Nerds Like It Hot (Nerds, #6)(16)
Author: Vicki Lewis Thompson

"Good point." Lex took his off, too. "What do you think of Nancy Roth?"

"She’s one hot female. She gave me the eye a couple of times."

"And you’re not going to do anything about it, right?" Dante looked offended. "Well, I couldn’t, now, could I?" "I’m glad you realize that."

"I mean, it wouldn’t be fair. She’s a juicy woman who came on this cruise because she wants to get herself hooked up with a nerd."

"She didn’t say that." Something about Nancy bothered Lex, but he couldn’t decide what it was. "She said she was curious."

"Like Cora said a while ago, nobody’s going to admit they came on this cruise to find a soul mate, especially not somebody as together as Nancy. But why else is she here?"

Lex nodded. "That’s my question."

"She wants a nerd, that’s why. The ship is lousy with them, but I don’t happen to be one. She probably thinks I have this great nerdy business going on, Bobbie’s Bug Thugs. She’d be crushed to find out I’m a dashing PI without a nerd bone in my body."

"Yeah, I’m sure she’d be devastated."

"Besides, Nancy doesn’t do it for me. She’s hot, and I can imagine taking her to bed for one night of sweaty sex, but that would be the end of it. Nothing long-range going on there. So, um … what do you think of BJ?"

Something in Dante’s tone put Lex on alert. "Why?"

"Well, Gillian’s already landed into me because she thinks I’m leading BJ on. I’m sure Gillian’s over there this very minute warning BJ about me."

"Now that you mention it, you have been leading BJ on, and I’m glad Gillian said something. BJ seems like a really nice person, and she’s not your type."

"Are you saying nice people aren’t my type? Thanks a whole hell of a lot. Remind me to put crackers in your bed tonight."

Lex rolled his eyes. "A nice person could be your type, but not a nerdy nice person. You’ve never dated anyone like that in your life."

"Could have been a mistake on my part."

"But Dante, you just said that women come on this cruise looking for a nerd. That’s BJ, too, right? Wouldn’t she also be disappointed to discover you’re a dashing PI?"

"I don’t think BJ came on the cruise looking for a nerd. I think she’s looking for a guy, period. I don’t think she’s had a lot of experience, and that turns me on."

Lex cleared his throat. "There’s another issue. I don’t know how to put this delicately, but in the past you’ve been all about hooters."

"Yeah, I know." Dante gazed dreamily off into the distance where there was nothing but black ocean and the frothy wake of the ship illuminated by the cabin lights. "Weird, huh? I don’t think I’ve never gone for a flat-chested woman before, but there’s something about BJ. I mean, she named her cat after the guy who founded Apple. How cute is that?"

"I didn’t know you knew who founded Apple."

"You told me. You said it was your job to educate me. Trust me, all my nerdy knowledge I owe to you. And that reminds me, why didn’t you win that couples massage tiling? I know you had the centerpiece list nailed. I expected you to win and even get bonus points."

Lex lowered his voice. "I cheated."

"In reverse?"

"Exactly. I was hoping Gillian wouldn’t try for it, but as luck would have it, she did, and she won."

Dante grinned. "And you’ll have to sacrifice yourself and do the couples massage with her. Am I right?"

"I don’t know how else to handle it. I can’t let her go in there alone, and I definitely can’t let her go in there with another guy."

"Of course not. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it. I’m impressed with your dedication, buddy. I really am." "Go to hell, Dante."

"I always thought that would be my ultimate destination, but looking at BJ over there, I’m not so sure anymore. I might be salvageable."

"What are you saying?"

Dante scratched the back of his head. "Have you ever heard guys say that they met somebody, and bam, that was it?"

"Yeah, and I always thought it was a load of bull." If he’d had any slight reaction like that to Gillian, he’d crushed it. They had no future.

"I thought it was bull, too." Dante turned to look at BJ. "But now I’m not so sure."

"I take it you’re pairing up with her for this lecture?"

"I am. And I think it could turn out to be a romantic evening, unless …"

"Unless what?"

"Unless this old guy doesn’t know how to pronounce Uranus."

