Solitary Man(8)
Author: Carly Phillips

“He’d already come back, settled into a house he inherited,” Janine said.

He’d admitted as much, Nikki thought. “And?”

“And I asked him to meet me at the bar.”

“Why?”

“Because when I’m gone, you’re going to need someone to lean on.”

Nikki bristled at the implication that she couldn’t take care of herself. Coming from the person who’d seen her at her worst then seen her pull her life together after, the lack of faith hurt And then the rest of Janine’s words sunk in. “What do you mean, when you’re gone?”

“My baby needs more than me.” Janine placed her hand over her still-flat stomach, rubbing circles in a gesture that had become familiar to Nikki during the past few months. “Actually I need more than me, and no insult to you because I’m going to miss you like crazy, but I need my family.”

Nikki blinked at the sudden but not altogether unexpected admission. She’d seen the signs lately—the increased phone calls home, and Janine’s recollections of the farmhouse in Iowa where she’d grown up.

“Okay.” What else could she say that wouldn’t be selfish and one-sided? She loved Janine like a sister. Losing her would be like losing Tony all over again. But she understood and would respect her decision. She had no choice. “There’s always airplanes and holidays. I’m not going to let my niece or nephew grow up without knowing me.”

Janine smiled. “I’d come back to visit for the same reason. Meantime, I’m stranding you.”

Nikki shook her head. “You’d never do that. Look, I can’t afford the rent here, but there’s this other waitress who’s looking for a roommate, and I can afford that on what I make at the bar. See? I’ll be fine and you didn’t need to worry about me.

“I can’t believe you’re taking this so well.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t think I would. Look at me, Janine. I’ve grown up.”

“Yes, you have.” Her sister-in-law’s gaze traveled over her. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Better than last…” Nikki’s words trailed off. “How did you know I was sick?”

“Kevin called. I grabbed the phone before it could wake you.”

“Well, he shouldn’t have bothered. I’m fine now.”

“Are you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that there have been other signs that…”

A loud pounding at the door stopped whatever Janine had been about to say. “I’ll get it,” Janine said.

“Signs that what?” Nikki called after her.

“Never mind,” the other woman muttered. “You’ll figure it out soon enough.”

“Who is it?” she called, preventing Nikki from questioning her further.

“Kevin.”

Nikki’s stomach did another forward roll, just as it had last night in the bar. Janine opened the door.

Nikki met his gaze. Same black leather jacket, same razor stubble, same handsome features. The same man who turned her insides to mush with a glance. He strolled inside, whistling as if he hadn’t a care in the world.

Nikki wished her own emotions were as controlled and steady when he was around. She probably had nothing to worry about. Knowing Kevin, he’d have his say and disappear. In the meantime, she had Janine as a buffer.

Nikki forced a smile.

Janine gave him a brotherly hug. “Good to see you again, Kevin. Unfortunately I was on my way out.”

Nikki narrowed her gaze. Janine picked up her purse that was hanging over a chair, grabbed her keys from the counter, and avoided Nikki’s gaze as she made her way to the door. Her sister-in-law had awakened her, dropped her bomb, and left her alone with Kevin. It didn’t take a genius to figure out she’d been set up again.

The door slammed shut and Kevin turned toward her. For the first time, she noticed the brown bag in his hand.

She ran a hand down her tangled mass of hair. She didn’t relish him seeing her looking like last night’s garbage.

“What do you want?” she asked him. The sooner she found out, the sooner she could get rid of him. She could use a hot shower and catch a few decent hours of sleep in her own bed before the Saturday night shift began.

“To settle things between us once and for all.”

Nikki shrugged. “Funny, I thought we already had.”

He didn’t answer, just thrust out the hand with the innocuous-looking bag.

She grabbed it and peered inside. Her stomach rolled once more, only this time she had a better hunch as to the cause. “Home pregnancy test?”

“Take it and then we’ll talk.”

The command was insulting, the possibility frightening. She’d just discovered she was losing her apartment. She’d counted on her bartending job to hold her over for the time being, until she could save enough to finish her semester of student teaching while holding down a part-time job that didn’t leave her wiped out in the morning. Pregnant women didn’t waitress in a cocktail bar.

Pregnant women… Was it possible? They hadn’t used protection, she thought, recalling every intimate detail of her time with Kevin. She swallowed hard, then mentally counted months. Nikki began to shake as she realized anything was possible. Since that night, she hadn’t had a spare second to worry about anything except getting to work on time and sleeping enough to serve drinks again the next night. But there was the frequent nausea, the dizziness… not unlike when her parents had died, but much more persistent.

She couldn’t be certain. She met his steady gaze. “Even if I am pregnant, which I doubt, it’s not your concern.” It was hers, she thought, her fear mounting.

“You’re wrong.”

“We shared one night, Kevin. It’s over.”

He shook his head slowly. “Princess, I have a hunch that night was just the beginning.”

* * *

Nikki hoped with everything in her that he was wrong. Her hand went to her lower abdomen and molded around her flat stomach. Or did she? She’d gone to college because she’d believed in being able to support herself. She’d chosen education because she loved children. Teaching had been a way to be around kids until she was able to fulfill her dream of having a family of her own.

Only financial considerations had forced her to put her education on hold. Although having a baby was a dream come true, the timing couldn’t be worse. She was barely supporting herself. In no way could she afford to care for another tiny human being.