Solitary Man(7)
Author: Carly Phillips

She swallowed hard. How could she react this way to the same person who’d used her and dumped her all within twenty-four hours? Her mind understood the facts. Her body didn’t seem to care. Apparently neither did his because she noticed a slight hitch in his breathing, telling her he felt it too.

“Tell me,” he said.

“When I think about that night…” She purposefully emphasized her words and a muffled noise tore from deep in his throat.

She recognized the sound as one of desire. An answering tremor shook her and she squeezed her legs together in a futile effort to halt the waves of need he inspired. She wanted to give in to the moment but she’d done that once before and suffered the consequences. Yet when he reached for her, cupping her face in his hand, she couldn’t walk away and turned her cheek into his embrace instead. Her eyelids fluttered closed and she let herself believe…

“Princess…”

She jerked back, fantasy gone, reality returning in full force. No doubt, the name had the opposite effect of what he’d intended. Nikki knew she had one chance to make him understand what he’d done and she had no intention of losing the opportunity.

“You wanted to know what I remember most about that night?” she asked in a deceptively soft voice. “I remember waking up naked and alone.”

This time he stiffened reflexively.

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing with me, but you’ve already shown me how much you care,” she said. “One little fainting spell and a good Samaritan gesture doesn’t change a thing.”

A muscle twitched beside his mouth, but he didn’t say a word so she continued. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like my keys and then I’d like to be alone.” She held out her hand and waited.

Tension reverberated between them. As his silence continued, Nikki expected an explosion. Perhaps she even wanted one. Anything to give her the means to relieve the building pressure.

When he finally answered, she was disappointed. “I don’t play games.” He spoke softly, with determination but not anger. “I promised Tony I’d look out for you. I may have done a lousy job so far, but that’s about to change.” He turned, inserted the key and pushed open the door. “Get some sleep.” He stepped back to allow her inside.

She walked over the threshold, drawing into herself as she passed him, refusing to be lured back into the vortex of desire he effortlessly created. She stared into his ebony eyes. “I don’t need a keeper.”

“I disagree.” His gaze raked over her and she knew if she looked into a mirror now, she’d cringe in disgust. Yet she couldn’t mistake the subtle darkening in his gaze and marveled that she could affect him still.

Not that it changed anything. Desire was a far cry from love and caring, and Nikki could accept no less for herself. She’d lost too many people in her life. She’d come too far to be just a charity case to the man she… Damn.

“Good night,” he murmured. The door closed behind her with a soft click. She’d have preferred a loud slam.

Instead, he’d marched back into her life, turned her heart upside down once more, and retreated… all without a sound. He’d left her wound up and full of energy. Anger throbbed inside her, a rapid pulse that matched the beat of her heart. Tony had asked Kevin to look out for her? He intended to take care of her as if she were a child? The hell he was.

Nikki grabbed an overstuffed pillow and punched the center hard before sinking into the couch. She’d always been somebody’s obligation. She’d been her parents’ little girl, even after she’d graduated from high school and come East to college. Within the year, her parents had died in a fire and Tony, who had migrated to Boston long before, had become her surrogate parent. With Tony gone, Janine had assumed the role. Now Kevin wanted to get in on the act.

Well, she was an adult, though no one in her life had ever acknowledged the fact. Over these past couple of months, she’d proven she could take care of herself. She’d even found someone who was looking for a roommate at a rental she could afford if she scraped by.

She didn’t need Kevin looking out for her. Nor did she want his pity. The only thing she’d ever wanted from him was the one thing she’d never have. She desired what her parents had enjoyed, what Tony and Janine had shared. And she respected herself too much to settle for less.

THREE

“Nikki.” A hand shook her shoulder. “Nikki, wake up.”

“What?” She jerked into a sitting position to find Janine standing over her, a concerned and motherly expression on her face. “Don’t look at me like that,” Nikki muttered.

“I can’t help it. You’re still in last night’s work clothes, and you never made it to your room last night. You have dark circles under your eyes, and I’m worried.” After folding the Afghan throw Nikki had used as a blanket the night before, Janine lowered herself onto the couch. Nikki glared at her.

“You should have thought of that before you brought Kevin back into my life. Where was your concern then?”

“I was thinking about you.”

Nikki curled her legs beneath her. “Give me one good reason why you did it. Just one. Make me understand how my best friend could betray me.” Because she and Janine had seen each other through the aftermath of Tony’s death and Kevin’s abrupt disappearance, Janine knew how deeply Kevin had wounded her.

She would have given him her heart, if only he’d stuck around to accept it. He hadn’t of course. She’d lost her brother and Kevin in rapid succession.

Janine met Nikki’s gaze. No remorse showed in her green-eyed gaze. None shadowed her expression. Only the kindness and compassion she’d shown Nikki from the start. “Would you have preferred a gentle let-down the morning after?”

“Whose side are you on anyway?”

“Yours.” Janine laid a hand on her shoulder. “Always yours. What Kevin did was wrong, but did you ever think he was suffering too?” she asked softly.

“Yes.” And Nikki had wanted to help him heal.

“You couldn’t have healed him. He had to come back on his own,” Janine said, reading her mind.

“With a little nudging from you?” The only person she had left had switched sides, leaving her to fend for herself. Nikki didn’t understand. The world had shifted beneath her feet and she hated the unsteady sensation that left her wondering what jarring thing would come next.