Never Judge a Lady by Her Cover (Page 105)

He closed the door, locking it in a single motion.

She looked up at the sound of key in lock, her gaze finding his, shock in her eyes as she shot out of her chair.

She was wearing trousers again.

“Duncan,” she said.

“Bourne is here,” he said.

Her brow furrowed, and it took her a moment to understand what exactly he meant by the words. “I —” She stopped. “Oh.”

“Tell me,” he said, and it occurred to him that the night prior, he’d spoken the same words to her, hoping she would finally tell him that she loved him.

Now he would simply settle for the truth.

When she did not reply, he repeated himself. “Tell me.” The words came out harsh, nearly broken. When she shook her head, he repeated himself, the words coming on a near-shout, “Tell me!”

There were tears in her eyes, in those beautiful amber eyes that he had marveled at so many times. He wondered what the tears were for – if they were because he’d discovered her secrets, or if they were because she realized that a betrayal of this size would be impossible to forgive.

That a secret of this magnitude changed everything.

She opened her mouth. Closed it.

“Duncan,” she whispered. “I was not ready for you to know.”

“Know what?” he asked. And he commanded her a final time. “Tell me. Say it. For once in our lives, tell me the truth.”

She nodded, and he watched her throat work as she searched for the words. Not many words. Three of them. Utterly simple and somehow tremendously complicated.

Finally, she met his gaze, unwavering. And spoke.

“I am Chase.”

He was quiet for so long, she thought he might never speak.

A dozen possibilities rioted through her, every one a question. But when he did speak, it was not a question, but a statement, filled with disbelief and awe and something else that she hesitated to name. “I was so damn jealous of him.”

She did not know what to say when he ran a hand through his hair and continued, “I thought he owned you. I couldn’t understand why you were so committed to him. Why you protected him so well. I couldn’t understand why you fell into my arms even as you chose him, time and time again.”

“I didn’t choose him,” she said.

He met her eyes. “You chose this place.”

“No,” she said, wanting him to understand. Wanting him to see. “I chose safety. Security.”

“I could have given that to you,” he said, the words coming out like rolling thunder. “Christ, Georgiana, I wanted to give it to you. All you had to do was trust me.”

“Why would I do that?” she asked, suddenly desperate for him to understand. She came out from behind the desk. “I’ve spent my life around dangerous men… and you might well have been the most dangerous one of all.”

“Me?” he asked, the word incredulous. “From the moment we met, I offered you help.”

“No,” she said. “You offered Georgiana help, but once you discovered her connection to the Angel, once you discovered that I was also Anna, you offered me a trade.”

He stilled.

She knew she should not punish him for it – knew she had done far worse – but she could not stop herself. Feeling defensive, she said, “Tit for tat, Duncan. And a threat to reveal my secrets.” She shook her head. “I was party to the deal, no doubt. But do not for a moment think I have not learned in all my years as Chase that business is not friendship. And that trust is not a part of business.”

“This hasn’t been business for a long time,” he said.

She knew that, of course. Knew, too, that this might be the only time she was ever able to tell the truth.

And she wanted it to be him who heard it.

She leaned against the desk, placing her palms flat to the top of it. “I wanted to be something more than what they made me.” She paused, trying to find the words to explain. “Do you recall the house in Yorkshire?” He nodded. “There were so many of us there… so many of us who had run. Who had found the strength to defy expectations.” She shook her head. “I was the weakest by far, and I could afford to be. When I left – when I returned home – I saw the way the world looked at me. At us. And I hated them for it. I wanted to do something tremendously powerful… something that would hold them under my thumb, these people who talked propriety and lived sin and vice when they closed their doors.

“At first, it was for revenge. I wanted to punish anyone who crossed me. Who dared insult Caroline. I wanted to murder gossip and kill ton. A casino was the ideal place for all of that. Decadence, sin, vice – they make for excellent partners in vengeance.”

He smiled. “And then you realized you weren’t God.”

She raised her brows. “No, then I realized I did not wish to be God. I wished to be something very different. I wished to reign over them. I wished them to be in debt to me, with secrets and money and whatever else they wanted to put on the table.”

“And Chase was born.”

“My brother put up the money for the club, helped me choose my partners.” She smiled. “Bourne and Temple came first, and I’ll never forget the look in their eyes when my security guards tossed them into my carriage, and I introduced myself.” She paused. “Bourne called me any number of names before he settled down and realized that what I offered was really quite magnificent.”

“Ownership in a men’s club.”

She shook her head. “Resurrection from the gutter. He’d lost everything. Temple, too. I could give them a chance to rebuild. I did not need the money… I needed the titles. The faces. The skills they brought to the table.”