Solitary Man(41)
Author: Carly Phillips

His dark eyes glittered dangerously and she knew she was treading on sensitive ground. She’d never goaded him before, never pushed an argument to the point where he released his emotions. Apparently it was time for that too.

“I don’t want to control you, Nikki.”

“You want to control situations. Same difference.”

He grabbed her shoulders in a touch that considering the emotions flowing between them should have been rough but was exceedingly gentle. “I want to keep you safe.”

She met his gaze head-on. “And you can’t always guarantee that, even if you’re by my side twenty-four hours a day!” She practically yelled in frustration. “You aren’t responsible for fate.”

“No, but I can make sure I’m there just in case.” And then Kevin lowered his mouth to hers, forestalling any more arguing.

He was warm and she relished his touch, reveled in his scent. Although she couldn’t turn him away, she wasn’t ready to give in return. She didn’t resist him; she needed the simplicity of the contact too much. And that’s how he kept things between them—simple, as he nibbled and licked at the seam of her lips with his tongue. If he was intent on seducing her into submission, he was well on his way. Only the knowledge that he used sex to seduce himself into oblivion gave her the ability to remain strong. To think instead of cave.

And when she let him inside, for the first time the intimacy nearly made her lose her resolve. Just a few more seconds, she promised herself, as his tongue swirled and tangled with hers. She gripped his forearms, her nails digging into his skin.

He exhaled a groan and slipped beneath her flowing shirt and dipped lower, to cup her behind and pull her tight against his rigid length. Liquid heat poured from her, sizzling fire burned in her veins. Why was this so perfect, when everything else between them was such a mess?

“Damn, but you feel good. Do you know what you do to me?” he muttered.

“Exactly because you do the same to me.” She tipped her head backward forcing herself to look into his taut face, and forcing him to meet her gaze. His eyes were clouded with raw desire.

She could never resist him when he was like this, but tonight she had no choice. “Sex isn’t the answer to our problems,” she told him.

“We’re here, we’re together, and we’re having a baby.” His hand splayed over the light swell of her stomach.

His touch branded her. A silly, belated notion, considering he’d already done so by giving her his child.

“Forget any problems for now.”

She shook her head, fighting his magnetic pull, fighting the lure of the future. “I wish I could.” But if he couldn’t give her anything besides great sex, they had no future.

She met his gaze, silently begging him with everything inside her to hear, and understand. “You can’t base a lifetime on sex—no matter how good it is.” And sex with Kevin was always good. Her heart beat loud and hard against her chest while her body throbbed in time to the steady rhythm, attesting to that particular truth.

He grabbed for her hand. “It’s a start.”

Was it her imagination or did his words sound like a plea for understanding? But she couldn’t sleep with him and not have her emotional needs fulfilled too.

“I thought so too. But no more.” She lifted her arms to his shoulders and pushed him away. He let her, backing off because she’d asked. Ironically, a part of her wished he’d press the issue and not allow her to withdraw so easily.

Her wish went unanswered and a chill washed over her as he placed emotional and physical distance between them.

“Go ahead. Get some sleep,” he said in a rough voice. “It’s late.” He gestured toward her room—the guest room on the other side of the house. Far from his bedroom. Far from him.

She’d been hoping he’d understand everything she’d said tonight, and realized she’d been wishing for the impossible. Disappointment filled her—disappointment in him for his unwillingness to try and disappointment in herself for caring so much that he’d let her down.

She started for her room, and when she felt his burning gaze on her back, she turned around. “Kevin… ”

“What?”

“I just want you to know I’ll be out most of the day tomorrow. I’ll be back sometime after dinner.” She’d finally heard back from her guidance counselor. He had numerous options to discuss, and Nikki had convinced Janine to drive her back up to school to work out an arrangement that would enable her to graduate. Then maybe she’d find a private position that had some kind of day care.

She braced herself for the inevitable argument. Instead he merely shrugged his shoulders. “Suit yourself. You will anyway.”

If she could close the distance between them, she’d do it in a heartbeat. But the next move wasn’t hers to make.

THIRTEEN

Kevin pulled into the parking lot to Dr. Molloy’s private office and shifted the gearshift to park. “This is standard?” he asked Nikki.

“For the fifth time, yes. It’s my monthly appointment.”

“And you’re feeling okay?” He’d been so wrapped up in himself and Max lately that Nikki’s health had taken a backseat.

“Perfectly fine. If I wasn’t you’d have heard about it. We live in the same house, after all.”

But they barely communicated. Funny how he’d miss something he’d never really had. Nikki was sleeping beside him, but not with him. He sensed in his gut the next move was his, but damned if he knew how to make it or bridge the gap that was of his own making. He didn’t let her into his life, so she didn’t let him into her body. Somehow it didn’t seem like a fair exchange.

“You ready?” he asked.

She nodded and minutes later, they were ushered into a small but modern-looking room. Immaculately clean and antiseptic-smelling, the examining room was a far cry from the dilapidated one downtown. And though Nikki got the same care from the same doctor, he couldn’t help but be grateful she’d given in on this point and allowed him to foot the bill for private practice. At least he could feel like he was taking care of his family in a way that counted.

His family. Before he could process that thought, the door opened and Dr. Molloy entered.

She glanced at Nikki. “It’s good to see you again, Nicole.” Then she turned toward Kevin. “Mr. Manning. I’m glad to see you two have worked things out.”