Nerds Like It Hot (Nerds, #6)(15)
Author: Vicki Lewis Thompson

Gillian looked up to discover that standing right beside Cora’s chair was the professor in the brochure … sort of. His tweed jacket with suede elbow patches and his black turtleneck sweater made him look the part of a scholar. His hair was still jet black, but there was considerably less of it. With luck Cora would find his comb-over endearing.

Assuming Cora had no problem with the hair or with the wrinkles that had been airbrushed out of the brochure picture, Gillian could only see one other relationship challenge—a vertical one. Cora was at least five seven. Dr. Lawrence might be five feet even if you counted the comb-over.

To Cora’s credit, she didn’t register even an eye flicker of surprise to find that her hunk was vertically challenged. "I can hardly wait for the stargazing," she said. "Are we lucky enough to be sharing your table for this cruise?"

"Actually, I’ll be the lucky one if you’ll all allow me to join you. I was assigned to a different table, but as you might have noticed, the second seating isn’t completely filled, so adjustments can be made. I was bewitched by seeing this lovely lady in her gold dress and I asked to be moved. That is, if you’re willing to have me."

Cora seemed to drop ten years in an instant. "Of course we’re willing to have you! Sit down right here next to me, you charming man. Tell us all about what we’re going to see tonight."

The professor laughed as he took his seat. "Stars," he said. "You’re going to see lots and lots of stars." He glanced around the table. "My name is Benjamin Lawrence. You’ve all heard of Big Ben. People call me Little Ben."

"All those brains and a sense of humor, too." Cora was all smiles.

Gillian had never seen Cora so excited. Obviously she’d been pining for male companionship, and she wasn’t going to let a lack of hair and height keep her from enjoying what was offered. Gillian was sentimental enough to want to find out if tonight led to something permanent, but of course she wouldn’t have that luxury.

Still, she could enjoy this moment with Cora. "I think we need another champagne glass," she said.

"Or maybe another whole bottle," said a red-haired woman in green sequins who came up behind Dante. "This definitely looks like the fun table. I saw the professor make the move, so I decided to follow in his footsteps. Would you mind terribly if I joined you, as well?"

Cora waved her hand expansively. "Why not? The more, the merrier."

Eleven

NEIL HOPED HE HADN’T COME ON THIS DORKY CRUISE for no good reason. If the mousy little makeup artist was sitting back in L.A. thinking about whether or not to call the cops, or worse yet had actually called the cops, then he was in deep shit. In any case, she didn’t appear to be with Cora.

Maybe she was seasick and holed up in their shared cabin. That possibility made him feel a little better. He’d hate to think he’d surrounded himself with nerds and crammed himself into a tiny room with Bernice June Thig-pen for nothing. And speaking of BJ, here she came. Couldn’t make it on her own, apparently.

She approached the table hesitantly, but she kept looking at the Italian guy with the big brown eyes and the horrendous haircut. Get that boy to a decent salon and buy him some designer clothes and he’d be stylin’. He had a smidgen of good taste, because he’d already given Nancy the once-over. Neil could take him on, but if BJ wanted him, that was okay, too.

BJ stood beside the table clutching her nametag, which still read Bernice Thigpen, unfortunately. "Nance? I saw you change tables. Is that allowed?"

The blonde in the red dress spoke up. "It seems to be fine. Would you like to sit here?"

BJ nodded. "If it’s okay. Nance and I are roommates, but somehow we didn’t get assigned to the same table."

"Then by all means." The tall guy sitting next to the blonde stood and held a chair for BJ.

From the way BJ kept glancing over at the Italian, she would rather have had him hold her chair, but logistics were against it. Neil was pleased with the chivalry displayed, though. The miniprof had held Nancy’s chair for her. Neil had tried vamping him a little bit, just for the practice, but the old guy seemed mesmerized by Cora.

Neil could understand it. She looked damned good for her age. He calculated she had to be at least late seventies, if not early eighties. His grandfather had known her back in her prime when she’d been good friends with Marilyn. Now those were the days. The blonde must be trying to relive it all. Maybe she was an impersonator, although what a Marilyn impersonator was doing on this cruise was beyond him.

Time to find out who Cora’s buddies were. "I think we should do an introduction thing around the table and tell a little bit about ourselves," he said. "I’ll start. I’m Nancy Roth, and I live in L.A. I came on this cruise because I was curious. BJ, you go next."

