Shatter (True Believers #4)(29)
Author: Erin McCarthy

“What the hell are you talking about?” He genuinely looked confused. “Where is all this coming from? My God, it’s like you’re twelve all over again and sending me that nasty letter accusing me of ruining your mother’s life. That was a piece of melodrama that didn’t need to happen.”

I didn’t want to talk about that letter. I had written it, angry and indignant, pouring out my preteen bitterness and anguish on the paper. He hadn’t responded to it and right then and there I had decided he would have no emotional impact on me anymore. I had thought I could maintain that creed and spare my mother the expense of college and grad school by accepting his offer of an education.

Now I wasn’t sure it was worth it. “Dad, you’re a dick. You just are.”

“If you say so.” He didn’t sound particularly worried about it. “Who is the girl, by the way?”

I debated telling him or not and decided it didn’t matter if he knew the truth. He wouldn’t cut Kylie slack if he knew the truth. “Kylie Warner.”

Understanding dawned on him. “Ah. I see. Not very bright. But she is hot, I’ll give you that.”

Fuck. “Seriously, don’t say stuff like that. It’s inappropriate. And it really, really pisses me off.”

Then I left, hands shaking, the urge to hit him more powerful than I would have thought possible. I didn’t have anger issues. I had a pragmatic attitude and a sense of logic about the world. But right then I had an anger issue. I slammed his door shut behind me but that wasn’t nearly satisfying enough.

Down the hall and outside I went, fists balled up, welcoming the howling cold winter wind as it hit me in the face. I couldn’t believe my father was such a prick. How did someone get like that? He had pretty much laid out straight to my face that he’d never wanted me, and he considered me a financial annoyance until he had seen potential in me. All of which I knew. But did he have to say it out loud? Couldn’t we just pretend that he wasn’t a selfish bastard?

No such luck.

Debating where to go since I didn’t feel like heading home and dealing with Devon’s opinions on Kylie, which were unfortunately similar to my father’s, I paused on the street corner. I realized I never actually got my iPad from Kylie. I’d been so distracted, first by kissing her and then by her douche bag ex showing up, that I had forgotten all about it.

Maybe I should go over there and grab it. The walk would do me good. There was no point in driving two blocks and I needed to cool off. Plus I really wanted to see her, settle my nerves. All she had to do was smile and I felt better. Which I really needed. It suddenly felt like everyone I’d surrounded myself with was self-absorbed. Except my mother, that is. Surely I had friends who were compassionate and generous people. But the truth was, most of my friends were acquaintances. Probably in Cincinnati, aside from Devon, my closest friend was Miranda, who happened to be a chem major as well, along with being a lesbian. Unlike Devon, she never stuck her foot in her mouth, though she could be brutally honest. Then my best friend from high school, who was a legit decent guy, was at Carnegie Mellon studying molecular biology. I decided at the very least I was going to call him when I got back to my apartment.

I concentrated on releasing my anger, one breath at a time, feet eating up the sidewalk. I didn’t want to show up at Kylie’s pissed off, so I pictured the way she had looked on the couch, eyes closed, ribs more prominent from her recent weight loss, her br**sts bursting out of her bra cups. That was a much better thought. I’d meant what I said—I hadn’t intended to have sex with her. I didn’t imagine me rocking my c**k into her was going to feel all that amazing when she was constantly dizzy and nauseous. For her, anyway. I’m sure for me it would feel fantastic if I were a selfish ass**le. But I reserved that role for Professor Kadisch. But I had enjoyed making her come, her body relaxed, her soft moans satisfying. She had earned the right to o**l s*x after what she’d been through with the morning sickness.

It still blew my mind that some guy would be interested in having sex with another chick while he was having sex with Kylie. It was totally illogical. Beyond stupid. She had the most amazing body I’d ever seen, plus she was big-time responsive. I barely touched her and she was all low moans and wet thighs. It was f**king hot. But maybe there was just something between us . . . that intriguing chemistry that most people find so unexplainable, yet is so clearly rooted in science.

Whatever it was, it was making me warm despite the winter weather.

I texted her while I walked to make sure she was still awake and that it was okay if I stopped by. She said it was fine, and since she answered right away, I decided I could trust she was telling the truth. If she didn’t want to see me, she’d make up an excuse, probably one that was transparent. Kylie wasn’t complicated and I liked that. She wasn’t manipulative or devious. She wasn’t even moody, despite what she was going through.

“Hey,” I said when she opened the door. “I can’t believe I forgot the iPad.”

She smiled. “Come on up. We were interrupted, so I’m not that surprised.”

I was. I didn’t forget things. My mind was like a data spreadsheet. It seemed when I was distracted by emotion my brain forgot to hit the SAVE button. “Yeah, that was unfortunate. At least he didn’t come five minutes sooner.” Or she wouldn’t have been coming.

She gave me a look over her shoulder that had my dick swelling again. “I’m not sure we were totally finished.”

I wanted to slide my hands over her ass, but I restrained myself. I was still feeling residual anger and I didn’t want to be rough with her. I had a feeling if I let go, I’d be in the push-her-against-the-wall kind of mood and you just couldn’t do that with a girl who was fresh out of the hospital. “You finished. That’s all that matters.”

Once we got in the living room, she sat down and patted the couch next to her with a smile. “You okay? You look agitated.”

She said “agitated” in a funny, goofball voice. I couldn’t help but attempt a smile.

“I was just in my dad’s office, and it occurred to me what a complete and total dick he is.”

Her eyes widened. “Well, I’ve always thought he was a dick, but I just figured that’s because he was flunking me.”

“No, he’s a dick.” I kicked my boots off and put my feet on the coffee table, sinking back against the couch cushions. I felt more at ease already, just being near her. “You know, my mom got pregnant with me when she was your age by a certain chemistry grad student by the name of Ben Kadisch.”