The Gamble

My hands gave her upper arms a squeeze as my heart was processing her lip twitch hopefully. “Yes, I forgot about that.”

“Max had a showdown with Nina’s ex-fiancé in the hotel restaurant this morning, though, alas, no punches were thrown,” Mom informed Mindy, pushing into my space, giving her a hug and kissing her cheek before pulling back.

Mindy looked from Mom to me and asked, “No joke? You’re fiancé’s here?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” I answered.

“Ex,” Mom put in firmly, “ex-fiancé.”

Mindy gave Mom another lip twitch before looking at me and asking, “Why’s he here?”

“Because he’s a jerk, like my Dad, who’s also a jerk.”

“I thought you said he was –” Mindy started.

“I was wrong,” I told her. “During the showdown he exposed his true self and let’s just say I won’t be tearing up over pizza the next time we go out,” I explained.

“Bitsy’s here,” Barb called from the doorway before Mindy could reply and I looked at Mom then at Mindy.

“Bitsy?” Mindy asked, now looking confused.

“Mindy, can you trust me for about fifteen minutes?” I enquired and watched her body lock, panic filled her face and I thought for a second she would flee.

Then, seeming to struggle to push it back, she nodded and whispered, “I trust you all the time, Neens.”

I pressed my lips together and swallowed the lump that formed in my throat as my eyes slid to my Mom who was smiling a gentle smile at me. This smile from Mom, as it always did my whole life, gave me strength. This was good. I needed it because I was scared to death my plan was going to go south.

Then I took Mindy’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Let’s go into the living room.”

I led her by the hand into the living room, Mom and Barb following. Bitsy was sitting in her chair by the couch and she looked run through the mill but when her eyes hit Mindy, her torso straightened and her gaze grew alert.

“What’s up?” she asked me but didn’t look away from Mindy. “You said on the message you needed me here but you didn’t say why. Is everything okay?”

“No,” I replied honestly, Bitsy’s eyes grew wide and they instantly flew to Max who was standing just inside the room by Steve, Brody and some other person, a man I didn’t know.

I thought Bitsy looking at Max was telling. I shoved that back, focused and guided Mindy to the couch where we sat, me at her left side.

“Bitsy, can you get close, please, right up here, in front of Mindy?” I called as Mom sat down on Mindy’s right side.

Bitsy wheeled forward and got close to Mindy’s front as Mindy looked between the lot of us.

I looked at Bitsy and stated softly, “I know you’ve had a tough day, a tough week and I wish I had time to explain what was happening here so you wouldn’t be blind-sighted by this. But I didn’t and now, I need you. This is going to be hard, but, will you trust me?”

Her eyes were moving between Mindy, Mom and me and then she looked at me and nodded.

“Can you take just a little bit more?” I prompted when Bitsy didn’t answer.

“I… I think so,” Bitsy answered.

“Neens, what’s this –” Mindy started but I talked over her, keeping my gaze steady on Bitsy.

“Bitsy, yesterday, Mindy tried to commit suicide,” I announced.

Bitsy gasped and jolted back in her chair. Mindy tensed and then started to stand up but I grabbed her hand on one side and Mom grabbed the other side, holding her down.

I turned to Mindy and put a hand to her knee. “Yesterday, darling, yesterday you said you didn’t want anyone to know. And, I promise you, in anything else, anything else, I would respect your wishes.” I lifted my hand from her thigh, cupped her cheek and whispered, “Not this. This is too important.”

“Neens, I can’t do this,” Mindy whispered back, tears filling her eyes, fear stark on her face and my courage took a direct hit but I forged onward.

“Oh yes you can, sweetheart, you can because you’ve got strong women all around you and we’re going to help you do this,” I told her and the tears slid down her cheeks. “You know I was beaten by my boyfriend. You know that Bitsy’s legs were taken away and all that happened to her recently. What you don’t know is that my Dad cheated on my Mom while she was pregnant with me and left her without looking back at either of us for seven years. She’s now married to the love of her life and happy as a clam.”

“Neens –” Mindy whispered on a ragged breath.

“What I’m saying is, life socks it to us and we survive.”

“Neens –”

“We fight.”

She shook her head and the tears continued to fall.

“And when we can’t fight, we learn to turn to others who’ve learned life’s lessons, who’ve survived, who’ll gather close and help us make it through.”

She kept shaking her head and tried to pull away but I dropped her hand and grabbed her face with both of mine.

My voice was fierce when I said, “Mins, we don’t give up.”

I heard crying, Mindy’s and others, maybe Barb, but I kept my eyes glued to Mindy.

“We never give up.”

“Neens –”

I interrupted again and said, “You’re loved.”

“I know,” she whispered, her face blanching at the same time it flinched, what she did to those who cared about her the day before scored into her features.

“No one is angry at you,” I assured her. “We all understand.”

She shook her head. “No you don’t.”

“Oh yes, darling, we do. And we hurt for you and that’s a beautiful thing.”

“It isn’t.”

“It is. To be that loved, Mindy, it’s beautiful.”

She closed her eyes tight and then opened them.

“You’re strong.” It was an accusation.

“I’m not. What I am is someone who has a great Mom, I had a wonderful brother and I have a lot of good friends who helped me through. They taught me things along the way, filled me up with something that I could keep with me and I didn’t know what it was, not until now. I didn’t know they were filling me with something I could give away when it was my time to give. Something that I’m giving now, to you.”

She bit her lip and swallowed before whispering, “I can’t stop thinking about it.”