Waiting For Forever (Beautiful Surrender #4)(9)
Author: Ava Claire

I pouted, but I let him walk away. Mostly because the sight of that man’s chiseled behind was a devastatingly hot thing to behold.

"What are you in the mood for?" he called from the hallway. "I can arrange for some groceries, but I believe I have the stuff for sandwiches. Or I can order in."

I pulled my t-shirt on, hopping after him as the panties came next. "Not in the mood for anything in particular. Sandwiches are fine."

I walked into the main area, eating up his muscular chest as he filled a glass with water. He brought the glass to his lips, and I felt a fluttering between my thighs. He glanced in my direction, an eyebrow hitching. I dropped my head, kicking myself. He was like the Submissive Whisperer. He knew what I was thinking before I could even think it. And I was just broadcasting ‘I’m hungry, but the only thing in your kitchen I want is you.’

He filled a second cup with water then brought it to me. It was hard to grip the glass when all I could think about was how badly I wanted to grip him, but I managed. I guzzled the water, trying futilely to snuff out the lust that raced inside me like some wild, feral animal.

I traced the rim, avoiding eye contact. "I’m sorry."

When he didn’t follow up, I snapped my gaze to his. He had that same inquisitive look he had on his face when we first met. Trying to decipher my code.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I know we’re not in the bedroom, so the Dom and sub stuff doesn’t apply, but I…" I didn’t finish, realizing that the knot in the pit of my stomach wasn’t hunger. It was dread. I’d felt this before. Trying to be sexy for Jason, telling him how I desired him, and I was met with him pushing me away. Telling me that not everything had to cycle back to sex. And here I was, barely able to think about anything other than Logan f**king me over the counter.

"What we have, I know it’s new and fresh and everything is happening so quickly, but I want you to know that this isn’t just sex for me. Just because I can’t take my eyes off you, I don’t want you to think that’s all I’m about." I picked at my nails, not wanting him to see the pain that rushed to the surface. "I’m not just some sex crazed nympho."

"Melissa, I love every part of you. The stubborn part, the sensual part, the part that put everything else on pause to take a moment to appreciate the view back in the bedroom."

I met his eyes just in time for a stupid tear to escape from my eyes and race down my cheek. I swiped it away angrily, holding up a hand to stop him from coming to my rescue. "I’m fine. Really."

"Uh huh." His voice was low, but the sarcasm came through loud and clear. He waited expectantly for a few minutes, not saying a word, until he sighed and turned to the fridge. He pulled out meat and cheese. "Mayo? Mustard?"

"Just mayo," I answered softly. I still wasn’t ready to answer the real question. If I told him what was going on, I’d have to admit that I was still picking up the broken pieces that Jason left. If I thought tears would ruin the after sex glow, mentioning my ex would kill it dead.

I pushed off the counter, flashing him a smile that he missed because he was concentrating on opening the bread. His eyes were narrowed and pensive, like he was defusing a bomb.

"Need a hand?" I said, forcing some cheer in my voice.

He passed me the bread and grabbed two plates. "I know I haven’t done this in awhile, so I could be a little rusty." He put the plates side by side. "What we have is a relationship instead of an arrangement. But it’s not always hot sex and cuddling if memory serves. The relationship part means we talk about the hard and uncomfortable. We’re supposed to be there for each other."

I dropped two pieces of bread on one plate. "I know."

He put both hands on the counter, putting the sandwiches on the back burner. "How about I start? I built my company up from nothing. We were barely a blip on the radar, and now we’re a multi-billion dollar corporation. With all this shit with Delilah, the board is pressuring me into taking an extended vacation."

My heart went out to him. "I’m sorry, babe." I worked in marketing–image was everything. If you Googled Mason Acquisitions a few months ago, you would have gotten a totally different result than now.

He gave me a sad smile and turned back to the jar of mayo, stabbing his knife into the container and slapping the mayo onto the piece of bread. "I’m just trying to make the best of the hand I’ve been dealt. Damage control."

"I get it." I arranged the bread side by side and stepped back. "I know all this drama with Delilah is probably reminding you why you don’t get all tangled up with someone–"

"I’m glad that I’m tangled up with you."

As if I could fall for this guy any harder, he combed his fingers through my hair and kissed the tip of my nose, our foreheads touching while he stroked my cheek. "You’re the only thing keeping me together right now."

I wasn’t sure if it was his eyes or the sheer nearness of him, but the words came rushing from my mouth.

"I’ve been thinking about Jason."

Logan reared back like I’d just spit on him. "What?"

"Oh no!" I said, realizing that sentence alone sounded really bad. "It’s not like that. Me and Jason? We’re done. Period. But he’s still there. Lurking beneath the surface." I needed to do something with my hands, so I started piling the meat on the bread. "I got so used to feeling like sex and desire was routine. Not as important as love. Sex was just something we did. And for me to want it all of the time, to want him to be aggressive and take me, use my body for his pleasure–it was the ultimate sin." I closed the sandwich, wishing I could close that chapter of my life. Wishing it was that easy. "Being with you…I love every minute of it. I just don’t want to screw it up." My nostrils flared, a terrible thought scratching through my mind. "I just got you back, if I lost you again-"

He pulled me back where I belonged, head against his chest. I relaxed in his arms, reminding myself that what we had was different. He wasn’t Jason. Love with Logan wasn’t black and white. All or nothing.

Love with Logan was freedom.

"Any man that ever made you feel anything short of incredible is out of his mind."

He fisted my hair and I arched into him, our lips colliding. There was no breaking for air, no concern for anything but discovering how many kisses it would take to make the world fade away.

His cell jingled over on the couch and he paused the onslaught, giving me one final peck before he made his way to his phone. Sensing the huff that was descending on me, he threw me a smile over his shoulder. "Normally, I wouldn’t answer, but I’m playing friendly with Delilah. It could be about the baby." He picked it up, frowning at the screen. "It’s not me. Must be you."