Walking Disaster

She nodded and I leaned over to kiss her cheek, squeezing her hip with my fingers before following Trenton into the game room.

We sat down in the card room, settling in for a friendly game of dominoes.

Trenton broke out the box, cursing the cardboard for slicing the underside of his fingernail before dealing out the bones.

Taylor snorted. “You’re such a f**king baby, Trent, just deal.”

“You can’t count anyway, douche. What are you so eager about?”

I laughed at Trenton’s comeback, drawing his attention to me.

“You and Abby are getting along well,” he said. “How did this all work out?”

I knew what he meant, and I shot him a glare for broaching the subject in front of the twins. “With much persuasion.”

Dad arrived and sat down. “She’s a good girl, Travis. I’m happy for you, son.”

“She is,” I said trying not to let the sadness show on my face.

Abby was busy cleaning in the kitchen, and it seemed I spent every second fighting the urge to join her. It may have been a family holiday, but I wanted to spend every spare moment with her that I could.

A half hour later, grinding noises alerted me to the fact that the dishwasher had been started. Abby walked by to wave quickly before making her way to the stairs. I jumped up and took her hand.

“It’s early, Pidge. You’re not going to bed, are ya?”

“It’s been a long day. I’m tired.”

“We were getting ready to watch a movie. Why don’t you come back down and hang out?”

She looked up the stairs and then down to me. “Okay.”

I led her by the hand to the couch, and we sat together as the opening credits rolled.

“Shut off that light, Taylor,” Dad ordered.

I reached behind Abby, resting my arm on the back of the couch. I fought wrapping both my arms around her. I was wary about her reaction, and I didn’t want to take advantage of the situation when she was doing me a favor.

Halfway through the movie, the front door flew open, and Thomas rounded the corner, bags in hand.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” he said, setting his luggage on the floor.

Dad stood up and hugged him, and everyone but me stood to greet him.

“You’re not going to say hi to Thomas?” Abby whispered.

I watched my dad and brothers hug and laugh. “I got one night with you. I’m not going to waste a second of it.”

“Hi there, Abby. It’s good to see you again.” Thomas smiled.

I touched Abby’s knee. She looked down, and then back to me. Noticing her expression, I took my hand off her leg and interlocked my fingers in my lap.

“Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?” Thomas asked.

“Shut up, Tommy,” I grumbled.

The mood in the room shifted, and all eyes fell on Abby, waiting for an explanation. She smiled nervously, and then took my hand into both of hers.

“We’re just tired,” she said, smiling. “We’ve been working all evening on the food.” Her cheek pressed into my shoulder.

I looked down at our hands and then squeezed, wishing there was some way I could say then how much I appreciated what she’d done.

“Speaking of tired, I’m exhausted.” Abby breathed. “I’m gonna head to bed, baby.” She looked to everyone else. “Good night, guys.”

“Night, sis,” Dad said.

My brothers all said good night, and watched Abby make her way up the stairs.

“I’m gonna turn in, too,” I said.

“I bet you are,” Trenton teased.

“Lucky bastard,” Tyler grumbled.

“Hey. We’re not going to talk about your sister like that,” Dad warned.

Ignoring my brothers, I jogged up the stairs, catching the bedroom door just before it closed. Realizing she might want to get dressed, and wouldn’t be comfortable doing it in front of me anymore, I froze. “Did you want me to wait in the hall while you dressed for bed?”

“I’m going to hop in the shower. I’ll just get dressed in the bathroom.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “All right. I’ll make a pallet, then.”

Her big eyes were solid steel as she nodded, her wall obviously impenetrable. She picked out a few things from her bag before making her way to the bathroom.

Digging in the closet for sheets and a blanket, I spread out the linens on the floor beside the bed, thankful we’d at least have some time alone to talk. Abby emerged from the bathroom, and I dropped a pillow on the floor at the head of the pallet, and then took my turn in the shower.

I wasted no time, quickly scrubbing the soap all over my body, letting the water rinse away the suds as soon as they lathered. Within ten minutes, I was already dried off and dressed, walking back into the bedroom.

Abby lay in bed when I returned, the sheets as high on her chest as she could get them. The pallet wasn’t nearly as inviting as a bed with Abby snuggled up inside. I realized my last night with her was going to be spent awake, listening to her breathe just inches away, unable to touch her.

I turned off the light, and situated myself on the floor. “This is our last night together, isn’t it?”

“I don’t wanna fight, Trav. Just go to sleep.”

I turned over to face her, propping up my head with my hand. Abby turned over, too, and our eyes met.

“I love you.”

She watched me for a moment. “You promised.”

“I promised this wasn’t a stunt to get back together. It wasn’t.” I reached up a hand to touch hers. “But if it meant being with you again, I can’t say I wouldn’t consider it.”

“I care about you. I don’t want you to hurt, but I should have followed my gut in the first place. It would’ve never worked.”

“You did love me, though, right?”

She pressed her lips together. “I still do.”

Every emotion washed over me in waves, so strong that I couldn’t tell one from the other. “Can I ask you for a favor?”

“I’m sort of in the middle of the last thing you asked me to do,” she said with a smirk.

“If this is really it . . . if you’re really done with me . . . will you let me hold you tonight?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Trav.”

My hand gripped tight over hers. “Please? I can’t sleep knowing you’re just a foot away, and I’m never gonna get the chance again.”

Abby stared at me for a few seconds, and then frowned. “I’m not having sex with you.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.”

Abby’s eyes darted around the floor for a bit as she contemplated her answer. Finally shutting her eyes tight, she scooted from the edge of the bed, and turned down the covers.

I crawled into the bed beside her, hastily pulling her tight into my arms. It felt so incredible that coupled with the tension in the room, I struggled not to break down.

“I’m going to miss this,” I said.

I kissed her hair and pulled her closer, burying my face into her neck. She rested her hand on my back, and I sucked in another breath, trying to breathe her in, to let that moment of time burn into my brain.

“I . . . I don’t think I can do this, Travis,” she said, trying to wriggle free.

I didn’t mean to restrain her, but if holding on meant avoiding that deep burning pain I’d felt for days on end, it just made sense to hang on.