Lost in Distraction (Lost #1)(52)
Author: B.J. Harvey

Shay: B, you’ve gotta get out of there. Brimstone has made the call to the boss, he’s saying you need to get out of there or else they’re going after her. Gibbons says now that they’ve made us, she’ll only be safe with you gone. I’ve already spotted one of Evan’s cars on the next block over. We’ve gotta move now so that they pull out.

Brax: I can’t disappear. I can’t leave her alone.

Shay: I know you love her, but she is going to be safer without us here. Gibbons assures me that he is sending another detail to take over from us asap, they’re on their way now. The boss man made the call to pull us out.

Brax: I can’t, Shay.

Shay: You have to, otherwise he’s going to come after her.

Brax: Give me until the morning.

Shay: No can do. It has to be now while she’s asleep, you know it’ll be easier for the both of you. No questions asked, no answers required. Come on, B. You know it’s bad when Evans is making moves. Something has gone bust and we can’t stop it now.

I lie in bed, simply staring at Shay’s last text. Shay knows that I wouldn’t leave Elle alone, except if I was the one putting her in danger.

Shit! Damn! Fuck!

Brax: I’ll be down as soon as I can.

I put the phone down and wrap both my arms around Elise. This was the worst case scenario, having to leave her alone. This will break her all over again. She took a big chance on us, on me, and now I’m deserting her. I’ll come back for her somehow. I don’t care how long it takes, Elle is my forever and nothing can take that away from me now. I carefully pull away from her as she rolls over and snuggles down around the blankets. She looks so beautiful when she sleeps, I sit up and just watch her for a few minutes, she looks so peaceful.

I quietly get dressed and grab whatever I can take with me—mainly my wallet, phone and keys. Getting up, I stand in the doorway, taking a last look at the love of my life, committing the sight of Elle peacefully sleeping to memory. I’m doing this for her, I wouldn’t be leaving if there was any other way. I’ll make my way back to her somehow, if only I could tell her the truth to ease the pain she’s going to wake up to tomorrow.

I make my way quietly out of the apartment and down the stairs to Shay who is waiting in his car outside the building. We’re doing this publicly so that whoever is watching the apartment will report it back to Evans. We want him to know we’ve left and to think Elle is alone now.

I pause outside the car. I know things will never be the same once I get in. I know once I leave I’ve more than likely lost her forever, but I’d rather sacrifice my happiness than compromise her safety.

Shay looks at me with sympathy as I finally get in the car.

“I’m not leaving her, B. I’m going to stay on here and keep her safe for you. I told Gibbons it was a done deal. He only agreed because the call was for you to leave, not both of us.”

I look at him in shock. “Shay, that is huge, man. I can’t thank you enough.” I’m tempted to hug my best friend for the first time in six years. He continues to explain.

“Look, man. It’s a no brainer. She is your girl and if you can’t stay and protect her, I’m the next best thing.”

He starts the car and takes off towards the airport where I know that I’ll be put on the boss’s plane back to Atlanta. The message will have already been sent to Evans and Brimstone to back off and they will be told that I’m not longer with Elle. At least my leaving will mean she will be a lot safer for the foreseeable future, especially now that Shay is staying behind to be my eyes and ears.

After about an hour and a half later, Shay drops me off at a private airport where the bosses plane is waiting for me. She’s all I can think about. Soon she’ll be waking up to an empty bed and no trace of where I have gone.

I had no choice. I knew the moment I made my decision that I was going to lose the other half of my soul, my whole reason for being, my Elle. Nothing I could ever do would make it right for her.

It took everything I had to heal her the first time, to mold her back into the brilliant, radiant light she always was. Being the one to shatter her this time will be the end of all hope for her. The end of the light, and the return of the dark in her world.

It’s a cruel twist that this happened the night before I was going to tell her everything. I was going to lay it all out for her. By leaving, she’ll remain in the dark. She will never know the truth about her father, his business partner, and their dealings with the big boss.

If she knew the truth, the real reason why I was gone—even the reason why I came into her life in the first place—my life would not be worth living.

2 days later

His blue eyes haunt me. Every day they haunt me. My morning, my day, my night. My nightmares that have returned, those ice cold baby blues of his torment me.

He was right when he said I would never be the same, that I could never forget him.

The way he could reach in and touch my soul with a single glance, an eyebrow quirk, a smirk with that delectable mouth. How the touch of his body to mine made my heart sing and my skin burn with a fire so hot it could light a match.

The pain of his disappearance worsens every day. I’ve rung his old roommates, checked with the College administration and come up with nothing. He isn’t even listed as a student any more.

On the second day I start thinking it is my fault. What did I do to make him run away? He left with nothing but his wallet and phone. All of his clothes are still in the wardrobe. I’ve taken to wearing his t-shirt to bed just to feel close to him again.

Today is the third day since he disappeared from my life and now anger has set in. It was totally unfair of him to approach me in that first Economics class. How dare he worm his way into my cold unforgiving heart and make it warm again. He was wrong to fix me and make me whole again, to make the sun rise and fall in my previously dark world. He’s made it ten times worse now that I know what I’ve lost.

He made me feel alive then cut me off at the knees by disappearing without a trace, without a single word or even a note.

I went from waking up next to him every morning and going to bed with him every night, living in our little love filled bubble, our cocoon, our sanctuary. I was deliriously happy, I had Brax, I had school, and I had my father’s company under my control. Then suddenly I was waking up alone, not sure where he was, why his phone was disconnected, why he had vanished into thin air.

What do you do when you had no hope, then hope was reborn in your heart, then the man who brings that hope back into your life all but disappears. Where do you go from there?