The Buchanan’s Baby (Buchanan Brothers #7)(22)
Author: Alexx Andria

Shannon sucked in a surprised breath. Was it possible? Her eyes watered. She supposed it was time to make a difficult and emotionally scary phone call.

She could only hope it wasn’t too late.

-10-

Nolan’s phone buzzed on the table and he ignored it, choosing instead to finish off his tequila. He wasn’t even sure why he was still hanging around this town when he was clearly not wanted. He ought to leave. Pack his shit and go; let the lawyers hash it all out. Shannon was going to lose — he was going to pick her bones apart in court. But that didn’t give him a hint of satisfaction. He didn’t want to destroy Shannon. She’d pushed him to this place. He’d wanted to provide for her and Aubrey; he’d wanted to wake up with her in his arms.

Hell, maybe he’d even wanted to marry her.

But she didn’t want anything to do with him. Not that he blamed her. Who would want a perverted son-of-a-bitch like him? In his life he’d done nothing worth crowing about, but he certainly had enough to be ashamed of.

Isabel, Penny…now Shannon?

And that wasn’t counting the number of nameless one-night stands that he’d fucked and forgotten.

What kind of man was he? Why would Shannon want anything to do with him? What could he offer her aside from cold, impersonal wealth? He didn’t know how to be a decent person.

A loud banging sounded at his hotel room door and Vince hollered from the other side. “Stop crying in your beer and let me in.”

“Go away, Vince,” Nolan said, reaching for a fresh bottle of tequila. He planned to drink away this pain or die trying.

“Open this door, you pussy.”

“Fuck off.”

“C’mon, let me in.”

Nolan sighed and cast a sour look toward the door but climbed to his feet nonetheless. He opened the door and returned to his tequila.

“This is pathetic,” Vince remarked, taking in the general disarray of the room and the Nolan’s overall sense of self-loathing. “What is happening here? I can tell you what’s not happening — personal hygiene,” he said, waving away the stench of Nolan’s unwashed body. “Jesus, open a damn window. You could choke an elephant.”

Nolan smirked, unmoved by his twin’s disgust. “I’ve resigned myself to wallowing in my own filth because it’s where I belong.”

Vince rolled his eyes, irritated. “When did you grow ovaries? This is ridiculous. All this over one chick?”

“She’s not just a chick!” Nolan shouted, slamming his fist down on the table so hard that the tequila nearly spilled. “She’s the mother of my daughter. Don’t you get it?” He stared hard at his twin, unable to contain his fury. “She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met and she doesn’t want a thing to do with me and you know why? Because I’m not worthy of her time.”

“Says who?” Vince retorted, not impressed. “There are plenty of fish in the sea as they say.” He helped himself to a shot of tequila and gulped it down. “Think about it, Nolan. You only want this woman because she’s the first to turn you down. Eventually, you would’ve gotten over whatever you’re going through and you’d have moved on. Count yourself lucky that she cut you loose before things got ugly and complicated.”

“You don’t get it, Vince,” Nolan said, shaking his head. “What I feel is more than a passing thing. Whatever I feel, is so strong, I feel it in my bones.”

Vince cut his gaze away. “It’ll pass.”

“Did it?” Nolan pressed, daring his brother to lie to him. “Did it pass with Isabel? Or does not a day go by that you don’t think of her?”

“That’s different,” Vince said, refusing to look at Nolan. He reached for the tequila. “No fair bringing up the dead.”

“Who said any of this was fair?” Nolan mocked, leaning back in his chair to stare out the window. “If life were fair…hell, we both know it’s not good to travel down that road.”

“True.” Vince stared morosely into his tequila before downing it. A long moment stretched between them before Vince said, “Do you love her?”

Nolan squeezed his eyes shut, almost afraid to put a name to the wild feeling wrapping itself around his heart but he knew whether or not he admitted it wouldn’t change anything. “Yes,” he said, his lids flipping back open. “I do.”

“Then you can’t give up,” Vince said finally. “Go to her, figure it out.”

“She doesn’t want me. I disgust her.”

“There’s a fine line between love and hate. Maybe you can nudge her the right way.”

“I screwed up.”

“We all screw up. At least you’re trying to fix it. That’s more than what some of us did.” Nolan knew Vince was talking about himself and how things had unfolded with Isabel. Vince’s pain over Isabel’s loss was almost palpable when Vince cracked open that box. Of the three of them, Vince had suffered the most over Isabel’s suicide. Nolan feared that as messed up as the Buchanan boys were, Vince’s damage was the deepest. Vince stood abruptly and walked toward the door, saying gruffly, “If you really love her…stop bitching about how pathetic you are and just go make it right. It’s the only choice there is.”

And then he left.

Nolan drew a deep breath. Vince was right. He could sit there crying like a whiny baby or he could man up and go after his woman.

He stumbled to his feet and swayed when the tequila caught up to him. Oh damn, he realized when the room tilted on its axis, he was trashed. And there was no way he was going anywhere — but straight to the floor.

And that’s exactly where he ended up.

Shannon worried her bottom lip, her mind nowhere near where it should be as the new line up of players received their beginning of the season talks from the head coach. Most of the players already knew Shannon as the head athletics trainer but she still had to make her appearance, nod and wave and then return to her office to finish the odds and ends of paperwork for the insurance requirements.

Usually, she enjoyed the fresh start of a new season — she loved hockey and everything that came with it – but her thoughts were a chaotic mess. She’d tried repeatedly to get a hold of Nolan but her calls had gone unanswered. She supposed that was to be expected as she’d tossed him out of her life like a diseased potato but she was a bit shocked that he refused to take her calls.