Solitary Man(10)
Author: Carly Phillips

She hugged her clothes tight against her chest and met his gaze with a steady one of her own. “That’s what I was afraid of.” Before he could answer, she hit the bathroom running, slamming the door shut behind her.

* * *

Nikki made herself a promise. She’d concentrate on her job tonight, and take tomorrow and Monday, her days off, to deal with the fact that she was pregnant. With Kevin’s baby. A fuzzy warmth curled through her stomach at the thought, one at odds with the truth of her life. She shook her head, refusing to think about him now.

But not thinking of Kevin was like having someone tell you not to think about images of nice things—like weekends, vacations, or summertime. The harder you tried, the more they danced in front of your eyes, teased your senses, and invaded your dreams.

She walked over to her most recent table: men who’d come to the bar for a night on the town. She recognized them as regulars—lawyers who frequented the bar after work and occasionally on the weekends. They knew how to flirt and have a good time, but despite the banter they were harmless. In another life, she might even have been interested.

A life that didn’t include Kevin Manning, maybe.

“Can I get you fellas something?” Nikki asked.

“Nachos and beer.”

“Vodka, straight up.”

“You, honey,” a good-looking blond-haired man said. Leaning back in his chair, he stretched his arm out so his fingers touched her waist. She forced herself to remain in place. The more amiable she was, the better her tip. Right now, she needed all the spare cash she could possibly earn each night.

Besides, this same guy had made overtures before. Her responses had always been the same: a polite but firm no. He expected it and flirted anyway. No harm, no foul, she thought. She could handle him.

She forced a smile. “Sorry. I’m not on the menu,” she said and took a step backward. “But nice try.”

He grinned. “Too bad. We could have a good time.”

No, we couldn’t. Because he wasn’t Kevin. Her heart belonged to Kevin Manning from the minute he’d claimed her as his own. A primitive notion, Nikki knew. But valid anyway.

Too bad he didn’t reciprocate her feelings. Then this pregnancy would be the answer to her prayers. In a funny way, it still was. How could she regret fate, or the life growing inside her?

Unfortunately, nothing was as simple as she’d like it to be. Which brought her back to her dilemma. No health insurance, no job once she started to show, and no valid means of support or daycare for her child. So much for dealing with tomorrow, Nikki thought.

She made her way back to the bar, following the same routine of previous nights. The pounding beat of rock music combined with the heavy sheen of smoke and the accompanying foul odors of cigars, cigarettes, and liquor worked against her. Nikki picked up the tray of drinks and tried holding her breath until she reached a semblance of fresh air away from the bar. The effort was futile, only serving to make the dizziness and nausea worse.

Good, Lord, why did they call it morning sickness? She paused at the table of men once more to empty her tray and defray another halfhearted attempt to arrange a date. The way things were going, it was destined to be a very long night.

* * *

Kevin stood with his back against the wall, nursing the same soda for the last hour. He didn’t want to call attention to himself by ordering another drink. He told himself he wanted to keep an eye on Nikki in case she had another fainting spell. That was part truth and part bull. He also wanted to keep an eye on the male customers with wandering eyes, roving hands, and too much testosterone. If the blond suit laid another hand on her while she served him his drink, Kevin would dump the guy’s beer in his lap himself.

He told himself he didn’t like seeing any woman harassed. This was true. He’d seen his lecherous father in action too many times, and had dragged his sorry, drunken butt home too often… sometimes before, sometimes after he’d offended the lady in question. But the truth tonight went way deeper than the issue of sexual harassment.

Kevin didn’t want another guy laying a hand on Nikki. She deserved better than Kevin Manning, but she was still carrying his child. That gave him the right to keep her safe.

When he’d let Tony down, Kevin had blown his one mayor responsibility in life. In doing so, he’d proven his drunken father right. Mannings were no good at handling responsibility. For awhile, Kevin thought he’d bypassed the old man’s prediction that the son would turn out no better than the father. Then a bullet had proven the old man right.

He’d followed that mistake by taking solace in Nikki… and ended up letting her down a second time. This child gave him another chance to do something right in his life. He had no idea how to be a parent or a husband. But no way was he about to blow his responsibilities.

Not with this woman. Not again. Just watching her bar routine sent a surge of something raw and primitive flowing through his veins. For the first time since he was an angry kid, he wanted to lash out and hit someone for attempting to take what was his. The thought made him laugh… because Nikki Welles was many things, including pregnant, but she wasn’t his.

FOUR

Three days with no word. Kevin figured he’d given Nikki enough time to digest her situation. She hadn’t called and he hadn’t expected her to. He had, however, had enough of the silent treatment.

He entered the familiar building and walked up the three flights of stairs. The dark stairwell with its many steps was another reason why he wasn’t comfortable with Nikki staying on here after Janine was gone. His rambling house with its many rooms on the ground level would be more comfortable for Nikki. And more difficult for him. Sharing a home with her would give him glimpses of warmth and the illusion of a family… He didn’t deserve either.

He knocked on the door and waited. No answer. Kevin banged again, louder this time. Janine was at work, but Nikki didn’t hold a day job. He’d chosen to arrive before nine, before Nikki would be out for the day. He leaned closer to the door and listened. Still silent. He banged again.

An uncomfortable prickle of fear worked on his nerves. Even if she’d been asleep, his pounding would have awakened her by now. He had no reason to believe anything was wrong… except she’d fainted once before. He had a hunch she wasn’t feeling as well as she claimed. What if she’d gotten dizzy again? What if she’d passed out cold on the floor, or worse, in the shower?

What if, like Tony, she was alone and something was wrong and he was too late? Kevin didn’t hesitate. He jimmied the lock and tore inside the apartment. The empty apartment, he realized as he glanced around and hit every room, checking the beds, the couch, and the floors.