"I’m Bernice … I mean, BJ Thigpen, and I live in San Jose. I’m a computer programmer, and I have a cat named Steve Jobs, and I used to play the flute, but I haven’t done that in a while, so I couldn’t call it my hobby, but—"

"That gives us a really good picture of you, BJ." Neil didn’t want this to take all night, for Christ’s sake.

"A cat named Steve Jobs." The Italian guy grinned. "Apple Computers. I get it. That’s really cute."

"And what about you?" Neil asked. "What are you all about?"

"I’m Dante Fiorello, and I live in L.A. My partner and I—that’s him over there, Lex Manchester—we run an exterminating company called Bobbie’s Bug Thugs. We, uh, inherited the business from Lex’s dad, Bobbie Manchester."

"That’s so interesting," BJ said. "Do you use environmentally friendly methods? Because I’ve heard about all these innovations, and you just look like the kind of people who would do that."

"Oh, yeah," Dante said. "We’re all about the environment. Right, Lex?"

"Right." Lex waved a hand at Cora. "Why don’t you go next? Nobody needs to hear from me. Dante’s already given the pertinent info. And you’re way more interesting."

Cora beamed at him. "I don’t know about that, but here goes. I’m Cora Bledsoe, and I—"

"I knew it!" Neil slathered on the adulation. "I knew you were Cora Bledsoe! I simply love your movies!"

"Cora Bledsoe!" The professor pulled back to look at her more closely. "That’s why you looked so familiar to me. I’ve been trying to place you all night. I thought you might have been one of my students, but instead you’re a movie star!"

"A minor one." Cora fluttered her eyelashes.

"Don’t even suggest such a thing," Neil said. "You were right up there with the rest of them—Harlow, Grable, Monroe." He turned to the blonde. "Which brings us to you, speaking of Monroe. I suppose everyone says you look like her."

The blonde seemed uncomfortable. "Actually, that’s a good thing. I’m … I’m training to be a Marilyn impersonator. My stage name’s Norma Jean."

Neil wanted more info. "What’s your real name?"

"Janice. Janice Collins."

"But we all call her Norma Jean," Cora said. "You know, like Cher. Well, except not exactly like Cher, because that’s one name, one syllable, whereas Norma Jean is two names, three syllables, but you get the idea."

"She used to be Cher Bono, though," BJ said.

"Nobody thinks about that now," Cora said. "Anyway, to help her stay in character, we call her Norma Jean."

The blonde nodded. "Right."

Neil sensed something else going on, and he was going to find out what it was, eventually. But he’d drop it for now. He had some time. Until the ship docked in Mexico, nobody was going anywhere.

JUST BEFORE DESSERT WAS SERVED, THE WAITERS Removed all the centerpieces. Cora said it was strange, but Gillian had never been on a cruise before, so she didn’t think anything of it.

"It’s almost as if they think we’ll steal part of it," Cora said. "That’s insulting."

"They wouldn’t have to worry about me stealing anything from that centerpiece," Nancy said. "But I’m not too sure about the folks at that table where I started out. They were in love with the stuff in there. When I left they were using the slide rule to calculate the exact dimensions of the table and figure out if the place settings were equidistant from each other."

BJ brightened. "What a great idea! I wish I’d thought of it, and now it’s too late."

"If you want to do it tomorrow night, I’ll see if I can scare up a slide rule," Dante said.

Gillian glanced at him to see if he was kidding, but he seemed perfectly sincere. If she didn’t know better, she’d think that Dante was trying to make points with BJ, and yet BJ was so obviously a nerd, not Dante’s type at all. Maybe he was just trying to play his part really well.

If so, she felt a little sorry for BJ, who seemed like a sweet person who didn’t deserve to have her heart messed with. As Gillian was making up her mind to say something about that to Dante at the first opportunity, a pudgy man in a too-small navy blazer came into the dining room holding a cordless microphone.

"I’m Jared Stevenson the Third, your cruise director," he said. "Welcome to the Sea Goddess!

"Oh, joy," Cora muttered. "A word from Mr. Pomposity himself."

