The Unidentified Redhead (Redhead #1)(67)
Author: Alice Clayton

“Why do you think something is wrong? I had a fabulous weekend, got f**ked like it was going out of style, and … ” I trailed off.

“And?”

“He told me he loved me,” I said, raising my hands to my face.

“Shut up,” she breathed, eyes wide.

“And I might have said it back.” I grinned, peeking at her through my fingers.

“Wow. Then what the hell is wrong with you?” she asked again.

I thought for a minute, and then answered. “I feel blue, Holly.” And then the tears finally started.

I was so happy and so sad at the same time. It was bound to come out. And it came out all over her slate tiles in her gourmet kitchen. She came and sat down next to me, putting an arm around me and letting me sob.

“OK, you’re blue because you love him and you are leaving,” she stated.

“Uh huh,” I sobbed.

“And you’re blue because he loves you and he’l be three-thousand miles away.”

“Uh huh,” I cried.

“And you’re blue because he’s twenty-four and what the hell does a twenty-four-year-old movie star have in common with a thirty-three-year-old aspiring actress that is moving to New York, albeit temporarily?”

“Yes!” I wailed, clutching the can of aerosol cheese to my chest. She pried it out of my hands, replacing it with a kitchen towel.

I got calmed down while she patted my back soothingly. When I finally got myself under control, I looked at her, snot running everywhere.

“Hol, what am I going to do?”

Her eyes were thoughtful as she considered. “You’re going to decide what you want and then talk to him about it. I knew he loved you. I’m just glad he said it. You deserve to have all the facts in front of you when you talk. But you need to go into this with your eyes wide open. Things are going to be difficult … you know this. He’s going to be busy, so are you. You’ll both be pulled in two totally different directions, and they’ll be the opposite directions from where you’ll want to be.”

I blew my nose into the kitchen towel, and she grimaced, but continued.

“Talk to him, Grace. See what he wants to do. I know long distance doesn’t usually work that well, but in this industry, couples are separated all the time. You never know. Stranger things can happen. Who knew you would even get to this place?” she finished, as I watched her squirt another shot of cheese into her mouth.

I was silent for a moment.

“What’re you thinking about?” she asked.

“I’m thinking that I want some spray cheese.” I smiled slowly at her.

“I don’t believe you.” She smiled back sadly at me, but handed it over.

We sat on the floor for a while, not talking, just passing the can back and forth in the way that we used to share a joint. Cheese, marijuana … same thing really.

That night, Hol y stuck around for dinner and then mysteriously disappeared to her room. We had a lot of fun making dinner. I made grilled salmon, roasted asparagus, saffron rice and a salad. Jack assisted. He was allowed to heat the oven, stir the rice, set the table, and kiss my neck whenever he felt it looked lonely. This apparently was a lot.

After dinner, we went outside and shared one of the lounge chairs on the terrace. We engaged in the random chitchat that people do, wrapped up in each other and looking at the stars. I was looking at one star in particular, and I wondered how I was going to leave him in less than two days. I must have sighed rather heavily, because he whispered,

“What’s up, Crazy?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, snuggling back against him. He was sitting on the lounge chair, legs extended, and I was perched between them, leaning back up against him. He had his arms wrapped solidly around me.

“You’re here, but you’re not really here … you want to tell me what’s going on?” he prodded, nuzzling at my neck with his soft lips in a way that made me go all silly usually.

There was no silly right now.

I sighed again, turning on my side to face him. “I’m thinking about what happens on Tuesday, when I get on a plane and leave your sorry ass.” I smiled tiredly.

“Ah, Tuesday. Well, what do you think should happen?” he asked, looking very serious all of a sudden.

“Hell, I don’t know. I know it’s probably suicide to try to make some big proclamation right before I leave, but I’m just going to miss you so damn much.

These last few weeks have been, well, pretty f**king amazing,” I said, touching his face.

“I agree. Amazing. So why do you assume it won’t continue to be amazing?

I, for one, am looking forward to all the phone sex we’ll be having … ” He grinned, looking so handsome I almost burst into flames just being next to him.

I smiled, thinking of said phone sex, but then shook my head and focused again.

“See, that’s just it. Why would you want to have phone sex with me, when you could be having actual sex with anyone you wanted here?” I asked, quietly, not able to meet his eyes. He raised my chin and made me look at him. His eyes glowered at me.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that,” he replied shortly.

“Why? I’ll leave, and you won’t have to watch Golden Girls all the time anymore. You can go back to going out, living your hipster lifestyle, which, frankly, you should. You are twenty-four, for f**k’s sake, and I’ve been keeping you at home every night. How the hell are you not bored? There’ll be women lining up for you,” I huffed. I was getting all worked up, and quickly.

“Grace, you seem to be under the impression that I tell women I love them all the time. Can I tell you how often I’ve said that to anyone other than my family? Twice. That’s it, in my entire life, twice. Why would I f**k around on you?” he asked, getting heated.

“Hey, man, people in love f**k around all the time. It happens. It’s not that uncommon,” I retorted, leaning up on the chair and out of his arms.

Here comes the shit storm …

“How about the next party you’re at, and there’s a blonde and a brunette wanting to take you home with them, huh? What do you do?” I continued.

“I tell them about the redhead that I’m in love with, and then I tell them to piss off. Where the hell is this coming from?” he asked, getting angry.

“It’s coming from the fact that we’re going to be three-thousand miles away from each other, and I’m scared to death about what’s going to happen. Maybe I shouldn’t be so involved already, but I am. And even though you probably should be, I hate the idea of you with anyone else,” I said angrily, sitting up straight.