My Nerdy Valentine (Nerds, #7)(4)
Author: Vicki Lewis Thompson

Amanda considered that unprofessional, but she wasn’t sure if it would be actionable. Still, she had to deal with what was going on in Gloria’s office, which was sort of like being in the middle of an X-rated movie. She’d thought that was bad enough.

But watching Gloria go after a sexual partner for herself was turning out to be even more uncomfortable, especially when Amanda kind of knew him. William didn’t seem like the sort of guy who deserved to be stalked by the likes of Gloria.

Mimi Crutchfield answered the phone sounding out of breath. "Oh, Amanda! I was just going to call! I don’t know if we can make the appointment. We’ve been in bed all morning and we lost track of the time."

"You’re already ten minutes into your hour, I’m afraid," Amanda said. "Would you like to reschedule?"

"Actually, I wonder if I can talk to Dr. Tredway a minute. You see, I have Franklin tied to the bedposts just like she suggested, and he’s gone to sleep. I’ve tried everything— massage, penile stimulation, erotic music. Nothing works."

Alarm shot through Amanda. "Is he breathing?"

"Oh, my, yes. He’s snoring, as a matter of fact. Dr. Tredway didn’t mention anything about this reaction, so I need to speak with her."

"Sure thing." Amanda buzzed Gloria’s office and tried to block the visual of Franklin Crutchfield, bank president and distinguished member of the community, spread-eagled on a four-poster. "Mimi Crutchfield needs to talk to you," she said when Gloria answered.

"What’s the problem?"

"I think I’ll let her tell you about it."

"Amanda, you are far too squeamish to be a sex therapist I hope you know that."

"I’ll work on it." She’d decided not to tell Gloria that she had no intention of becoming a sex therapist. Better to let Gloria think she was actually training her. Amanda didn’t want to be in the position of potential convert. She had no idea what that might look like, and she had no urge to find out.

Two minutes later, she heard a whoop of laughter coming from Gloria’s office. Then Gloria sauntered through the door, a cat-who-ate-the-cream smile on her face. "Franklin Crutchfield began therapy complaining that Mimi never took any sexual initiative."

The unwelcome picture of Franklin staked out on the mattress popped into Amanda’s head. "So that’s fixed, now, I assume?"

"I would say so! She worked him over all morning, making sure they tried each of the fifteen positions I’d taught them, and all the alternate locations, as well. They did it on the dining room table, up against the washing machine, under his desk, on the kitchen—"

"I get the idea." Amanda thought she might have to switch banks. Managing her small amount of money was stressful enough without being reminded of the sexual acrobatics of the bank president every time she walked into her local branch.

"Anyway, by the time she’d tied him to the bedposts for a little friendly bondage game, the guy was exhausted. Mimi thought she’d done something wrong. I told her he’d shown incredible stamina for a man his age and she should be proud. So, yeah, the problem seems to be fixed."

"She didn’t reschedule the appointment, then?"

"No need to." Gloria leaned against the doorjamb. "Listen, I’ve been thinking I’d send William a video as an icebreaker. I mean, Valentine’s Day is coming up next week, so I’d like to get something going with him by then."

Interesting. Amanda wouldn’t have thought Gloria gave a damn about Valentine’s Day. It was all about mushy love, not the kind of hot sex Gloria preferred.

"Don’t look so surprised," Gloria said. "I celebrate Valentine’s Day. I’m more into crotchless lace panties than little lace hearts, but I don’t like the idea of spending that night alone any more than other women do." She paused. "I guess that’s your fate, though, isn’t it?"

"I won’t be alone," Amanda said.

"Oh, that’s right. You have that bartending job at Geekland. See, there’s another reason you have the background to advise me about William. You serve drinks to nerds five nights a week."

"Six."

"Six? Really? When do you study?"

"After work."

"When do you sleep?"

"After I study."

"Amanda, I don’t know how you do it, but you’re obviously used to that routine, and I suppose it keeps you from feeling quite so frustrated about your lack of a sex life. So, what do you think of me sending William a video?"

"You’d send it to his office?"

"Why not? They’re all adults down at Cooper and Scott. And I don’t have his home address."

