Out of Mind (Out of Line #3)(14)
Author: Jen McLaughlin

I jumped, my heart racing. Would I ever stop panicking when someone walked up behind me? Or would I forever be the scared, pansy-ass, shell of a man I’d once been? “Yeah. I can’t open it, ma’am.”

She approached slowly, as if uncertain of her welcome. “I’ll open it for you.”

“Thank you,” I said, holding it out to her. “I appreciate that.”

Senator Wallington followed her into the room, his blue eyes locked on mine. As his wife opened my pain meds, he grabbed an unopened bottle of Aquafina off the bar. My half-eaten turkey sandwich was still there, too. “You’ll need this opened, too, I presume?”

I licked my parched lips. I’d rather have a stiff drink, but the water would look better in front of them. God knew I already looked bad enough. “Yes, please, sir.”

He twisted the lid off and handed it to me. “You doing all right? Mixing alcohol and pills is generally discouraged.”

“I’m fine.” In a half an hour or so, I’d be feeling even better. I set the water down. Next, I took the pill from Carrie’s mom and popped it in my mouth, watching him the whole time. “Sorry about earlier.”

“It’s all right.” He sat down and crossed an ankle over a knee. “What time is your father expected back? It’s getting nasty out there.”

“I’m not sure. I called him a few times, but he’s not answering.” I shifted on my feet, blinking when the room spun. Weird. I didn’t remember it doing that before. “I might have to go out and look for him. Maybe Carrie knows where he went.”

“Where who went?” Carrie asked, her voice tight. “Sit down, Finn. You look dizzy.”

I wasn’t dizzy. I was f**king high. But I sat down anyway. She came to my side and curled her hand with mine, holding on tight. She seemed freaked out by something. “My dad. It’s getting bad out there, and he isn’t answering his phone.”

“We can go look for him if you want,” she said quickly. “He went to Target.”

I nodded. “Let’s go. I’m worried he’ll—”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Senator Wallington said, his eyes on Carrie. For a second, I’d thought he was talking to me. “We’ll send out security in an all-terrain vehicle. You’re not going out in this mess in your Volvo.”

“I’ll go,” I said.

“No, you won’t. If you go, she’ll go.” Senator Wallington arched a brow at me. “Do you really want her out in this?”

I looked out the window, squinting. It looked blurry. “I guess not…”

“That’s what I thought.” Senator Wallington smoothed his suit jacket. “I’ll send Cortez and another man.”

“Hugh, are you sure we should make them go out in this?” Carrie’s mom asked, her voice worried. “It’s getting pretty dark out there, and the roads are bound to be treacherous.”

“All the more reason that we need to find Larry,” Carrie said, her voice insistent. “I can do it. I’ll be—”

“No,” Senator Wallington snarled. “Absolutely not.”

“Hugh. We need to—”

“Someone needs to go,” Carrie insisted.

“Enough of this!” I shouted, heading for the door. I stumbled on my second step. “You can argue about who should go. I’m going before it’s too late to get out of here.”

Carrie rushed after me. “You can’t drive. You’re…you’re…” She paused, and I could see her arguing with herself how best to get me to listen. She should just say it. You’re drunk. Say it, Carrie, say it. “Your arm is in a sling, so you won’t be able to control the vehicle if it slips.”

She didn’t say it.

“I don’t care, Carrie. He’s my dad.” I yanked the door open. “I’m not losing him, too.”

“Not losing who?” Dad asked, blinking at me. He looked past me, no doubt seeing Carrie, Senator Wallington, and Mrs. Wallington all hovering in the doorway. “What did I miss?”

“You,” I snapped, curling my hand around the knob so tight it hurt. “What did you need that was so important you had to drive in the snow?”

“My medicine,” Dad said calmly. He held up a prescription bag and shook it under my nose. “I knew the weather was going to get worse, so I figured it was now or never. I chose now.”

“I don’t know what medicine was worth risking your life over.” I snatched the bag and struggled to pull out the orange pill bottle. I scanned the pill name before looking at Dad with a hollow pain in my chest. I recognized the name of the meds, damn it. “Why are you taking this? What aren’t you telling me?”

“My heart is acting up.” Dad took his medication back and dropped it into the bag. “It’s not a huge surprise. Your grandfather had issues, too.”

“Yeah. I remember.” I swallowed hard. It was all coming together now. “And he died of a heart attack. Did you have a heart attack? Is that why you didn’t come to California when the senator did?”

Dad flushed. “Yes.”

Anger rushed through me, red-hot and burning everything in its path. It collided with the ice-cold fear also coursing through my veins, creating a monstrous storm within me. “And you didn’t tell me because…?”

“Can I at least come inside before you ask me a million questions?” He huddled into his coat, his bright red cheeks looking chafed. “I’m freezing.”

I hadn’t even realized I still stood in the doorway with the door wide open, blocking his entry. I backed out of it and looked over my shoulder. Carrie’s parents were gone, but Carrie still stood there. She looked unsure of her welcome. I met her eyes. “Did you know about this?”

“I didn’t know, but I suspected.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t have confirmation. We were going to talk to him today, remember?”

I nodded once. “Yeah. I remember. You didn’t remind me, though, like you promised you would.”

“I’m sorry. I—”

“Can we talk in my room, son?” Dad came inside and closed the door, looking at me with disappointment clear in his blue eyes. “I’m exhausted.”

“Of course.” I forgot all about being pissed he didn’t tell me about his illness. He looked even paler than he’d been, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was acting as if he was feeling much better than he actually was. You know, like me. “Let’s go. Did you eat dinner?”