Twice as Hot (Tales of an Extraordinary Girl #2)(91)
Author: Gena Showalter

"I have to protect myself somehow. And I wouldn’t do that if I were you." The gun cocked. He motioned to my hand with a tilt of his head, his brown eyes bright with intrigue. "Taken to your powers, I see."

I dropped my arm to my side. "I didn’t exactly have a choice. It was either feel sorry for myself over what you made me, or embrace the new me and move on with my life." He sighed but didn’t lower the gun. "I’ve done some terrible things in my life, and I’m sorry for them. I forced powers on you that you weren’t prepared to deal with. I treated my daughter like a lab rat. I was only trying to ensure that she would be well able to survive in our supernatural world, but in the process I ruined her life and my own. I’m searching for a way to undo everything I’ve done, for you, for her, but I need time to do that. I need peace, as I said. Give me peace, and I’ll do the same for you." He meant it, then. He truly didn’t want to hurt me. I took heart. And yet…I closed my eyes at the irony.

For weeks after being given my powers, I’d dreamed of nothing but finding an antidote. And now, here he was offering the hope of one, when I no longer wanted it. "And what happens if I want to keep my powers?" I asked.

His smile was sad. Did I remind him of Candace, always craving more? "Then taking the cure would be up to you. I won’t force anything else on you. But I still need my freedom." His head fell back a little and he peered up at the ceiling. "My daughter…it’s my fault she became what she did. I should have been more careful with her, should not have introduced her to this life. Please tell John to be kind to her." Someone knocked on the door. "Belle? You okay in there?"

"I’m…fine." My words trailed off. I’d glanced at the door, then back at Dr. Roberts, but he was already gone. How? Where? I dropped the ice ball into the trash can, freezing it, and pounded through the entire enclosure, opening every door, peeking into every shadow, but there was no sign. It was as though I’d imagined the entire incident. I knew better. The good doctor must have experimented on himself, as well.

Shaking, I washed my face and hands. Part of me wanted to call John and Rome right now and tell them what had happened. But the other part of me knew they’d immediately launch a search party for the doctor and then where would we be? Roberts wanted a chance to undo the damage he’d done. Perhaps we should give him one.

When I exited, there was a pretty brunette I recognized from PSI waiting for me. Her sharp gaze took my measure. She must have decided I was okay, because she nodded and went back to her table.

Jean-Luc was not so easily convinced. "You’re pale," he said as I reclaimed my seat.

"I’m fine. Really." I hoped. Had I made the right decision? Only time would tell, I guess. Ultimately, if Dr. Roberts could develop a superpower neutralizer, we could stop scrims in their tracks. And wasn’t that the point of my job?

The waiter delivered our food. I’d ordered the halibut with extra garlic sauce (a girl had to prepare for the worst and I hadn’t wanted to have to reject Jean-Luc if he tried to kiss me, so had decided to make him not want to come within ten yards of me). The delicious aroma drifted to my nose, and I inhaled deeply, allowing myself to relax. Everyone else had ordered some type of green-colored pasta.

We ate for a little while in silence, and I continued to pretend all was well. Jean-Luc would take a bite, swallow and open his mouth to say something, then press his lips together in a mulish line. Then repeat the entire process again. And again. It was…awkward.

Finally, I dropped my fork and faced him. There had to be a way to do this without crushing him. I just, well, I had to get my life in order. Being confronted by Dr. Roberts had reminded me just how quickly circumstances could change. I had to seize the moment, take what time I had with Rome while I had it.

There was also Lexis to consider, I thought with a sigh.

"You know, Jean-Luc," I said. "I like you. I do."

He released his fork, too, and it clanged against his bowl. He propped his elbows on the table and dropped his head into his upraised hands, scrubbing his face. "This the brush-off speech?"

"No." Damn it, girl. He deserves your honesty. "Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I would never back out of our deal, I hope you know that. You want the full three dates, I’ll give them to you. But I’m in love with him. That isn’t going to change, no matter how many dates we go on. I wish it would. I mean, you’re so much easier to be with than Rome."

"But?"

"But he’s the other half of me, and this date is killing him." Or at one time, it would have. Now…I traced a fingertip around my plate and only prayed that it did. "I don’t know if I have a future with him, but he’s the only man I want, and I’d rather stay single and dream of him than date anyone else." He grabbed his wineglass and drained the contents, then signaled the waiter for another glass. When it arrived, he drained it, too. Then he stared down at the tabletop for a long while.

I didn’t move. Didn’t speak.

Finally he wiped his mouth with his napkin and smiled sadly. "Stupid honesty. I could push, you know. I could use your doubts about your future against you."

"I know."

"But you don’t care. Because you love him."

"Yes."

Another sad smile. "I had hoped…well, it doesn’t matter now, I guess. You’re sweet, funny and you have the sexiest laugh I’ve ever heard, but your attraction to another man is annoying as hell."

"I know. I’m sorry."

"That’s why – that’s why I have to – Damn this. I’m releasing you from our deal." For a moment, I couldn’t react. All I could do was think how amazing this man was. A true diamond in a sea of zirconium. Then relief drifted through me. "I – Thank you, Jean-Luc." I wasn’t going to give a token protest and hurt him further. "You are a wonderful man and one day some lucky woman is going to make you very happy. She’s going to love you with her every breath." Would that woman be Lexis?

He scowled over at me. "Look. You don’t want me, fine. I’ll live. I don’t like it, I wish it were different, but I’ll live. You don’t have to patronize me."

And that was the difference between us, what really showed me that I’d made the right choice. I couldn’t live without Rome. Wouldn’t give up, had to have him. He was my drug. My addiction. Not my newfound increased powers, but him. Maybe I needed therapy, but there it was. "I’m not patronizing you. I swear. I – "

Jean-Luc threw his napkin on the table and stood, his chair skidding behind him. "Have a nice life, Belle.

I won’t be bothering you anymore. We’ll both work at PSI, but I’ll stay out of your way." Tanner and Elaine emerged from their love-cocoon long enough to throw us startled glances.