Make Me Bad (Page 12)

“Slow down, sis,” he says, loudly enough for our entire group to hear.

A few people chuckle and poke fun at how protective he is, but my patience is dwindling fast. I only came to this party because Ben asked me to, but there’s no way Colten will let me out of his sight long enough to actually have a chance to talk to him. Even if I did break free, there’s no way I’d be able to fight my way through his horde of admirers—not that I’d even want to. Maybe he only invited me here tonight out of courtesy, or worse…pity. I think back to the way I unloaded my life on him in the library. I rambled on, forcing an ultimatum upon a man I hardly know. My cheeks are two hot flames. I can’t believe I did that. At the time, it felt daring, like I was finally taking control and steering things in the direction of my choosing. Now, it feels silly, pathetic. What kind of person enlists a total stranger to help her lose her virginity?

Oh my god. The entire idea of it slams into me like a Mack truck. I need to sit down or throw up. I glance around, trying to find a piece of furniture within reach in case I need it, but Jake’s taken everything out of the living room so there’s more space for people to gather.

I’m stuck standing unless I want to try to lean against that fancy modern sculpture of a hand over near the fireplace. Where are the folding chairs?! The card tables covered in plastic tablecloths?

I tug on Colten’s arm. “I’m going to use the bathroom,” I announce, not waiting for him to protest before I break away from the group and turn down a side hallway. The line is ten people deep and I don’t actually have to go, so there’s no point in standing there. Besides, if I’m gone that long, Colten will assume I’ve been abducted.

I start down another hallway that looks promising, telling myself I have a good five minutes before I have to return to my overbearing chaperone. I pass a bedroom and a home gym. At the end of the hall, I peek past a doorway and am inspecting the inside of a library that makes my heart pitter patter with jealousy when a cool, hard voice speaks behind me.

“The library’s off limits.”

I turn and jump out of my skin, my free hand flying to my chest. I manage to save most of my champagne from landing on Jake’s polished black wood floors by absorbing it all into the front of my dress. Wonderful. I can see the outline of my lacy bra.

Ben is standing a few feet away, somehow here in this hallway with me even though he belongs back there in the crowded living room. The overhead light is off, a deterrent meant to keep people out of this area of the condo. I didn’t heed the warning, and apparently, Ben didn’t either. Without the lights, he’s half cast in shadow, watching me. We’re alone, and that knowledge sends my heart into a race I’m not sure it’ll win.

“I wasn’t going to go in,” I say hurriedly, embarrassed to have been caught snooping.

Ben is still standing there, the very edge of his lips barely lifted. His cheek wants to dimple, but he won’t let it.

“Shame,” he says before stepping forward, grabbing my hand, and tugging me inside. My body whirls after him. The door slams closed behind us. I stand stock-still near the entrance of the room while Ben continues inside, his hand releasing mine, leaving it cold and bereft. The sound of his boots against the wood floor is the only noise beyond the waves crashing against the shore. Like in the hallway, the lights are off, but with the large windows, the moonlight is enough to illuminate Ben as he wanders over to peruse Jake’s collection of books.

I watch him with bated breath. It’s comical that I thought we were alone a moment ago in the hallway because now we truly are.

I reach for the door handle behind me. “My brother—”

He glances at me over his shoulder, wearing a bored expression. “Is currently in the middle of a conversation with Norah Adler. She’s doing it as a favor to me.”

My eyes widen. “Why would you do that?”

He goes back to browsing the rows of books, his finger trailing along the spines as he replies, “Because your brother wasn’t going to let me talk to you. I had to get creative.”

The admission sends a thrill ricocheting through me. He wanted to talk to me. He wants me here. Then a realization hits me. I frown, worried for Colten. “You shouldn’t have done that. He really likes Norah.”

Ben nods, not at all shocked by the revelation. “It’s exactly why I asked her to occupy him. Anyone else and he might not be distracted enough to forget his role.”

“His role?”

“Playing the protective big brother,” he says, finally turning his attention fully to me. His face looks menacing even as he glances down at my champagne-stained dress. I wonder if he feels bad for scaring me. If so, he doesn’t apologize. “Want me to find you a towel?”