TECHNICALLY, NEIL HAD BEEN SHIELDED FROM THE family business while he was growing up. His mother hadn’t wanted him to understand the work his father was involved in, or, later on, the work his stepfather was doing. But what his mother didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

As a teenager Neil had acquired all sorts of specialized knowledge from people indebted to his father. For example, he knew how to get into any locked room, including the key-card type. By paying close attention during dinner, he’d overheard Cora telling the professor her room number.

He still wasn’t sure whether he’d find Gillian McCormick in Cora’s stateroom. The blonde who called herself Norma Jean might, in fact, be Gillian in disguise. She hadn’t answered right away when her name had been called for the centerpiece quiz contest. Norma Jean was obviously an alias, but whether her real name turned out to be Gillian remained to be seen.

The hallway on C Deck was deserted, but Neil wasn’t worried even if it hadn’t been. He was a passenger with a nametag. On this first night of the cruise, anyone could be forgiven for getting confused and going to the wrong room. And passengers weren’t familiar with who was on their deck at this point. Nobody would question him.

His heart raced as he neared Cora’s room. If Gillian was in there, it would be the end of her. He had a small vial of ether and a hanky in his evening bag, and he would use that to knock her out. After that, he’d simply strangle her.

Cora’s room was located right next to a double door leading out to a promenade. With a little luck, Neil could get her out those doors and over the side into the water. She would simply disappear.

Getting the door open took a little more effort than he would have liked. He was out of practice. But finally it yielded, and he held his breath, listening for any signs of occupancy. He wanted to hear those sounds, because it would mean he could finish this and get on with his life. Quietly he pulled on a pair of surgical gloves he’d tucked in Nancy’s sequined evening bag.

But the room was silent. Closing the door behind him, he stepped inside a room slightly bigger than his, but arranged in a similar way. From the evidence of clothes in the closet and makeup in the bathroom, two women lived here, not one.

He began going through drawers, looking for something, anything that would help him identify that second woman. And there, at the bottom of one dresser drawer, was a passport. He opened it and saw a picture of the person he’d expected to find on this cruise. True, passport photos never showed anyone to advantage. Nancy’s was hideous, and Nancy was so gorgeous that she could stop construction if she walked past a building site.

In any case, this washed-out photograph of a longhaired brunette, flattering or not, answered the question. Gillian McCormick was staying in this room. That meant she was somewhere on this ship, and she wasn’t cowering in the stateroom because of seasickness, either. She was out there somewhere, and he was going to find her.

As he rummaged through the drawers and closets, he found no clothes that would match up with the woman in the passport photo. Even the underwear was classy— some of Victoria’s Secret’s best. He should know. Nancy shopped there all the time.

That left him with one obvious conclusion. He was dealing with someone who had decided that she needed a makeover to confuse the issue. Cora Bledsoe was part of the Marilyn era. Rumors had it that she’d been a close friend and confidante of Monroe. If she’d helped Gillian with a plan, chances were she would have leaned toward a Marilyn disguise.

Neil checked the sizes on the dresses hanging in the closet. Those that had tags were a ten. Nancy wore a respectable size six, unless she bought something at Chico’s, in which case she was a zero. But Neil had heard that Marilyn had known how to pig out. That hourglass figure was legendary, but rumor had it that the legend had sometimes gone up to a size twelve.

Apparently Gillian McCormick had decided that it would be convenient to morph into La Monroe for the duration of the cruise. Neil didn’t mind so much. He was just glad to know who he was after—the blonde in the red dress, the one who had called herself Janice Collins, probably on the spur of the moment. She didn’t know he was right behind her, though, and that clashed with his flair for drama.

He liked the idea that she might get a little bit scared if she knew that she was being stalked. She was screwing up his life, so it was only right that he should screw up hers, or what was left of it. So he left the drawers in disarray and swiped her passport. Let her worry about that for a little while. She wouldn’t be needing it where she was going, anyway.

Letting himself back out of the room, he congratulated himself on a good night’s work. He deserved a reward, and he knew exactly where he could get one. In a suite up on A Deck, Jared Stevenson the Third was waiting. First Neil would stop by his room and freshen up.

While he was there, he’d pluck a few things from that giant basket Jared had provided. Apparently the man hadn’t realized how erotic his gift had been, but Neil would teach him. Jared had no idea what treats were in store for him tonight.

