The Last Boyfriend (Forever Love #1)(44)
Author: J.S. Cooper

“I went—”

“And was that Braydon? Didn’t I tell you not to see him? Didn’t I tell you to stay away from him?”

“He just—”

“He’s bad news, Lucky.” He shouted, his nostrils were flaring and his face was red. “I don’t know what else I have to tell you to get it through your skull. He is bad news. I don’t want to have to worry about you as well. I’m already worried about Angelique.”

“I’m sorry I’m not your precious Angelique.” I blurted out, angry at his patronizing tone.

“Are you trying to make me angry, Lucky? Are you trying to make my blood pressure rise?” He sat on the couch and I sat down next to him, hoping he would calm down. “If anything had happened to you ….”

“We just went to lunch, Zane.” I sighed. “I get it, I really do. He’s not a good guy. I saw it today.”

“Oh my God. What did he do?” Zane jumped up. “Did he give you anything?”

“No.” I shook my head. “We just went to get tacos and then he had to leave.”

“He most probably had a dropoff.” Zane said cynically.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He sighed and took a deep breath. “You can’t just leave like that Lucky, I was so worried.”

“Worried about what? I’m a big girl. I can look after myself.”

“I wasn’t worried that you were hurt, Lucky.” He turned towards me. “I was worried that you had left.”

“I would still work on the documentary if I left.”

“Fuck the documentary,” Zane cursed, and paced up and down. “I was scared you left me. I was worried all night, and then this morning, I didn’t know what to say or do. And I had to take Angelique home, and she had to go get some prescriptions. And I hurried back to apologize for how I spoke to you yesterday and you were gone. And my heart constricted. I was so worried. And you didn’t answer your phone. Why didn’t you answer your phone? I thought that you went back to Miami. That maybe you were done with me. That I was too f**ked up for you.” He came and sat back on the couch and stared at me, the intensity in his eyes made them look like shining sapphires. “I don’t want you to leave me, Lucky.”

“You don’t even know me really.” I heard my voice talking, but it didn’t sound like me. “Why would you care if I left?”

“Why would I care?” He laughed bitterly. “Maybe because you’re the first person I think about when I wake up in the morning. You’re the reason why I stayed in Miami for so long. I lived for those dates on Friday. I used to think it was because I was finally getting solid information, but it was because I got to see you. You don’t realize it, but you are such a beautiful and bright human being. Seeing your face every Friday was the highlight of my week.”

“I don’t know what to say.” My heart was soaring at his words, but I was scared to get my hopes up too high.

“When I was younger I used to read this poem by William Wordsworth and—”

“Not ‘I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud’?” I spoke up excitedly.

He nodded. “You know it?”

“I wandered lonely as a cloud, that floats on high o’er vales and hills,” I began.

“When all at once I saw a crowd, a host of golden daffodils,” he continued, and held my hand. “That’s my favorite poem.”

“It’s mine as well.” I said shyly.

“I’m used to it being me against the world. I always had to be strong. I had a brother I had to be strong for. I never wanted him to see me sad or depressed. But I was lonely.”

“I’m sure Noah appreciated it.”

“Noah wanted me to get out there.” He sighed. “Ironically, he wanted me to be weak, he wanted me to open my heart. That’s what he did. He fell in love. Over and over again. And he got his heart broken and he would retreat into himself, but then he would get better. He always got better.”

“A broken heart is a part of life, Zane.” I sighed. “You shouldn’t avoid relationships because you want to avoid pain.”

“It killed him, you know.” Zane’s voice was pained.

“A broken heart killed your brother?” I frowned, very confused. “How?”

“He never got over it. I think this time, he thought she was the one. He was so in love with her that when she dumped him, he needed something else. Something that I couldn’t give him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“He thought he could fly.”

“What?”

“The night he died, he thought he could fly.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He turned to drugs.” Zane sighed. “He was on Angel Dust, you may know it as PCP, and one night, he thought he saw Angelique waiting for him on a cloud, and he jumped off the roof of a building to join her because he thought he could fly.”

“I’m so sorry, Zane.” I squeezed his hand and tears welled in my eyes.

“It’s not your fault.” He sighed. “There are so many things I wish I could change. I wish I had been there for him more, I wish I hadn’t been so closed off. I wish I would have killed Braydon the first time he tried to offer me drugs.”

“Braydon?” my voice rose in surprise.

“That’s why I didn’t want you close to him. Braydon is a drug dealer.” Zane sounded angry.

“But he’s an actor.”

“He doesn’t make enough money to keep up his lifestyle, so he deals drugs as well.” Zane frowned. “I’ve been trying to get enough dirt on him so that he can get prosecuted as a drug trafficker. He’s responsible for my brother’s death.”

“Angelique was your brother’s girlfriend?” I hoped he wasn’t mad that I had changed the subject away from Braydon, but as soon as he had mentioned her name, my heart had stopped.

“Yes. She still feels guilty. That’s why I’ve been so concerned about her. I’m worried she’s going to do something silly.”

“I thought she was the girl you loved.” I rushed my words, suddenly feeling light. “I thought she was the girl you loved who broke your heart.”

“Angelique?” He laughed. “No, no, no. She was Noah’s girlfriend for two years. She even helped me pick this place out when they were dating. She dumped him when her career started taking off. She got a big modeling contract in Italy.”