Hot Finish (Fast Track #3)(54)
Author: Erin McCarthy

Suzanne stared at him then shook her head. “This communicating thing is going to take some getting used to.”

Ryder followed her into the kitchen and got himself a beer from the fridge as she filled a glass with water from the tap. “So have you been to the doctor? Do you have a due date?”

A baby. He was reeling. He just couldn’t believe it. Like the few days and nights he’d spent with Suzanne hadn’t been awesome enough, now they’d created a baby out of that time together. It had his head spinning and his heart inflating.

Suzanne took a sip of her water and tried to wrap her head around all of this. All things considered, his reaction to her news was decent. “I don’t go until right after Christmas. Tammy gave me her OB/GYN. I didn’t want to go to the same one as last time and have to answer a bunch of questions.” Like what they were to each other and how they’d managed to do this again.

She wasn’t sure what to think about the things he’d said. He had wanted children. That still sort of blew her mind. She had put up so many walls and had been so sure that he hadn’t wanted a family with her that it was hard to relinquish that belief now. It had honestly colored everything she had done in her marriage, and standing here pregnant again, this whole new reality displayed in front of her, she just didn’t know how to act.

But it had felt good with Ryder’s arms around her. Not for sex, but for intimacy. For holding her, caring for her. It had been real nice.

“Do you think it’s a girl or a boy?” he asked as he frowned at his beer bottle, unsuccessful at twisting the cap off.

“I think there’s a fifty-fifty chance it’s one of those. And that’s not a twist top, what are you doing? That’s your brand. Bottle opener is in the drawer by the stove.”

Ryder looked at the bottle in his hand and shook his head. “I think I’m a little rattled.”

“I’m a lot rattled but at least we have eight months to figure out what we’re doing. I mean, really, what do I know about being a mother?”

“You’ll be a fantastic mother. You care. Deeply. That’s what makes a good mother.”

Suzanne felt her cheeks burning. Lord, since when did she blush. “I say inappropriate things in front of Hunter and Pete. I let cusswords slip out.”

“A little cussing never killed a kid. They hear it in grade school on the bus anyway. You’ll be a great mother, I know it.” Ryder dug around in the drawer for the bottle opener.

“Thanks,” Suzanne said softly. “I appreciate that.” She did, because her confidence had really been suffering the last few weeks. She wasn’t sure she could do this, and do it right. It felt good to have him backing her up. “And I know you’ll be a great father.”

“I just wish I could be around more. This job is kind of a bitch when it comes to the schedule.”

“I’ll bring her to see you on the road if I can. It depends on if I get into school or not.” The whole thing suddenly seemed daunting again and Suzanne clutched her water glass.

“She? You think it’s a girl?” Ryder looked rapturous at the thought.

“I don’t know.” She wasn’t sure why she said she. It had just come out.

Then he frowned. “School? What are you going to school for?”

“I applied to law school.” Suzanne stuck her chin up and waited for him to laugh at her.

He just stared blankly at her. “Law school? Why do you want to go to law school?”

“So I can be a lawyer. It’s what I always wanted to be.”

“It is?” He looked incredulous, his hand pausing in the act of popping his beer cap off. “I didn’t know that. But okay.”

“Okay?” As if she needed his permission?

“I mean, that’s cool. If that’s what you want, you should go for it. I think you’d be great at it.”

His voice was more distracted than insincere, so she would just take it at face value. She couldn’t expect cart-wheels for her law school plans right now in the middle of all the other news she’d just dropped on him. “Thanks.”

“Speaking of lawyers, I guess I should call ours and cancel our court date.”

Suzanne had totally forgotten about their court date since she’d been a little busy having tons of condom-free sex with Ryder, planning Nikki’s wedding, and forming a placenta. They were due in court in a week, right after the wedding.

“I admit the timing is bad, but why should we cancel it?”

Hope bloomed in her heart that there, right then, in her terra cotta-colored kitchen he would say he wanted to be married to her still. That love conquered all and they could work it all out and be happy, together, as a family.

The need, the desire, bubbled up inside her so fast she was shocked to realize how much she wanted it. That was all she needed to hear and then she could throw off all her old worries and insecurities and look forward to the future.

“Because if we’re legally married we might as well stay that way. It looks bad otherwise. It will cause a lot of gossip, and the thing is I really don’t want my child born under those circumstances. Just easier to cancel the court date until we figure all this out, don’t you think?” Ryder took a sip of his beer.

That was so far off of what Suzanne had been wishing for, she couldn’t believe her heart had managed to bridge that gap so quickly. A sharp sense of betrayal smacked her and she felt her hands start to shake, she was so angry. Angry at him, for being so cold and unromantic and incapable of really loving her. Angry at herself, for never learning that in the end she needed to take what she got and be satisfied with it.

At least now she wouldn’t be alone like she’d always assumed. She’d have her baby. That was more than enough, and later, when she wasn’t so furious and disappointed and hurt, yet again, she’d be grateful to him for giving her that.

But right now, she needed him out of her line of vision before she chucked her water glass at him. “Get out,” she told him, tears choking her.

He set the beer bottle down on the counter with a clank. “What the hell? Why?”

“Just go before I freak out even more than I already am.” She had about sixty seconds before she lost it totally.

“What happened to communicating? Talking things through?” Ryder looked pissed and astonished.

Now maybe he’d understand how she felt. “I’ll take a rain check.”