The Billionaire’s Lust (His Submissive #7)(6)
Author: Ava Claire

"I do," I replied, placing my mug on the table. My hands were shaking too hard to maintain my grip. When he blew up after I told him about the letter, I could already see it crashing and splintering into a million pieces.

I rolled my shoulders back. I’d had weeks of avoiding this. Living with this secret. Win or lose, I was coming clean.

"I’m sorry too, Jacob."

He cocked his head to the side. "You’re sorry? What for?"

"Because I read the letter you wrote to your mother."

Ever since I opened that letter, I prepared myself for the worse. A rush of blood to the head in the space between my confession and his response. Some form of cardiac arrest to kick in as I watched it really sink in, compounding the damage I’d already done. His face would crumble, wild with rage as I prepared for him to tell me that he was done. That he was tired of giving me all, only to be disappointed when I found some new way to hurt him. I was prepared for the eruption, to stand still and take it as he laid out all the reasons he never should have hired me or allowed himself to fall for me. I was prepared. I’d accepted it. What I wasn’t prepared for were the actual words that fell from his lips.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

I blinked once. Twice. Slowly, hesitantly, my body started turning and whirling as his words spun around me. “What did you just say?”

He pivoted to me and said it again. “I’m sorry that you had to see that.” His eyes breathed me in with concern. With worry. “That letter…I was going to send that weeks ago…you’ve been carrying that confession around all this time?”

That was his question? Not, ‘Have you lost your goddamn mind’? This wasn’t real. This was a dream. Still, I managed to move my head up and down.

“Oh Leila.” He said my name like it was the saddest, most gut wrenching love song ever written. “Baby you should have…” He got up and took my hand in his, bringing me to my feet and crushing my body against his. “I was angry when I wrote those words. I was tired of feeling like I didn’t have control. You did what you wanted. Cade f**king Wallace did what he wanted.” He combed his fingers through my hair, his face coursing with emotion—and not the emotion I expected. “That letter certainly wasn’t the way I wanted you to learn that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“You still want to spend your life with me?” I said in disbelief. “After everything that’s happened?”

“I know what a Leila-free life is like. I’ve been there, I’ve done that and I’ll be damned if I go back to living without you.” He quirked his lips into a smile. “I mean, I’d be lying if I told you that all the things that have happened haven’t made me pause and take a step back, but I never stopped loving you.”

“And I never stopped loving you,” I whispered, bringing my arms up, circling his neck and standing on my toes. My lips hovered mere inches from his lips. “Jacob, I’m sorry for the letter and I’m sorry for whatever stupid thing I’m bound to do in the future.” I moved closer, my lips brushing his. “I don’t want you to ever doubt me or where we stand. I want to be the thing you can trust, that you can count on no matter what.” The kiss bloomed and the whole world paused for us. It was only his lips, my lips and the taste of the future.

When I stepped back, I only wanted to have him. Every part of me cried out for him; wanted to strip off layers of clothes and join our bodies together. But I had more to say. I needed him to understand because even if he was ready to forgive, I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t put it all on the line.

“I talked to my mother and she helped me understand something.”

His eyebrow arched in surprise that I’d said ‘mother’ and ‘help’ in the same breath. “She did?”

“Yes,” I confirmed slowly. “I think I was trying to sabotage us.”

He massaged his neck, trying to understand. “Sabotage?”

“She reminded me of high school–” I chuckled, pausing as I was bombarded by memories. “And let me just say for the record, I thought I was over that awkwardness. In college, I threw myself into student government and clubs because I knew that was the only way I’d get where I needed to go. Failure wasn’t an option. But once upon a time, the very idea of failing was so crippling that I would make sure I didn’t. How can you fail if you never really try?” I looked up at him. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I think a part of me just thought it was a matter of time before you left.”

“So you’re doing your damndest to make sure I leave?” he asked. “Trying to force the other shoe to drop?”

“I wasn’t expecting to fall for you.” My cheeks warmed as I tried to explain. “I mean, I knew we had physical chemistry. I would have never signed the contract if there wasn’t sparks–”

“Just sparks?” he said, his deep voice crackling with mischief.

“It was the Fourth of July,” I amended with a smirk. “But the idea that a guy like you–drop dead gorgeous, rich, powerful, crazy successful, would want me? Love me? That was a hard pill to swallow. I think somewhere I believed it was only a matter of time before you decided you could do better. So I guess I was making those stupid choices, testing you…” I cringed at that word. I expected his face to harden because you don’t play games with guys like Jacob and they had zero patience for people that did. But he was just listening to me. Rapt. “I don’t want to do it anymore, subconsciously or otherwise. I want to believe that you’re mine and I’m yours. That I deserve you.” I held my breath, waiting for him to respond.

“You know what I find remarkable?”

My uncanny ability to screw up the best thing in my life? “What’s that?”

“From here, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve someone as amazing as you.” He moved back in, like he couldn’t bear to be apart from me. “I never thought I’d find someone like you. Feisty. Stubborn. So full of love and compassion. I never thought I deserved to find my soul mate. But I found you. And if you want to get rid of me, you’ll have to try harder.”

He was near enough that I could see the desire heating his cool gaze. Close enough that I knew every beautiful inch of him was hardened for me.

“So even if I did this–” I slid my hand inside the front of the cotton pants that hung low on his hips, his downy masculine hair making a delicious trail toward his erect cock. I gripped him tight, sliding my tongue over my lip. “–you’d still keep me around? Even though it’s a blatant disregard of my training and your rules?”