My Nerdy Valentine (Nerds, #7)(3)
Author: Vicki Lewis Thompson

"William!" Gloria burst from her office as if shot from a cannon. She held a video in her hand. A rhythmic beat and muted cries indicated that she’d already popped another one in the player. "I thought I heard your voice, but between the exaggerated grunting and moaning on this lame DVD, I wasn’t sure."

He backed up a step. "I was just bringing the papers for you to sign. No hurry, really. I should be going."

"Nonsense. Come on in the office while I sign the papers. That will be more efficient." She handed the video to Amanda. "I’d like you to return that one and get a refund."

"Now?" Amanda tried to tune out the orgasmic sounds coming from Gloria’s office.

"Yes, while the transaction is still fresh in the clerk’s mind."

"I thought you wanted the client evaluations finished by tomorrow."

"I do. Take a few home if you need to. But I need this video returned."

"All right." There went any hope of extra sleep tonight.

Gloria was picky about her porn, but as one of the G-Spot’s best customers, she was allowed to return almost anything. Holding the video, Amanda stood, walked around her desk and headed toward the coat rack next to the door.

From inside Gloria’s office came a woman’s voice on the DVD begging, "Give it to me! Give it to me now!"

"Bring me a mocha cappuccino on the way back," Gloria said. "The video I’m watching now is more promising than that one, but if it doesn’t stimulate me, either, I can always resort to caffeine."

"Whipped cream?"

"Of course. Whipped cream gives me such a sensual buzz. William, can I interest you in a cappuccino?"

"No, no, thanks."

"Deeper, deeper!" cried the woman on the video. The drumbeats grew faster.

William shifted his weight uneasily. "I really need to get back to the office. The papers can be signed anytime in the next couple of days."

Gloria waved a hand in the air. "Don’t look so worried. I have clients coming in ten minutes. It’s not like I’ll throw you on the floor and have my way with you. Amanda, don’t let them give you any guff because that DVD’s been opened."

"I won’t." She’d become a pro at X-rated movie returns.

A man’s voice replaced the woman’s on the video, and now a saxophone wailed. "Take it, baby," said the man. "Take it all. Oh, yeah!"

"They should cheerfully give you a refund," Gloria said. "That video is a waste. I don’t know how they expect to arouse a viewer if they won’t show full frontal nudity or zoom in on the gen**als. The pumping action was a complete fake, if you ask me. I’ll bet Tab A was never inserted in Slot B. What a rip-off."

Amanda resisted the urge to glance at William as she took her coat off the hook. She was used to this kind of behavior in Gloria’s office, but he wasn’t. She had one arm in her coat sleeve before she felt the weight of the coat lighten and realized that William was holding it for her.

Drums and saxophones combined for what was surely the climactic moment for the couple on the screen in Gloria’s office. "I’m coming!" groaned the man.

"Thanks, William." Amanda transferred the rejected video to her other hand and slipped her arm into the sleeve. In the process she got another whiff of Old Spice.

‘That is so precious," Gloria said. "How many men hold a woman’s coat these days?"

"Blame it on my upbringing," William said.

"Did you also learn how to help a woman out of her coat? That could be even more valuable."

"I’m coming, too!" screeched the woman in the video.

Amanda turned in time to catch a plea for help in William’s green eyes. Well, he’d have to find aid somewhere else or learn to fend for himself. He was the one who’d chosen to make a personal delivery of the papers.

"See you later," she said, and escaped into the hall.

It was true that clients were due in ten minutes, but that gave Gloria a window of opportunity that was more than ample for a quickie. She seemed determined to make a conquest with or without Amanda’s advice. And maybe she would succeed, but Amanda figured it wasn’t in her job description to hang around and watch.

When the door closed behind Amanda, William wished he’d decided against bringing the papers down. He could have sent Bonnie, the receptionist. But then he would have missed the chance to see Amanda again.

He should abandon the cause, but the more he found out about her, the more intrigued he was. She was as determined to fly as that little hummingbird on her desk. He had no idea why, but maybe she’d had a screwup older brother like he did. Maybe she was carrying the banner for the whole family, the same as he was.

