The Gamble

“Yeah,” he said again, “a good guy.” He leaned into me and whispered, “So good, I’ll repeat myself because I figure you’re a good woman and you deserve it and you might be wrapped up in him now but one day you’ll learn you coulda done better. He loved her, Nina, she was his world. When a woman is a man’s world and he loses her, ain’t nothin’ gonna take the place of that and you gotta know that. This is somethin’ he wants, Max’ll do good by you but he’ll know and the whole town’ll know, you ain’t that to him, what Anna was, you never will be. So I’m thinkin’, bein’ a good guy and all, you should know that too.”

I sat there stunned silent, my heart beating madly, my lungs hurting, the tears burning the backs of my eyes, all my worst imaginings come true in Harry’s brutally honest drunken blather.

Harry held my eyes then his hand covered mine on his arm, his face gentling and he kept whispering, “Shit, Nina, I’m a dick.”

I leaned away and slid my hand out from under his, saying quickly, “That’s okay.”

“I’m just pissed. Shauna made me look the fool.”

“I understand.”

He leaned into the space I vacated, looking like he’d teeter right off his stool. “Nina, seriously, don’t listen to my shit. Max’s a good guy. I’m just bein’ an ass**le.”

“Right,” I whispered. “I… I need some fresh air. Um… do… do you want a ride home? I could ask Brody, my stepdad, Steve –”

He shook his head. “I’ll ask Jake to call Thrifty’s, get me a taxi.”

I nodded my head. “I’m just going to step outside a minute.”

“Nina –” he started but I moved as fast as I could to escape.

I left my untouched beer on the bar and started toward the door, lifting my hand to pull my hair out of my face. Holding it at the back of my head in a bunch, I looked over to the pool tables. Max had his back to me and I watched him lean over, lining up a shot.

I looked to Mom’s table and saw Arlene, Linda and Jenna leaned into Mom, listening with rapt attention likely to Mom telling some crazy, but true, story.

But Kami’s eyes were on me.

That was fine. In the dark of the bar she couldn’t see what I was certain my face looked like and even if she could, she was Kami. She wouldn’t care.

I headed out the door without my coat, the chill night air instantly biting into my skin and I welcomed it. Something to focus on, something not the jumble of thoughts piercing my brain. I looked to my right, my left then headed right to the end of the building where an overhead light illuminating the parking lot was out. Darkness, aloneness, somewhere to get my thoughts together or, better yet, force them out of my head.

I leaned against the building, taking in deep breaths, feeling the tears hovering at the edges of my eyes, one escaped and I felt it slide down my cheek.

How could one minute, hope be so precious in my heart that I’d be something to Max, something special, the best he ever had. And then the next… nothing.

Void.

Empty.

She was his world, Harry said about Anna.

She was his world.

She was his world.

Sweetheart, Charlie said into my head, he was drunk, acting like an ass. Talking shit.

“Go away,” I whispered into the darkness.

“Nope, not until you tell me where Mindy is.”

My head came up and twisted around and I stared in shock and not a small amount of fear at Damon Matthews standing three feet in front of me.

Just what I didn’t bloody need.

I straightened from the building and looked over my shoulder at the entrance. Damon filled my vision, having moved to cut off my escape route.

“I’m talkin’ to you, English. Where’s Mindy?”

My eyes went to his. “Mindy?”

“Yeah, Mindy,” he clipped, his face snide. “Remember her?”

“Damon, she’s –”

“Not answerin’ her f**kin’ phone, that’s what she’s doin’.”

“Mindy is dealing with some things now,” I explained.

“Yeah, who isn’t?” He took a step forward, I took a step back and he stopped. “See, she ain’t home, she ain’t at Becca’s, she ain’t comin’ to work, she ain’t answerin’ her phone.” He took another step forward and I took a step back, my legs hitting the bumper of a parked car and I stopped but he closed in. “Brody’s stayin’ at our place, the locks’ve been changed, I can’t get to my shit. Landlord says Maxwell moved my shit in a unit and I gotta pay the rent on it before I can get my own… fuckin’… shit.” On the last three words, he leaned into me, so close I was pinned to the car and I reared back as far as I could, putting my hand to the bonnet to stop from toppling over.

“Got a problem, Damon?” I heard and I leaned to the side to see Kami standing behind Damon.

Damon straightened and turned to Kami. “Shove off, Kams.”

“Don’t mean to be tellin’ you your business, Damon, but Max sees you out here gettin’ in Nina’s face, he’s not gonna be pleased,” Kami told him.

“Fuck Max.”

“Just tryin’ to be nice,” Kami said and normally I would have laughed at the concept of Kami being nice but I was too scared out of my wits to even crack a smile.

“You know where Mindy is?” Damon returned to his earlier topic.

“I know you get anywhere near her, I’ll cut your balls off and nail ‘em to the doors of Town Hall,” Kami replied casually and my eyes got big at her words and the coolness with which she delivered them, especially since Damon could probably twist her into a pretzel.

“Kami,” I whispered.

“Yeah?” Damon sneered over my saying her name, leaning threateningly toward Kami.

Kami leaned in too and sneered back, “Yeah.”

They had a staring contest while I held my breath and then surprisingly Damon looked away, muttering, “Fuckin’ bitch.”

“Word of advice, Damon, keep outta Nina’s space, yeah? Mindy and Nina, boy, both off limits to you. You hear me?”

“Fuck off.”

Kami looked at me and stated, “He heard me.”

Damon gave me a look that would blister paint off the walls but I just held his eyes until he turned and marched away.

I stepped away from the car and looked at Kami. “Thanks.”