The Gamble

“Baby,” he said softly as he tipped his head so his face was all I could see and the emotion welled up in me, threatening to split open my skin.

I shook my head, short, quick, frantic shakes.

“No, Max, no, not now, please,” I whispered my entreaty.

He dropped my wrist but his hand curled around my neck and he gave me what I needed. “All right, honey, we’ll talk later.”

I nodded, grateful, then fell forward and pressed my forehead to his chest.

“I need a second before I go out there,” I said quietly to his chest.

“You can have as many as you need.”

I took in a shaky but deep breath before I muttered, “Stop being nice.”

He didn’t say anything, didn’t move, just stood, one hand to my hip, one hand at my neck, my hands went to his waist and I held on.

After awhile, I said, “All right.”

He kissed the top of my head and repeated my words, “All right.”

Then he grabbed my hand and walked me to the door, opened it and led me out.

A redheaded woman, her long, strawberry blonde hair streaked liberally and attractively with white, was sitting on the bed, her back to me, facing Mindy as well as hiding Mindy from me. An older, mountain man stood by the side of the bed next to her, Becca next to him. None of them turned to me and the woman was whispering to Mindy.

Max silently walked me through the room and I started to pull my gaze away from the bed, knowing Mindy was okay, she was safe, she was with her family but Brody’s eyes came to me.

My step faltered at what I saw burning there and Max’s hand tightened in mine, his arm twisting, he brought me up close as he tucked our hands against the side of his chest. He kept me moving but my head turned as we walked, my eyes held by Brody’s, tears pricking the backs of mine.

Brody nodded to me when Max and I hit the stairs. I nodded back and sucked in another unsteady breath when I watched one lone tear fall from his tough-guy, mountain-man eye.

He turned his head away and Max winded us down the stairs.

* * * * *

Mom and Steve had gone into town to go grocery shopping which was needed even after my huge shop a week ago considering Max had been hosting half the town for coffee, breakfast and dinner for a week. Cotton had gone with them to show them the way, not that it would be hard to find but it was a nice thing to do.

The doctor had also left and Mindy, Brody and their family were upstairs, murmuring to each other.

Max had taken a shower then gone outside to return the ATVs to the barn and I was cleaning to take my mind off everything. I’d dusted all Max’s furniture in the living room and was sweeping his wood floors, my hand still around the dust rag should I find something to polish while sweeping when Max walked into the room.

I barely glanced at him and didn’t stop sweeping when I did.

I heard his boots on the floor and had to stop when his arm hooked around my waist from behind.

“Max, I’m –” I started to protest, straightening.

“Stop cleaning, Duchess. When I’m home, got a woman, Caroline, comes up from town on Mondays, cleans the house,” he said quietly into my ear and I twisted my neck to look at him.

“No you don’t,” I declared with authority and his brows went up.

“Baby, I do.”

“No you don’t, I was here last Monday and no woman named Caroline came and cleaned the house.”

“You were delirious with fever last Monday and when you weren’t you were out. She came, cleaned around you, and left,” Max reminded me.

I’d forgotten that, not that I would remember Caroline but I forgot I was sick.

I was such an idiot.

“Oh,” I said softly.

“You clean, she won’t have anything to do, she’s too proud to take the money anyway and she can’t afford to miss a week. She’s got two kids, an ass**le husband who drinks too much and not many clients. When I’m not in town, she cleans between renters too.”

“Oh,” I repeated softly.

He turned me to face him, took the broom from my hand and the dust rag from my other.

“You need somethin’ to do, darlin’, bake that cake mix you bought in Denver. Tonight, we can use a f**kin’ cake.”

“That’s a good idea,” I whispered.

I could use cake, any cake, always could but I could especially use a yellow cake with that store bought, thick, fudgy, chocolaty frosting. It was the lazy way of baking but they didn’t have many cake mixes and not near the variety of store bought frostings in England. I missed them.

He smiled, it was small not Max’s usual beautiful grin but it was something.

Then he lifted his free hand and cupped my jaw before dipping his face close to mine.

“Anyway, duchesses don’t clean,” he whispered.

“I’m not a duchess,” I reminded him.

“Yeah, you are.”

“No, Max, I’m not.”

“You’re mine,” he told me, I held my breath as I absorbed his words and they slid through me, soothing across edges that had come up jagged through the last hour, as he concluded, “and my Duchess doesn’t f**kin’ clean.”

His thumb slid along my cheek then his hand dropped, he turned away and went to the hall closet.

Before I could allow myself any reaction, which could consist of bursting into tears; loudly declaring he was the love of my life; or running upstairs, pulling Mindy in my arms and promising one day she’ll find happiness, I hurried to the kitchen and baked a cake.

* * * * *

It was after Mom and I had made everyone sandwiches and heated Mindy some canned soup but served it with fresh baked bread Mom found in town and after the drier expelled clean, fresh clothes.

Mindy was dressed in her dry clothes, Brody had the pile of his folded and in his arm, Mom, Steve and Cotton were in the kitchen putting away the rest of what looked to be a year’s worth of groceries and Max and I were standing on the porch with Mindy and Brody.

Barb and Darren, who had been introduced to me, were in their car, idling. Becca was already backing carefully out. Jeff was long gone.

I’d put on my woolly socks and Mindy was wearing Max’s, Barb had taken her wet boots to her car.

“You’re staying with your Mom?” I asked Mindy and she nodded. “That’s good, sweetheart,” I finished quietly, she nodded again and looked away from me.

This hurt but I also understood it or at least I told myself I did.

I looked to Brody when he spoke. “You’ll come down tomorrow?”