The Gamble

I didn’t want to hear this, not from Harry.

“Harry, Max and I haven’t –” I started but he kept talking.

“He asked her out and that was it, she was his. The whole town thought them bein’ together was so sweet, so f**kin’ sweet. Everyone thought it was like Cinderella. Anna wantin’ him for so long, watchin’ him from afar, never had a boyfriend, no one but Max. Max bein’ Max, every girl wantin’ a piece of him. Anna’s impossible dream bein’ possible and them hookin’ up, gettin’ so tight, fallin’ in love.” He shook his head and downed another healthy sip before continuing, “Even when he went off to CU, got that scholarship to play ball but got her pregnant his sophomore year. He quit school and came home and married her. Everyone thought it was so romantic. He was such a good f**kin’ guy, givin’ up his dream of bein’ an architect, doin’ the right thing by Anna. Jesus.”

As this information pummeled me, I was beginning to breathe heavily and my heart was skipping in my chest. I wanted to run away, slide off my stool and run back to the safety of Max’s arms, to the time when I didn’t know this. I realized, after all that time thinking I wanted to know that, actually, I didn’t want to know.

“Please, Harry, listen to me a second –” I begged but he kept talking.

“And you know what? He was never pissed about it. Never thought about what coulda been. Never angry that she derailed his life, gettin’ knocked up. He was f**kin’ happy about that baby, thrilled to put a ring on her finger. Over the f**kin’ moon. She was happy too. They were so f**kin’ happy. Even when she lost the kid. And the next one. And the one after that.”

I was no longer breathing heavily, I wasn’t breathing at all.

“They quit tryin’ but hey,” he threw his hand out, “that’s okay. They had each other and for the Great Max and the Beautiful Swan Anna, that was enough. It was everything. Fuck,” he muttered and took another sip.

I forced air into my lungs but didn’t get a word in before Harry spoke again.

“Then Curt kills her.”

The breath I’d pulled in squeezed out as my chest froze but Harry kept right on going.

“Jesus, tore the whole town apart. Thought they’d hunt Curt down, hell, thought Max’d do it. Max was un… fuckin’… done. Never seen a man like that. Never. Fuckin’ shit, he was wild. All anyone could think about was Anna bein’ dead and Max losin’ her and, finally, Max mannin’ up and not seekin’ retribution. And wasn’t Max so great that he didn’t lose it and whale on Curt? Wasn’t he so f**kin’ wonderful that, when his world came crashin’ down, in the end he kept his shit together? No one thought about Curt takin’ Bitsy’s legs, leavin’ her in that chair and Curt walkin’ away unscathed. All anyone could think about was the end of Max and Anna, the death of a damned fairytale.”

“Maybe I should –” I whispered, wanting to get away, desperate to get away but somehow glued to my stool.

Harry kept right on talking. “Then everyone talks, they see him playin’ the field, they know he ain’t serious with no one. Never again. Anna was everything to him. How sad,” Harry hissed. “How tragic.” Harry shook his head and took another sip before he continued his diatribe. “Such a good man, losin’ everythin’ at the age of twenty-fuckin’-seven, heartbreakin’. Max is untouchable, his heart’s so broken, they said, no one’ll ever get in again. No one noticed he was f**kin’ everything that moved, leavin’ ‘em high and dry, never lettin’ ‘em get a piece of him. Everyone knew he did it everywhere, takin’ jobs outta town, had women here, had women at his jobs, had f**kin’ women everywhere.”

“I should –” I started to slide from the stool but Harry’s eyes pinned me to the spot.

“Then you blow into town, you.” His voice got low, his eyes did a sweep of me again and he continued, “The way you look, the way you talk, the way you dress, pure f**kin’ class. No one knows who you are, you come from f**kin’ England and suddenly you’re makin’ out with him at The Dog, pressed to him like he was some kind of God or somethin’. You’re hot, you could have anyone, point your finger at anyone in this bar, you’d have him,” he informed me. “So of course he’d nail you.”

“It isn’t like that,” I whispered.

His brows shot up. “No? So he’s let you in? All the ones before you and he’s let you in? You’re hot, Nina, shit, I’d do you in a second, count my lucky stars someone like you gave me a shot, twist myself into knots to lay the world at your feet, so maybe he has. What do I know? You can probably give him a baby, Anna couldn’t do that. But, you should know, girl, and not anyone’s gonna tell you this but me, everyone hopin’ you’re the one, you’re the one that’ll heal all his f**kin’ wounds. You’re hot, you’re sweet, you’re even funny. But you should know, what you ain’t is Anna.”

It was a wonder I didn’t fall off my stool straight to the floor, his verbal blow was so vicious.

Instead, I swallowed and suggested, “Maybe I should leave you to it.”

He lifted his drink but offered, “You get the urge to heal my wounds, gorgeous, just say the f**kin’ word.”

I sucked in breath, deciding this was not Harry, this was drink and anger and Shauna being such a bitch and him taking care of her for so long, it was all that talking. Therefore, I thought I should make some effort to help.

I leaned forward, telling him, “She isn’t worth this, Harry.”

Harry looked away and took a sip before he asked, “Yeah?”

“I know Max is a friend. He’s been your friend a long time. You’re saying this because you’re angry about Shauna and, Harry,” I put my hand on his forearm, “she isn’t worth this.”

Harry’s eyes went across the bar to Max, his mouth got hard and he downed the last of his drink.

Then he looked at me. “Yeah, Nina, you’re right. ‘Course. I got sloppy seconds from Max with Shauna. Thirds, you count Curt. So you’re right, she ain’t worth it.”

“You’re a good guy, Harry,” I said gently and Harry’s face twisted in a way that was so hostile, so frightening, it was difficult to witness and I felt my body go completely still.