True (True Believers #1)(29)
Author: Erin McCarthy

“No, I’ll stay,” I said, striving for casual. “I would like that, too.” Actually, I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it or not. It wasn’t exactly my element, but at the same time, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted access to this other side of Tyler, the one no one at school had seen. I wanted this view of siblings, a tight bond, even in such dysfunctional circumstances.

“Cool.” Then Tyler shoved his chair back suddenly, taking his plate to the sink. His hand immediately went for his pocket to pull out a cigarette.

I stared at him, realizing that if he were a gambler, smoking would be his tell. It gave away when he was nervous or uncomfortable. He wasn’t any more at ease with us sleeping together than I was, and for some reason, that instantly made me feel better.

“What?” he asked, when he realized I was watching him.

I shook my head. “Nothing.” Maybe people weren’t so hard to figure out after all.

Ten minutes later, when Jayden and I were sitting on the couch together, plates of berries and shortcake on our laps as we watched SpongeBob on TV, I could see Tyler and Easton out of the corner of my eye in the kitchen. Their chairs were drawn close together, heads bent down over the library book Tyler had produced from his room. As Tyler’s voice carried across the room, a steady murmur as he read the story, his arm snaked over the back of Easton’s chair, and the boy’s slight form leaned almost imperceptibly into his brother’s strong embrace.

It was then that I realized it would be very easy to fall in love with Tyler Mann.

And that if I didn’t want to get my heart broken into a million pieces, I needed to be very, very careful not to do that.

Chapter Ten

I texted Kylie around ten, knowing she would worry about me. I was still on the couch and Tyler was in the bathroom. I had a feeling he was cleaning it because he’d gone in with the spray bottle and had been in there for twenty minutes.

Staying with Tyler tonight.

Where?

His place.

We’re at Nathan’s and you are not here. I’m freaking. Are you sure you’re ok? Where are you?

His house. His mom’s house.

What?!?! For reals?

Yes.

Whoa. No one goes there. Is it gross?

I didn’t want to admit that it was. Or had been. That seemed disloyal.

No. It’s fine.

O-kay.

I was guessing Nathan and Kylie and Jessica were having a discussion about where I was and why. My roommates probably didn’t understand why Tyler and I were still hanging out with each other now that we had supposedly already had sex and I had avoided him all week, but I wasn’t about to enlighten them. Besides, I didn’t exactly know what we were doing either.

Tyler came and plunked himself down next to me on my free side. Jayden had curled up with a blanket to my right, and Easton was in a velvet chair with a calico cat that had matted fur. Tyler put his hand on my knee and gave me a smile. “You doing okay?”

“Yep.”

“I have to work tomorrow at nine,” he said. “I hope that’s okay. I should have thought of that before. We’ll probably have to leave here around 8:15 to get you back and me to work on time.”

“That’s fine. That way I’ll be up and I can study before Kylie and Jess get back.”

“Nerd,” he said teasingly.

“That’s me.” It was a label I had never minded wearing. It was the truth and that was that.

“Want to go to bed soon?”

My palms went clammy and I started sweating. “Sure.” What was meant to sound nonchalant came out like a squeak. The anticipation was killing me and I just wanted to get it over with. I wanted to be done with the whole awkward first-time experience and be able to enjoy myself.

But Tyler squeezed my thigh. “Don’t look so terrified. I’m not going to try anything. That would be like luring you here under false pretenses or something.”

Did I look scared? God, how embarrassing. I was both relieved and disappointed at his words.

“Besides, I don’t have any condoms and you heard my mom—getting pregnant will f**k up your life. She’s living proof.” He seemed to think this was funny.

I wasn’t as amused. First of all, because I thought what his mother had said was horrible and I couldn’t imagine poking fun at it, but I realized he had to either laugh or be angry. But secondly, he had been in the bookstore looking to buy condoms less than two weeks ago. I’m sure he had bought them at the drugstore, and I was guessing they came in a three-pack, at bare minimum, with probably as many as twenty-four in one box. Assuming he was short on cash, which was likely, he would have bought the cheapest—the three-pack. But still, that meant he no longer had them. Which meant they’d been used. And not with me. Three times. At least.

So with who?

I didn’t think it was Jessica, because she was already campaigning for me at that point. But whoever it was, I wasn’t happy about it.

“Good point,” I told him coolly.

He stood up and said, “Sorry I can’t offer you a toothbrush or anything, but I can give you some basketball shorts to sleep in.”

“That’ll work.” I followed him down the hall to the second bedroom on the right, a small eight-by-eight box with a twin mattress on the floor. He flicked the light on, and I saw it was loaded with a sheet that had pulled free of the mattress, three pillows, a blanket, and balled-up clothes.

After shutting the door firmly, he peeled off his T-shirt and added it to the pile, which he then shoved over onto the floor. For the first time, I had a view of his bare back and I realized the tattoos weren’t contained to his arms. There was a giant elaborate cross between his shoulder blades, with a very heavy metal look to it. It spanned from one shoulder blade to the other and vertically down his spine. It was also clear how much he worked out because the muscle definition was droolworthy, and I found myself even more jealous of the unknown girl who had gotten to have sex with him when I wasn’t even going to be able to. It seemed so not fair.

“Do you mind if I take my jeans off?” he asked, finger on his fly.

“No.” Annoyed, more at myself than at him, I kicked off my boots and carefully set them in the corner, my crossbody bag next to them. I yanked off my sweater and folded it, leaving me in a cami and skinny jeans. I crawled into bed, fixing the sheet and refusing to look at his near nakedness.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

I should have said no. Most people would have. But being silently petulant wasn’t me. I had absolutely no right to be upset with him if he had slept with someone else, and I knew that. Logically.