"I think… it might be a little bit inappropriate." Amanda wondered if Gloria had any concept of what constituted appropriate behavior.

"Okay, I’ll send it to his home, then. You can find out later where he lives. Come in and help me pick one out. We don’t have time for me to show you complete videos, so I’ll fast-forward to the juicy parts."

No! This is so unfair! "I don’t know that I’m the one to suggest—"

"You most certainly are the one. I want your nerd mentality on this project. If we don’t find exactly the right one, I may have to send you shopping again. After all, we have store credit."

"But what about the client evaluations? I still have a pile to type up before tomorrow."

"Take them home, for God’s sake. You’ll be up all night, anyway, so you can do them then. Come on into the office and take a look at these videos."

Short of refusing to do what Gloria asked or faking a sudden case of stomach flu, Amanda couldn’t figure out a way not to view a selection of videos with her boss. After about forty minutes of that, she was not in a good mood. A woman who had sworn off sex for the duration should not be forced to watch approximately twenty-six orgasms in a row, not that she’d been counting or anything.

"You don’t think any of these are right for William, then?" Gloria hit the pause button at a strategic point, when the well-endowed actor was in mid-thrust.

"I don’t know, Gloria." Amanda looked away from the screen and told herself that such activities were highly overrated. A degree and a job, now those were things worth sacrificing for. "If it were me, I wouldn’t send him one to begin with."

"What, then?"

"Nothing. I would send him nothing."

Gloria blew out a breath. "That’s ridiculous. I can’t get anywhere by next week if I don’t plant some ideas in his head. I know what. Go back to the G-Spot and browse around. Find something you think he would like that invites sexual feelings. If it has a valentine theme, so much the better."

Amanda felt the trap closing in. "Maybe this is something you need to do yourself."

"No, I’m convinced you’ll have a better idea of what a guy like William would get excited about. I don’t need you in the office right now, and you’ll be typing the evaluations tonight, so take as long as you need."

"But—"

"Go on, now. I have clients due in five minutes and I have to check my inventory of nipple clips. I think I’m low, so pick up a few pairs while you’re out."

Someday, Amanda told herself, she’d be a graduate student at Harvard specializing in adolescent psychology. Someday her world would not be dominated by Gloria Tredway and her nipple clips and vibrators and feathers and velvet ropes. In the meantime, she had to find William a sexy present that might have some vague connection to Valentine’s Day.

Going to her desk, she pulled out the drawer where she kept her purse. But as she reached for it, she noticed a white square envelope lying on top of it. AMANDA was printed in block letters on the front. Instinctively she glanced up to see if Gloria was in the doorway watching. She wasn’t.

Snatching both her purse and the envelope out of the drawer, she hurried over to grab her coat. The envelope obviously contained some sort of card, and the block letters on the outside looked like a man’s handwriting. If Gloria hadn’t mentioned Valentine’s Day just now, Amanda might have wondered what was in the envelope. But now she thought she knew.

Worse yet, she could guess who’d put that envelope in her desk. He’d had ample time when she wasn’t there. If Gloria found out that William had sent Amanda a valentine, the shit would really hit the fan.

She waited until she was outside the building before she opened the card. The rain had stopped, but an icy wind slapped her face and blew off her hood. She turned her back to the wind and pulled out… a valentine, sure enough. Two white kittens on the outside were playing with a ball of red yarn, and the unrolled end was looped into a series of little hearts. Above the picture was the inscription, You’re too cute, Valentine.

Had William actually gone to the drugstore half a block from the office building and picked out this card? She braced herself and opened it. The message inside said Let’s play around. And it was signed Your Secret Valentine.

Amanda groaned. This was even more embarrassing than she’d thought. How was she supposed to react to something like this? Did he think she’d guess and respond in some way? She’d made her position clear, yet here was this cutesy valentine with a vaguely sexual reference inside.

The card was so not her type, just as William was not her type. She didn’t care whether he had big thumbs or not. Sneaking into her office and leaving a fairly unimaginative card with kittens on the front was a dumb way to pursue a woman. A single red rose in a crystal vase with elegantly embossed stationery—now that might get her attention.

