Providence

Jared breathed out through his nose, trying to be patient with my suggestion. “Nina, no one but the Almighty tel s Gabriel anything.”

My shoulders sunk. “So now we’re fighting demons and angels? How did we sink into this mess?”

“I shouldn’t have sat on that bench.”

I touched his face. “You sitting on that bench is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Jared recoiled from my touch. “You don’t know what you’re saying. You have no idea what I’ve caused. Shax won’t stop until he has the book, and even then there’s a good chance he’l retaliate. Hel wants us dead and Heaven won’t help us, Nina. I don’t know what to do.”

“This isn’t your fault. If Jack hadn’t taken the book, none of this would have happened.”

Jared laughed once. “Including us.”

I frowned. “Didn’t we agree we had to get through the nightmare to get our miracle?”

Jared smiled infinitesimal y. “Yeah.” He parted his knees and pul ed me to him, hugging me to his chest.

“What are we going to do about what we saw today?” I whispered into his neck.

“Right now we’re just dealing with humans. We have to make sure it stays that way.”Jared shifted and stood up, bringing me along with him. He brought me to the middle of his room and took in a deep cleansing breath, pressing his forehead against mine.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so….” he shook his head, clearly in ful self-loathing mode.

I inched up on the bal s of my feet and touched my lips to his. He cautiously kissed me back, and then sighed again.

“You’re under a lot of pressure right now,” I said, running my fingers through the sides of his hair.

“The last person I should be taking that out on is you. The way I treated you this morning is unforgiveable,” he frowned.

“It was unforgiveable,” I said. “But I forgive you.”

“We know what they want; we’re just not sure how far they’l go to get it. Claire and I can handle the humans. The hardest part wil be waiting for their next move.”

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him. “Can we start this day over?”

Jared kissed the top of my head. “Why don’t we start with getting you to class? You have a test today, don’t you?”

I shook my head. “I have a paper to turn in at ten thirty.”

Jared released me, disappearing to the bathroom. He emerged in a light grey t-shirt and black soccer shorts, with his ratty running shoes. He looked dramatical y different than the more professional attire he wore to the bank.

I stood by the door and waited while he pul ed a hooded sweatshirt over his head.

“Get your stuff together and I’l take you to school. I need to finish setting up for next week, so I’l meet you later, okay? Claire wil be close,” he said, almost in passing.

“Jared?” My fists gripped the fabric of his shirt, holding him tightly to me just as he began to walk away. He looked down at me and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Yes?” he smiled, the softness final y returning to his eyes.

“Can we just pretend it’s a normal vacation and forget about everything here?”

“Absolutely,” he said, hugging me to him.

At Brown, Jared seemed to be back to his old self, which helped the unease surrounding me. Bibles from Hel , demons with criminals-for-hire, antagonistic angels—trying to make sense of it al only created more questions.

I snapped out of my daze when I saw Jared’s expression. “See you at one thirty?” I asked.

Ryan passed us as he walked into the classroom, nodding to Jared. I noticed Jared watch him for a long moment, and then he looked into my eyes.

“Nina,” he said, a bit nervous. “I’m sorry about earlier. It won’t happen again.”

“You’ve already said that,” I said, pul ing up one corner of my mouth.

Guilt displayed across Jared’s face. “I know. I just don’t think that I was clear.”

“You were clear. Consider it forgotten.”

His face seemed to relax, then, and he kissed me once more. “I’l have your things back in your room. I’l meet you there when you get back.”

I nodded and watched him walk down the hal . Before he turned the corner, he looked back at me and smiled. I waved and extended the handle of my bag, continuing to my seat.

“I came by your room about nine last night. You weren’t there,” Ryan said in a hushed voice, tapping his pen on my desk.

“I was sick last night. I stayed with Jared.”

Ryan’s face turned concerned. “You could have stayed here. I could have kept an eye on you.”

I smiled, knowing he was sincere. I appreciated his attempt to repair our friendship. The bitterness from before was absent from his face, and sitting beside him felt right again.

“I’m fine, now. It was just a bad hangover. I didn’t feel wel al day.”

“Yeah, I didn’t feel the greatest, either,” he said, shaking his head.

“And yet you offer to take care of me? That would be a sad sight, both of us lying around, puking our guts out,” I laughed, shaking my head.

Ryan chuckled, taking my paper when the professor instructed the class to pass them to the end of the row. During lecture, a smal square of paper landed on my desk. I smiled and pul ed open the folds.

It was in Ryan’s chicken scratch.

Wil you go to lunch w/me? (circle one) I’l lose my appetite if I have to sit across from you.

I already have lunch plans w/my husband.

Of course, I need to practice my slogans.

I wanted to rol my eyes at his childish note, but when I saw the expectant grin on his face, I couldn’t say no. I circled ‘C’, folded it, and tossed it back.

Ryan always came up with the sil iest things, and I adored that about him. Unbeknownst to him, he was a safe harbor from my other life, the one that had become ful of shadows and uncertainty.

I watched him unfold the paper and read my answer. He didn’t look up at me; he folded back the smal torn page and stuffed it in his pocket, a wide grin across his face.

After class, Ryan and I walked to The Gate. He was his usual amusing self, and I laughed every step of the way. A few times I noticed he would hug me to him, nudge me, and a few times he led me by the smal of my back through the doors he held open. I had the distinct feeling we were on a date, even though that wasn’t the case. The only thing that bothered me was that Ryan’s touch didn’t bother me. It wasn’t the electricity I felt with Jared, but it felt expected, almost comfortable.

I didn’t realize when Ryan asked me to lunch that the entire study group was coming, but I smiled at the friends that filtered in and surrounded us.

Over the next hour, we sat hunched over our paper plates of pizza that we balanced on our laps, the boys trying their best to keep their towering stacks of slices from fal ing to the floor. Ryan and Kim were inexplicably engaged in a contest to see who could take the bigger bite. Our ordinary moment was a welcomed break and I smiled at the laughter saturating the air around me, absorbing the sweet chaos I hadn’t realized I’d missed.

Ryan walked out with me and smiled. “You’re staying here, tonight, huh?”

“I am,” I grinned.

He prolonged our walk with a leisurely pace. “Are you going to study group tonight?”