tucked behind his ears. Most girls in school loved Preston. Not me. He was just funny. He made me smile, but he didn’t make my heart race.

“Back off, Drake,” Dewayne said as he sat down beside me on the picnic bench. He had just gotten back from alternative school and hadn’t left my side. While he’d been gone, Marcus, Rock, and Preston had watched over me so closely that not many people spoke to me. Some girls did, like Marcus’s sister, Amanda, and Rock’s girlfriend, Trisha. But everyone else seemed intrigued and scared of me. It was frustrating.

“Knew you were around here somewhere,” Preston said, amused. “I’ve got some things to handle at home. I’m out of here. Let Marcus know I won’t need a ride after school, yeah?” When he said the word “home,” his easy smile had slipped and I’d seen anger or frustration there.

Dewayne nodded. “Sure. I’ll tell him.”

“See you tonight. Rock’s place,” he said, then shoved off from the table with a wink in my direction.

They were all very close and so different. But if one of them needed another, they were all there. Marcus was the one who stuck out like a sore thumb. Unlike the other three, he came from money. His daddy owned a lot of car dealerships, but you would never guess it from looking at Marcus.

“That all you’re gonna eat?” Dewayne asked me.

It was nice to have someone to eat with me again. I had missed this. We didn’t have the same lunch, but somehow Dewayne always showed up at freshman lunch and kept me company. The past month I had sat alone. Sometimes Dustin would stop by and talk to me for a few minutes before the basketball team pulled him away to their table, but he never invited me into that world.

I was losing Dustin. It hurt. He’d been my best friend for so long, it wasn’t easy to watch him move further and further away from me. While Dewayne was gone, Dustin had almost seemed mad at me. As if it was my fault his brother had been sent to alternative school. I hadn’t asked him to beat the crap out of that guy, but I had been thankful he’d stopped him.

“I’m not very hungry,” I told him, which was a lie. My mother had decided I had gained weight lately, and she wanted to limit my food. I tried to explain it was my boobs, but she didn’t accept that. She said my fat was going there and I needed to stop eating so much. She wasn’t well endowed, and she believed I would be if I ate less.

So I had an apple and some celery sticks for lunch. My waist had gotten smaller, but it was only making my boobs look even bigger. The bigger they looked, the more panicked my mother got and the less food she gave me.

“You’ve lost weight,” Dewayne said, frowning. “Need to gain some more weight, Little Red.”

“Hey, Sienna,” Dustin said, setting his tray down on the other side of the table. Surprised, I looked up at him.

“Hey,” I replied, happy to see him. I missed him.

“You look really good,” he said, his eyes glancing down at my chest, then back up at my face with an approving grin.

“She always looks good,” Dewayne informed him.

Dustin glanced at his brother and looked guilty. “Yeah, she does,” he replied, then turned back to me. “I’ve been busy with things since school started, and I haven’t been around a lot. I’m sorry about that.”

I nodded. I understood his need to fit in with the team. It was what he loved, and I was just his friend. I had once hoped he would see me as something more, but he was Dustin Falco and I was just the girl next door. Not the head cheerleader or dance team captain. Both those girls had caught Dustin’s attention. I’d seen him off in corners with them often.