Immortal (Fallen Angels #6)(47)
Author: J.R. Ward

“Oh, really. I’m very sure that I was the only one who lost their virginity.”

“I wanted you so bad, so fucking bad—I was scared I was going to hurt you. That’s why I pulled out and came into the goddamn mattress. And afterward, I had the worst case of the head-fucks—I know you’re disappointed in me, and you have every right to be. I just … look I’m not good at this, okay? I don’t know how to do…” He motioned back and forth between them with his cigarette. “…this. You want to know the real me? Well, you’ve got him right here—I’m tongue-tied and stupid, especially with you, and that is dangerous for you, for everyone. Oh, and yeah, I killed those three men back in Iowa. I came home from school to find my mother bleeding on our kitchen floor. They had done…” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “…bad shit to her. Just so we’re clear? I’d do it all over again—and no, they didn’t find all the body parts, because some of them were nothing more than mulch after I was done with those bastards.”

Sissy looked down at her hand, thinking about how much the wound hurt. Then she imagined what it would be like to have things that were worse get done to her while she was conscious.

“I went into the military afterward. That’s where I went, Sissy. I did unspeakable things for this country until I couldn’t live with myself anymore and I got out. I was electrocuted at a construction site about three weeks ago—and that’s how I ended up here. I got nothing to offer you but honesty—and that’s it. This where I’m at.”

“I don’t…” Now she was the one with the head-fuck, as he so aptly put it. “I don’t know—”

She cut herself off before she could finish with “who to believe.” Instinct told her it was better to keep Devina out of it.

“You sure there wasn’t a reason,” he murmured.

“For what.”

“Looking me up.”

“I had sex with a man for the first time and he leaves my bed without a word. I don’t need you to hold me afterward and make me feel better, but I—”

“I want to do that.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I am very sorry, Sissy. I handled that really fucking badly.”

It was so weird. As she listened to his voice and studied his open, calm affect, she felt like she was straddling a divide, teetering back and forth, shifting her weight from one side to the other. In Devina’s car, she’d been so sure that Jim was the enemy. Now, listening to him, she wasn’t so sure.

“I had to find out something about you,” she blurted.

“I can respect that.”

After a moment, her feet moved of their own volition, taking her over to the table. Then her arm extended and she pulled out the chair opposite him. She sat down slowly, her mind flip-flopping between the extremes.

Was he an angel? A devil?

It seemed foolish to believe the source of all evil about anything. But those killings …

“They made us get that tattoo.”

She looked up, and wondered if maybe he read minds. “They?”

“My branch of the government. Such as it was. We all had the Grim Reaper put on us. It’s not a badge of courage to me or something I’m proud of. And God knows, the shit is all over my back, so getting it removed, even if I had the free goddamn time, would hardly be an option.”

Straddling, straddling. Images of Jim with Devina warring in her mind with the information he’d just given her so calmly and succinctly … like he had no interest in hiding anything from her.

“It hurt,” she heard herself say. “When you left like that. I was … confused. I thought I’d done something wrong.”

He winced. “Last thing I wanted to do. I swear.”

“I don’t know—”

Jim laid his hand on his heart and stared straight into her soul. “I swear it on my mother.”

Chapter Twenty-three

“Looks like you need some help.”

As Ad heard the nasty female voice behind him, he closed his eyes and tried to stop thinking about how much his bad leg hurt. “Not from you.”

He turned around. Devina had oiled up to the front of the house in her big black Mercedes, and somehow managed to get out from behind its wheel without making a sound.

Which made him wonder exactly how long she’d been there.

She smiled at him like a raptor as she lounged against the nearest quarter panel. “You know, Adrian, we go well together, you and I. Surely you haven’t forgotten how we—”

“I try to forget every day, bitch.”

The demon faked a pout and threw some of that heavy brunette hair over her shoulder. “Playing hard to get?”

“Are you here for a reason, or did you just feel like wasting my time.” At least the extra protection spell was up and rolling, its red glow separating them. Thank God.

“Jim called me. So I came.”

“You sure about that.”

“Very.”

Adrian turned back to the plywood he’d managed to wedge into one of the empty sills. Putting three nails between his teeth, he hammered the upper right-hand corner first and then worked his way around. All the while, the demon just stood there, staring at him.

The only reason he didn’t push her to get the fuck going was because at least he knew where she was—and it was not with whatever soul was up in this round. But, man, this was like the worst case of the Jeopardy theme he’d ever been through.

“I could help you, you know,” she drawled as he straightened with some effort.

He smiled with all his teeth and waved his hand around at Jim’s spell. “No, you really can’t. And I guess my boy ain’t coming out to see you, so how ’bout you run along and scare a little kid or something.”

“Sissy’s an interesting girl, isn’t she.”

Ad frowned and contemplated hammering something that didn’t involve a nail head or any kind of plywood. “You’re done with her, remember?”

“Am I.” The demon straightened off the sleek sedan. “Tell Jim I’ll be back.”

“And now you’re the Terminator.”

“You got that right, Adrian.” She high-stepped around the hood like she was on the goddamn catwalk. “Give my regards to Eddie.”

“That one’s getting old, baby girl.”

“Not on my end, it isn’t.”