William admired that kind of determination, but, because he was a normal guy, he admired other stuff, too. Her soft blue sweater gave him X-rated ideas of his own, for all the good it did him. Arriving without his hat had seemed to make no difference in her reaction. She didn’t even want to be friends.

A potential friend wouldn’t have left him to deal with Gloria and her raging hormones. William had never met anyone like Gloria before, and he hoped never to meet anyone like her again. But he needed to build up a client list, which meant he couldn’t afford to turn down business, especially from a woman with a portfolio like Gloria’s. She might be a sex maniac, but she also had a ton of investments.

"Come on into my office, William." Picking up the envelope from Amanda’s desk, Gloria turned and sashayed through the door.

William didn’t want to go in there. The video playing on her TV was bad enough, but he was worried that she might start peeling off clothes, and he wanted to avoid that at all costs. They hadn’t covered this situation in his orientation with Cooper and Scott. Vowing not to look at the television screen, he squared his shoulders and walked into Gloria’s office.

Holy den of iniquity! The X-rated video playing on the screen was the least of his problems. He’d never been in any therapist’s office, let alone one who dealt with sex, but he would have expected framed diplomas and professional citations on the wall. Instead Gloria’s walls were decorated with enlarged, framed illustrations of couples in various sexual positions.

William had some knowledge of those positions. He believed in studying any subject in which he had an interest, and he definitely had an interest in sex. Obviously Gloria had more than an interest. He was no psychologist, but he thought it would classify as a fixation.

"How do you like the art I’ve chosen?" she asked.

He turned, half afraid of what he’d find when he looked at her. Thankfully she hadn’t removed any clothes. "I guess it’s appropriate to your job."

"Do you recognize it?"

"Uh …" Of course he recognized it. Any guy over the age of ten would recognize what those pictures were about.

"I mean the source of the illustrations. I assume you understand the subject matter. It’s self-explanatory."

No kidding. Over her red leather love seat hung the male and female versions of something labeled underneath as Mouth Music. One of those illustrations was being mimicked on the TV screen. He’d tried not to look, but it was like trying to ignore an elephant in the room.

"So, do the drawings look familiar?" Gloria asked again.

"I don’t know the artist, if that’s what you mean."

"They’re from Alex Comfort’s The New Joy of Sex. Have you seen that book?"

"No, can’t say that I have."

"It’s a classic, I could loan you a copy if you—"

"You were going to sign the forms?" Gloria didn’t tempt him, not even slightly, but the emphasis on sex in this office was working on him, anyway. No guy could be surrounded by the power of suggestion to this extent and not have a reaction. He was sure Gloria was counting on that.

"Yes, of course." She walked behind her desk and picked up a pen.

Grateful that she was finally about to do what he’d asked, William watched her sign the forms, which meant he noticed the pen in her hand. It was flesh-colored, and thicker than a normal pen. At the top were two round … oh, dear God.

She glanced up. "Like my pen?"

"It’s unusual."

"I love my job, William." She lifted the pen and licked the tip of it. "And I’ve learned a great deal."

"I’m sure you have." He sounded as if he had laryngitis. What an impossible situation. "All done?"

"For now." She picked up the forms and tucked them slowly back inside the envelope. "Tell me, have you ever let a woman tie you up?"

"No. Listen, I have to get back. I’m sure I have a stack of messages piled up by now." He wouldn’t have a stack of messages. He hadn’t reached that level of success yet. But it sounded good and it was all his distracted brain could think of.

"I’m sure you do. I’m sure you have a big, thick stack of urgent messages by now."

"Right." He grabbed the envelope.

She hung on. "Let me take you to dinner tonight."

He tugged on the envelope. "I have plans." Plans with his television set and the Bulls game. Justin, his roommate from college days, was batching it this week while his fiancée was on a business trip. Justin was coming over for pizza and a couple of beers.

She gripped the envelope tighter. "Cancel them. Better yet, we can have dinner at my place."

"Sorry, can’t cancel. Very critical."

"A woman?"