Or it would have, if she weren’t so involved with work and school. At least the kitten card was something she could ignore. That’s exactly what she would do. Ignore it. Pretend it had never happened.

Passing a trash can, she tossed the valentine inside. For a brief moment she felt guilty. He’d probably meant well, even if he didn’t have good taste in cards or the slightest idea how to be romantic. But he had taken the time to buy her that card, and she’d blithely thrown it away.

Then she told herself not to be stupid. She didn’t want William in her life, and keeping the card might backfire in some way, especially if Gloria ever found out. William needed to get the message that she wasn’t interested. That would save trouble on her part and humiliation on his.

Maybe she should put some real thought into this gift Gloria had sent her to buy. If Gloria succeeded in snagging William’s attention, Amanda wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. He’d be off her conscience.

Harvey Kenton watched from a Starbucks across the street as Amanda walked out of her office building carrying the card. Excitement churned in his stomach, like on his first date with Louise when she’d begged to do it doggie style. Louise had looked decent back then, but marriage had sure changed her. Now she was fat, ugly, and oversexed. Worse than that, she was making him go to stupid therapy, which he certainly didn’t need.

Amanda wasn’t fat and ugly. Even time he looked at her, he could tell she was thinking about him, probably thinking about him nak*d. He liked to think about her nak*d, too. She was so hot.

And now he’d made his first real contact with her, not counting the times he’d said hello on his way into Dr. Tred-way’s office. Those times he’d been sort of careful how he spoke to her, because of Louise, but he’d managed to get in a wink or two. He liked the idea of putting one over on Louise. She had it coming.

If only he could see the expression on Amanda’s face when she opened the card, but he was too far away. Expressions could tell you a lot. He could always tell from Louise’s expression when she was getting mad. She could be kind of scary when she got mad, but kind of exciting, too. Usually he hated hav**g s*x with Louise, but when she was mad it wasn’t quite so yucky.

But he couldn’t see Amanda’s expression, especially because this late in the afternoon on a cloudy day, there wasn’t much light. Bringing a pair of binoculars to Starbucks and using them to spy on somebody across the street would probably get the management on his case. He didn’t want to get anybody on his case.

Maybe he could tell something from her body language. She took her time opening the card. He hoped she liked the kitties on the front. She liked little hummingbirds, and kitties were even cuter. He’d seen the card and thought about Amanda, all soft and cuddly. Or she would be, once he got her alone.

He had most of it planned. First he’d send her a bunch of valentines to get her in the mood. Then on Valentine’s Night he’d sneak into her apartment and carry her off, just like in the movies. She might scream at first, and he hadn’t worked out what to do about that.

The screaming wouldn’t go on long, though, because once she recognized that he was her secret valentine, she’d be happy. He’d use the Mercedes as the getaway car. That should impress her, and it had a great back seat.

He gazed at her standing on the sidewalk and thought about how great it would be, undressing her on that back seat. She would love that. She must have liked the kitties he’d sent her, too, because she stared at them for a long time. She looked cold out there in the wind. He could warm her up fast, but it wasn’t time for that, yet. First he had to lay the groundwork.

Amanda had stopped looking at the outside of the card and was finally opening it. He had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing as he thought about what the inside of the card said. Let’s play around.

The minute he’d read that, he’d known it was the perfect card to start with. He’d bet Amanda would love to play around. She always looked as if she could hardly wait to get free of Dr. Tredway. He wouldn’t mind getting free of Dr. Tredway, himself, except Louise had said she’d divorce him if he stopped going to stupid therapy.

A divorce wouldn’t be so good. He’d been forced to sign a pre-nup, so he wouldn’t get any of Louise’s money. That would mean going back to the assembly line at the feminine products factory, and he was never doing that again. He’d put up with Louise forever if it meant he didn’t have to go back to work.

At first Harvey had hated the idea of sex therapy, but that was before he’d seen Amanda looking so sexy as she sat at the desk in the front office. She had great hooters. She always smiled at him, and her voice was low and sweet, as if she’d like to tell him how much she craved his body, but she didn’t dare.