I shake my head. It’s no use now, but I still wipe aimlessly at my dress with my hand, highly aware that the light blue color is all but sheer now that it’s drenched. I pull it away from my chest as if trying to air it out and then look back up to find him watching me.

We’re half a room apart, and I think I prefer it that way.

His head tips to the side. “I’ve been wondering, does your brother know about your big life plans?”

I nearly choke. “No. Of course not. He and my dad like things just the way they are. If they had it their way, I’d never leave the house, would never walk outside or experience anything that wasn’t perfectly…wholesome.”

He smiles then, appreciating my honesty. “So what you’re hoping to achieve this year is too devious to tell your brother about. Interesting.”

He’s not moving and yet it feels like he’s circling around me like a snake, squeezing me tighter…and tighter. Soon, there’ll be no air left.

“You’re on the right track then,” he continues. “You made it to the party, and you snuck off into a room that’s not really intended for guests.” His brows arch. “What are you going to do now?”

Umm, congratulate myself on the achievement and call it a day? If I booked it home, I could still be safely tucked in bed before ten.

I can’t say that, obviously, so instead I deflect by answering his question with one of my own.

“What would you do? If you were me, if you wanted to be bad…”

He moves then, heading for the tufted leather couch sitting against the wall underneath a framed black and white abstract painting. He turns and sits down, stretching his long legs out in front of him so they’re crossed at the ankles.

“There’s the obvious choice. Normally, if I’m alone with a woman at a party, there’s no real question about what we’re about to do.”

One of his arms gets propped on the back of the couch. He’s the picture of easy confidence when our eyes meet again.

I resist the urge to stuff my fist into my mouth and bite down. Still, my insides flip and then clench tight. My bottom lip is tucked between my teeth before I realize what I’m doing and release it on an exhale. I’m lucky I didn’t draw blood.

His sinister smile stays in place as he continues, “But, since that’s not on the agenda for tonight, we’ll have to think of something else.”

Not on the agenda, of course. Why would it be? I’m just standing here looking as if I’ve entered a wet t-shirt contest. If I was more of a woman and he was less of a man, we’d be on the floor, tumbling around like two wild animals.

I try not to take offense at the fact that sex and anything pertaining to it has been so easily wiped off the table. Am I so unattractive that the very thought of sleeping with me sends him running in the other direction? Maybe it’s just that I’m not in his league, or perhaps not even on his radar.

In a way, it’s liberating having him reaffirm what I already suspected. I don’t have to be so serious about this. Sure, I’m alone with an attractive man, but I don’t have to worry about impressing him. He’s shut the door on that subject—locked it, in fact, and thrown away the key.

I finally move freely, stepping over to inspect the books that have been calling my name since I first poked my head into the room. Jake’s collection isn’t too shabby, but it’s obviously curated. Every title is here to impress rather than to be enjoyed. I know, because nearly all of the spines are perfect. None of these books have been cracked, torn through, devoured.

“You could steal one of them,” Ben suggests.

I glance over my shoulder at him with a wry smile. “Why stop there? Let’s take his TV too.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “It’s just a thought. You want to be bad, but this location is sort of limiting.”

I nod, continuing to peruse the shelf as he continues, his voice slightly more goading than it was a moment ago.

“I suppose if you don’t want to take something, you could leave something instead.”

His words are as tantalizing as the meaning behind them. I freeze with my finger resting on the spine of The Divine Comedy. How fitting considering my Virgil is sitting right behind me.

Without turning to him, I ask, “Like what?”

“A token.”

I might be innocent in some ways, but I’m not so naive that I miss his meaning. I have so few things with me, no purse and no phone. I didn’t think I’d need them since I was coming with Colten. I have my mostly empty cup of champagne and the clothes on my back, a hair tie around one wrist. None of those things qualify as a token, though. No, a token is something compelling, a part of yourself. The first thing I think of is my unmentionables, the things I’ve never taken off in the presence of a man before. I cringe considering I can’t even refer to them directly in my own thoughts.