Lost in Distraction (Lost #1)(53)
Author: B.J. Harvey

Epilogue

I have to call her. I only have a few minutes before I have to start moving again. I asked the guys for half an hour, they can only give me fifteen until Gibbons will notice I was gone.

I push my forehead against the glass, taking a minute to compose myself. I know this isn’t going to be easy. I broke her heart, destroyed her trust, and shattered everything we had by leaving. If only I hadn’t have listened to bloody Gibbons.

Hind sight is a wonderful thing.

Who would’ve thought eight months ago when I first took the job that I would find myself in this position. I knew she was different, that the effect she was having on me was like nothing I’d ever felt before. But I never would I have thought I would be the one who ended up putting her in danger, and that my own flesh and blood would be one of the threats to her life.

I put the coins in and shakily dial the number, holding my breath while I wait for the call to connect.

It rings a few times and then I hear her voice. I stop breathing, she sounds so lost.

“Elle,” I whisper her name and she gasps in shock.

“Brax?” she replies, like she can’t quite believe it’s me.

“I don’t have much time, sweetheart, but I just had to hear your voice,” I explain, half expecting to hear the dial tone at any moment. Instead I hear her breathing heavily into the hand piece. She’s trying to compose herself.

“Are you still there, Elle?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” she sighs.

“I need to tell you something, then I’ll go and I don’t know if I’ll be able to call again for a while,” I say downheartedly.

“I don’t understand, Brax. You just disappeared without a trace, you didn’t say a single word…did I really mean nothing to you? I didn’t even know where you’d gone, I couldn’t find you!” she whimpers. “I never thought you’d leave me like everyone else, I thought you were different.”

My heart breaks all over again. I didn’t think it was possible to hurt any more than I already am. I know I don’t have long before they come after me, I have to tell her why I’ve called her.

“Sweetheart, I had to leave to keep you safe. I was told that it was the only way I could protect you. I couldn’t warn you, I couldn’t tell you anything. But I knew back then and I know it even more now, I can’t live without you. I will find a way for us. I need you to believe that,” I implore, hoping like hell she believes me.

I hear her sobbing down the phone, I wish I could wrap my arms around her right now and tell her everything will be okay. The only peace of mind I have is that Shay is still watching her.

“I don’t understand. I’m not in any danger, Brax. Nobody can hurt me except you. I love you, I can’t do this without you. I’m broken.”

Her words cut through me like a knife.

“I don’t know how to carry on without you. I haven’t even left the apartment since you left, in case you came back.” Hearing her words strengthens my resolve, I have to be with her again and I’ll damn well move heaven and earth to make that happen.

“I love you too, Elle. You have to believe me that I didn’t want to leave. I need to be with you. I don’t have long before I’m going to have to go, they’re going to be coming for me soon. If this is gonna work, I need to get going now.” I look around, checking that I haven’t been noticed yet, letting out a deep breath when I can’t see anybody.

“This is what I need you to do. I need you to lose the tail that’s watching you outside your building and meet me at the bandstand in Woldenberg Park, New Orleans, down by the water. I’ll meet you there midnight, Friday. You think you can do that for me, darlin?” I‘m desperate now. My phone starts buzzing on my hip, my signal that I have to start moving.

“What tail? Who’s watching me, Brax? What is going on?” she says frantically. I know she’s worried now.

“I need you to listen to me. Can you do it? Can you meet me?”

“Yes! Yes I’ll be there. I’ll hire a car, I’ll lose whatever tail I have. You promise you’ll be there? I have to be with you,” she says frantically. She sounds hopeful now, so different from when she first answered, although there is still a tinge of concern in her voice.

“You will be there, won’t you?” she asks tentatively.

With a smile I answer her, my heart is full to bursting again.

“Of course, baby, I’m coming for you. I can’t live without you, either. I knew I couldn’t but the only way is to leave. We can be together, babe. Just you and me. I love you, please remember that,” I plead, hoping like hell she believes me. These past five days have been hell without her by my side. “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you in five days. Only five more nights then we’ll never be apart again.”

“I’m counting down the days, Brax. I need to see you and kiss you. I can’t be without you.”

“I know hon, I need you too. I’ll see you soon. Just be careful okay, whatever you do, be careful. If you think you are being followed or feel in any danger at all, don’t meet me. Go somewhere with your phone and wait for my call. Promise me, Elle. I can’t lose you either.”

“I’ll be careful. Love you always.”

“You too. Until Friday.”

“Bye, baby,” she says, her voice shaky with tears. This will be the last time I have to say goodbye to her. In five nights time she’ll be in my arms again. I’ll be whole. It wasn’t what I’d planned, but I can’t deny it any longer.

Screw the organization, screw the assignment, screw the boss and Brimstone and especially that prick of a father, Evans. I’m the only one that can keep her safe, I have to. She’s all I have and all I want.

As I go to hang up the phone, I hear a gun shot over the phone.

I hear Brax hanging up the phone and I’m just about to hang up myself when I hear a gun shot in the background. Oh my god. Please don’t let it be Brax.

I’m terrified. It’s happening all over again. I’m going to lose him.

“Brax!” I sob into the phone. I can’t stop my whole body from shaking and I feel myself shutting down again. My chest is burning. This must be what it feels like to have a broken heart.

All of a sudden it hits me. I didn’t hear the gunshot over the phone and the burning in my side that I thought was my heart breaking feels wet as pain rips through me.