Raven's Prey (Page 54)

Raven’s Prey(54)
Author: Jayne Ann Krentz

“Come on, Prager, your ride’s here. The destination won’t be Mexico, but that’s the breaks. On your feet.”

Honor waited quietly while the exchange was made. The two government men from the Albuquerque office were cool and competent. Judd talked to them in low tones for a few minutes and then, before Honor was quite ready, the car drove off with Prager and his new escorts. She was alone with Judd.

He came slowly back into the small office, his dark eyes finding her instantly as he paused in the doorway. She thought he was looking at her very much the way he had looked at her that first night in the cantina. And she felt once again that atavistic chill that warned of the presence of the hunter.

For a long moment they stared at each other in utter silence. Then Judd asked quietly, “Were you frightened when I put the Cessna into a spin? There wasn’t time to warn you.”

“It’s quite a dramatic maneuver, isn’t it?” she murmured dryly. “Actually, all things considered, you’re probably lucky I didn’t throw up all over your precious plane.”

His face softened. “I would have forgiven you under the circumstances.”

Her mouth curved softly. “That would have been very understanding of you.”

“I’ll be willing to forgive you just about anything if you’ll repeat what you said in the plane.” He was watching her so intently Honor found herself gripping the edge of the desk.

“About not being a true mercenary?” she whispered. “You’re not, you know. I’ve known that from the beginning. A real dyed-in-the-wool mercenary type would have handed me over to Garrison without a qualm. A genuine mercenary wouldn’t have given me those four extra days in Mexico. And don’t forget, I knew from the first that you had some ethics. Remember how you turned down my bribe?”

“That wasn’t all you said in the Cessna,” he reminded her slowly. “You said something about loving me.”

“Oh, that” Her smile widened and her green-and-gold eyes were filled with gentleness.

“Yes, that. Honor, did you mean it?” he rasped. He didn’t move from his position in the doorway. Every line of his body was taut and poised as if he were about to take wing.

“I meant it.”

He stared at her. “Honor, I didn’t…I wasn’t what you wanted me to be that first morning after we went to bed together. I didn’t give you the complete trust and faith that you wanted; that you deserved”

“No. You gave me your protection, instead. Have you ever looked after someone the way you looked after me, Judd?” she asked whimsically.

He shook his head, saying nothing. His silence was eloquent enough-Honor slid off the desk and took a step toward him. “You didn’t know anything at all about love so it’s understandable.”

“What’s understandable?”

“That you didn’t recognize the first signs of it in yourself.” She took another step. “Offering me your protection was equivalent to another man’s profession of undying love and devotion. It was my fault that I didn’t realize it at the time. I suppose it’s because I was so upset and frightened. I [_had _]romanticized that night, Judd. But I had no right to assume you would do the same. What I should have seen was the evidence of how much our night together had meant to you, too. I should have understood that by the way you handled things the next morning. You were intent on taking care of me.”

“You hated me the next morning when I didn’t react the way you wanted me to react,” he got out savagely. His dark eyes were glittering with the violence of the feelings he was holding in check. He lifted a hand as Honor came a step nearer. Then he appeared to realize it was shaking a little and he lowered it quickly. “Honor, you were so warm and sweet and giving that night. All I did was take.”

She shook her head. “No, Judd. You gave, too, but I was too wrapped up in my own hurt and disappointment the next morning to acknowledge it. You kept saying I belonged to you.”

He winced. “I didn’t phrase that very well, did I?”

“It was properly phrased. For you.” Honor smiled again. “It just wasn’t quite the attitude I had been expecting. Now I know that you were reaching out to me in the only way you could. The only way you knew how to reach out to a woman. Have you ever told another woman she belonged to you?”

“No. I never wanted another woman the way I want you,” he returned starkly.

“You see? It was your instinctive way of extending another bond between us, but I was a little slow in seeing it. You were determined to protect me, to claim me and I should have realized how much that meant.”

“When did you realize it?” This time Judd managed to get his hands to the level of Honor’s shoulders. His fingers still shook a little but he had them more or less under control as he slid his palms up under her hair to cup her face.

“There was no blinding moment of understanding,” she admitted. “I suppose Nick’s total misconception of you did serve to put it all in perspective tonight, though. It amazed me that he actually thought you’d take his money to kill me.”

“You knew I’d do no such thing?”

“Of course I knew that.” She touched his hands with her own as she stood looking up at him. Her eyes were brimming with her love. “We’re very close, remember? And we’re growing closer each day. Someday, Judd Raven, you’re going to wake up and realize you’re in love with me.”

“Oh, God, Honor!” He pulled her nearer and some of the emotion that had been swirling in his dark eyes began to seep out in the form of tears. When Honor touched them with wondering fingertips he groaned and wrapped her fiercely against him. “Sweetheart, I’m a little slow, but I’m not [_that _]slow. You don’t have to wait for me to come to some grand realization. I know damn good and well that I’m in love with you. Nothing else could explain the way I feel. [_Nothing! _]I ache, honey. I can’t even bear to think of losing you. I would never have been able to let you go when the four days you gave me ran out.”

“Judd, darling, please don’t cry,” she breathed shakily.

“Why not? I’ve tried a lot of other emotions out on you. You’ve made me laugh and you’ve made me lose my temper and you’ve made me hunger for you with a passion I’ve never known before. Why shouldn’t I try a few tears?”