Twelve

GILLIAN KNEW THIS WASN’T A PLEASURE CRUISE FOR her, but when the ship’s crew turned out the lights and she found herself lying on a lounge chair right beside Lex, with a canopy of stars above her, she felt pleasure.

"Nobody looks at the stars anymore," she said.

"You can’t see them in L.A.," Lex murmured.

"That’s sort of funny, when you think about it. L.A. is full of stars, and they’re all human ones. You can’t see the stars in the sky. At least not anything like this."

"I don’t think I’ve ever seen the stars this bright," Lex said.

"Me, either." She slipped her glasses out of her evening purse and put them on. "That’s better. Now it doesn’t look so much like powdered sugar on a brownie."

He glanced over at her. "I hope you keep those glasses handy. There might be times it would be useful to see what the hell’s going on. Oh, and nice save at the dinner table, Janice."

"Janice Collins was one of my best friends in grade school. I figured I had to come up with something quick if I didn’t want to banded the name Gillian McCormick around."

"Which you don’t. But I’ll bet you can stick with Norma Jean for the rest of the cruise."

"I hope so. I’m already having an identity crisis." And she didn’t feel like talking about her perilous circumstances anymore. "Do you know anything about astronomy?"

"A little bit."

Gillian recognized humility when she heard it. She’d used it herself enough times so she wouldn’t seem to be a brainiac. "I’ll bet you know more than a little bit. I took it in college. Got an A, in fact."

"Me, too," he said in a low voice. "But don’t let that get around. I’m trying to keep Dante from labeling me a nerd."

"I wouldn’t care." She thought about telling him that she was basically a nerd, herself, that before Cora had transformed her into Norma Jean, she’d thought of herself as being on the frumpy side. But she couldn’t bring herself to say any of that. Putting on her glasses was as far as she was willing to go in spoiling her image.

After all, she was lying on this lounge chair in a vintage red gown that made her look like a sex goddess. Lex had already told her that the dress drove him crazy. She’d be dumb to sabotage the effect of the dress by thoroughly describing the nerd who was wearing it. Better to keep herself something of a mystery.

The professor’s voice sounded over the intercom. "Lift your eyes to the heavens, my fellow voyagers. Prepare to take a journey to the stars. On the way to the stars, we’ll pass the planets in our tiny galaxy. We’ll talk about the beauty of Venus, the wonders of Mars, the rings of Saturn, the mysteries of Uranus."

"Whoops, he said that wrong," she whispered. Nearby, she heard Dante’s muffled laughter. "It’s not exactly wrong," Lex said. "There are two versions."

"But one makes people laugh and one doesn’t."

"Correction. One makes Dante laugh. I swear his mental age is fourteen."

"Let’s begin with the North Star," the professor said. "Can anyone tell me where to look for it?"

"In the north?" Dante’s comment was followed by a slapping sound, as if someone had whacked him on the arm.

"Off the lip of the Big Dipper," BJ said.

"Try saying that ten times." Then Dante yelped. "Hey, she pinched me. And not in a loving way, either."

"Dante, behave yourself." Cora turned in Dante’s direction. "Don’t make me come over there."

"It’s okay, Cora," BJ said. "I’ll take care of him."

"Oh, I hope so," Dante crooned.

Gillian couldn’t see what was going on, but she was worried about BJ getting her heart broken. She turned on her side, so she could talk softly to Lex. "You know he’s flirting with her like crazy. That’s not fair if he’s not serious."

Lex turned on his side, too, which put them inches from each other. "Believe it or not, he told me he really thinks she might be the one."

His warm breath tickled her mouth. "Really?" She lost interest in the astronomy lecture as she realized how easy it would be to move her head a little closer to his and kiss those tempting lips.

"Yeah. But now is not the time. I don’t want him distracted by sex."

"I suppose not." Gillian understood the implication.

Dante wasn’t supposed to be distracted by the pleasures of the flesh, and neither was Lex. She turned onto her back again and gazed up at the diamond-bright sky.

It would be fantastic to make love up here on deck under a sky like this. Well, that would only be true if you were the one on the bottom and could look up and see it. The one on top would miss the view. Or maybe, to keep things fair, you could alternate.