"We have lots of fun and games planned for you." Jared obviously loved having the limelight. "Some of you have already enjoyed the dyn**ite karaoke bar, and later tonight we’ll have an astronomy lecture and starlight trivia quiz on the upper deck with our resident expert, Dr. Benjamin Lawrence. We’ll be turning out all the lights for this one, so don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!" At that he paused to laugh at his own joke.

In the silence, he eventually stopped laughing and cleared his throat. "Moving right along, your waiters are coming around with pencil and paper for each of you. You may have noticed that the centerpieces have disappeared. This is a memory and observation test. Write down all the things you can remember from that centerpiece. Those who get them all will win a free couples massage!"

"Yikes," Dante said. "I wasn’t paying much attention. And that sounds like a fun prize."

"I think I remember most of it," BJ said. Dante winked at her. "Can I copy off you?" She laughed. "No!"

"Then when you get the prize, will you share?"

"Maybe." BJ’s cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.

Gillian made a decision. She’d talk to Dante and get him to stop leading poor BJ on. It wasn’t fair to her.

Meanwhile, she needed to see how many items out of the centerpiece she could remember. Being a makeup artist gave her an eye for detail and she’d been impressed with the creative centerpieces. Picking up her pencil, she began to list what she could. Just in time she remembered to label her paper with the name Norma Jean.

"Time’s up!" Jared said. "Picking up the papers, now!"

Gillian handed her paper to the waiter and glanced over at Lex. "How’d you do?"

"We’ll see."

"Well, I’m sure I didn’t win," Cora said. "I’m terrible at that stuff."

"Me, too," Little Ben said with a sigh.

"Oh, who cares?" Nancy said. "It’s not that big a deal."

"It would be for me," BJ said. "I’ve never had a massage at all, let alone a couples massage."

Gillian found herself getting excited as Jared started reading off the names of those who had guessed all the items. BJ’s name was the first one read from their table. Gillian watched BJ blush and glance over at Dante, who smiled back at her. Uh-oh. This was developing into a genuine problem.

When Gillian heard Norma Jean called, she didn’t react right away, and then she realized it was her. She was overjoyed to have won, which was sort of silly, because she wasn’t on this cruise to win massages. And it was a couples massage, besides.

She could give it to Cora and Ben, of course. Except she didn’t want to. Naughty girl that she was, she wanted to enjoy it with Lex.

He might not be game, though. She had a feeling that would be another thing out of his comfort zone. She leaned toward him and lowered her voice. "Will you do it with me?"

His gaze met hers. "It’s probably a bad idea." "I know. Let’s do it anyway." Heat flared in his eyes. "I’ll think about it." "You do that."

LEX COULDN’T IMAGINE ANYTHING MORE DANGEROUS to his libido than sharing a couples massage with Gillian. But if he refused, he’d look exactly like the uptight guy she might think he was. He hadn’t been willing to sing a duet with her, so if he opted out of the massage, too, she’d probably give up on him. And that would be a good thing.

He debated the matter internally all through dessert, and by the time everyone had headed to the upper deck for the astronomy lecture, he still wasn’t sure what to do. But he couldn’t think about it anymore. His job at the moment was guarding Gillian.

But wait. Wasn’t that why he had to do the couples massage? He couldn’t let her go alone, could he? What if she chose someone else? No telling who she might end up with. So it was his duty to go. That decided, he surveyed the area that would be used for the lecture.

The deck had been arranged with rows of lounge chairs set up in pairs, and notebooks had been placed on all the chairs. A large screen was positioned just below the ship’s bridge.

Not all the passengers had shown up for the stargazing program, which made him nervous. Unaccounted-for passengers meant people could be lurking around, people who had an agenda, like getting rid of Gillian. Lex said as much to Dante while everyone was milling around the deck.

Cora had volunteered to be Ben’s assistant during the lecture and she stood next to him, Natasha to his Boris. Gillian was over talking to BJ, and Nancy Roth had taken off for the ladies’ room. That left Dante and Lex alone for a few minutes.

"I wouldn’t worry about the lack of participation," Dante said. "I think it’s par for the course when it comes to nerds."

"But they paid for this. You’d think they’d want to take advantage of everything."

"Just the ones who’ve found somebody they’re interested in. We have only couples up here, if you notice. I’m thinking nerds are slow to couple up." Dante took off his jacket. "I don’t know about you, but without the benefit of air-conditioning, my jacket is both ugly and hot."