"Uh, yeah." He’d call his mother during the first commercial. He hadn’t talked to either of his folks in a while, and he needed to let them know how the job was going. Up until now, it had been going just tine.

"Well, then." Gloria released the envelope. "If she doesn’t work out, you know where to find me."

"Absolutely." He left her office so fast he ran straight into Amanda, who had just returned, a mocha cappuccino clutched in one hand. The lid flew off and whipped cream and coffee splashed over both of them.

"Damn it! I’m sorry!" Dropping the envelope on the floor, he pulled a handkerchief from his hip pocket and began dabbing at the coffee and whipped cream on the front of her nylon jacket.

"Don’t worry about me," she said. "It washes. I doubt you can say the same for that suit."

"Doesn’t matter."

"What have we here?" Gloria strolled out of her office. "I do believe I’m the one who was supposed to be playing with the whipped cream, not you two."

"Sorry about that." William picked up the envelope from the floor and noticed it had been baptized by the coffee, too. At least there wasn’t any on the carpet. "I can get you another cappuccino."

"And bring it personally?"

‘I’ll probably need to have it delivered. I really am pressed for time."

"In that case, I’ll make do with this one." Gloria took the cup from Amanda and licked at the remaining whipped cream. "But I think you may have to redo those forms and bring them back for me to sign."

"I’m sure they’ll be fine." William edged toward the door. "Amanda, if that doesn’t come out of your coat, let me know." "It’ll come out, but thanks."

"Sure." He took another second to enjoy the sparkle in her blue eyes and the pink in her cheeks. If he could be alone with Amanda in an office filled with graphic pictures on the wall and an X-rated video running, he wouldn’t mind at all. She might, though. They’d shared spilled sex toys and a spilled coffee drink, but they hadn’t bonded over either incident.

"See you soon, William," Gloria said. "I need to warn you that I have lots of questions about my portfolio. I’m the kind of client who needs plenty of personal attention."

"Right. I’ll be in touch." As he headed out the door, he regretted his choice of words.

"That’s exactly what I’m hoping for," Gloria called after him.

THREE

Well, Amanda, so far, so good." Gloria took a sip of her cappuccino. "I managed to work in a mention of Alex Comfort’s work, and he was noticeably rattled by the framed illustrations and the video I had playing."

Amanda didn’t want to think about William looking at pictures of people hav**g s*x. The concept of sex shouldn’t be mixed with William in her mind, ever. Even so, that mixture had a certain appeal, probably because she’d been doing without for so long. The last thing she needed was to have sex with a guy who would probably take it way too seriously.

She unzipped her damp coat and hung it on the coat rack. I couldn’t get a cash refund for the video, but they gave me store credit."

"That’s fine. I’ll be sending you for more merchandise, I’m sure. I’m running low on edible panties and flavored oils." She gazed at the doorway as if envisioning the man who had just left. "I know what. I’ll have William research the companies that make that sort of thing so I can buy stock in them. If I engage his brain, the rest will follow, don’t you think?"

Amanda mentally rolled her eyes. "I couldn’t say. I’ve never tried to seduce a nerd."

"Neither have I, but I’m having such fun with this one. He was trying so hard not to watch the nak*d couple in the video, but something like that is virtually impossible to ignore."

"That would be true."

"And his pupils got huge, which tells me that if I could have kept him there longer, something else might have started expanding, too. But he left before I could work on his libido some more. I’m dying to find out if my thumbs theory holds up."

Desperate to change the subject, Amanda glanced at her watch. "Shouldn’t the Crutchhelds be here by now?"

"Yes, they should, now that you mention it. Call them and find out if there’s a problem. I’ll be in my office."

Amanda sat at her desk and picked up the phone to forestall any more conversation about the sexual responses of William Sloan. Until now, she’d only dealt with Gloria’s unusual therapy techniques, which involved demonstrating how to use the various sex toys and previewing videos with the couples she had as clients.

To be fair, Gloria didn’t exactly have sex with them. If she’d done that, Amanda’s conscience would have made her report her boss, no matter what the personal consequences might be. No, Gloria skirted that, but she certainly had sex in front of them.