Walking Disaster

“I can’t do this,” she said again.

I knew what she meant. Being together like that was heartbreaking, but I didn’t want it to end.

“Then don’t,” I said against her skin. “Give me another chance.”

After one last attempt to break free, Abby covered her face with both hands and cried in my arms. I looked up at her, tears burning my eyes.

I pulled one hand gently away and kissed her palm. Abby took a staggered breath as I looked at her lips, and then back to her eyes. “I’ll never love anyone the way I love you, Pigeon.”

She sniffed and touched my face, offering an apologetic expression. “I can’t.”

“I know,” I said, my voice breaking. “I never once convinced myself that I was good enough for you.”

Abby’s face crumpled and she shook her head. “It’s not just you, Trav. We’re not good for each other.”

I shook my head, wanting to disagree, but she was half right. She deserved better, what she’d wanted all along. Who the f**k was I to take that from her?

With that recognition, I took a deep breath, and then rested my head against her chest.

I AWOKE, HEARING COMMOTION DOWNSTAIRS.

“Ow!” Abby yelped from the kitchen.

I jogged down the stairs, pulling a T-shirt over my head.

“You okay, Pidge?” The cold floor sent shock waves through my body, starting with my feet. “Shit! The floor’s f**king freezing!” I jumped on one foot, and then the other, causing Abby to stifle a giggle.

It was still early, probably five or six, and everyone else was asleep. Abby bent over to push the turkey into the oven, and my morning tendency to protrude through my shorts had even more of a reason to do so.

“You can go back to bed. I just had to put the turkey in,” she said.

“Are you coming?”

“Yeah.”

“Lead the way,” I said, sweeping my hand toward the stairs.

I yanked my shirt off as we both shoved our legs under the covers, pulling the blanket up to our necks. I tightened my arms around her as we shivered, waiting for our body heat to warm the small space between our skin and the covers.

I looked out the windows, seeing large snowflakes fall from the gray sky. I kissed Abby’s hair, and she seemed to melt against me. In that embrace, it felt like nothing had changed.

“Look, Pidge. It’s snowing.”

She turned to face the window. “It kind of feels like Christmas,” she said, lightly pressing her cheek against my skin. A sigh from my throat prompted her to look at me. “What?”

“You won’t be here for Christmas.”

“I’m here, now.”

I pulled my mouth into a half smile, and then leaned down to kiss her lips. Abby pulled back and shook her head.

“Trav . . .”

I held on tight and lowered my chin. “I’ve got less than twenty-four hours with you, Pidge. I’m gonna kiss you. I’m gonna kiss you a lot today. All day. Every chance I get. If you want me to stop, just say the word, but until you do, I’m going to make every second of my last day with you count.”

“Travis—” Abby began, but after a few seconds of thought, her line of sight lowered from my eyes to my lips.

Not wanting to hesitate, I immediately bent down to kiss her. She kissed me back, and although I’d just meant for it to be short and sweet, my lips parted, making her body react. Her tongue slipped into my mouth, and every part of me that was warm-blooded male screamed for me to go full steam ahead. I pulled her against me, and Abby let her leg fall to one side, welcoming my hips to fit tightly between her thighs.

Within moments, she was naked beneath me, and it took just two quick motions for me to remove my clothes. Pressing my mouth against hers, hard, I gripped the iron vines of the headboard with both hands, and in one quick movement, pushed myself inside her. My body instantly felt hot, and I couldn’t stop moving or rocking against her, unable to control myself. I moaned into Abby’s mouth when she arched her back to move her hips against mine. At one point she flattened her feet on the bed so she could raise up to let me slip inside of her fully.

With one hand on the iron, and the other on the nape of Abby’s neck, I rocked into her over and over, everything that had happened between us, all the pain I’d felt, forgotten. The light from the window poured in as beads of sweat began to form on our skin, making it a little easier to slide back and forth.

I was just about to finish when Abby’s legs began to quiver, and her nails dug into my back. I held my breath and thrust into her one last time, groaning with the intense spasms throughout my body.

Abby relaxed against the mattress, her hairline damp, and her limbs limp.

I breathed as if I’d just finished a marathon, sweat dripping from the hair above my ear and down the side of my face.

Abby’s eyes lit up when she heard voices murmuring downstairs. I turned on my side, scanning her face with pure adoration.

“You said you were just going to kiss me.” She looked at me the way she used to, making it easy to pretend.

“Why don’t we just stay in bed all day?”

“I came here to cook, remember?”

“No, you came here to help me cook, and I don’t report for duty for another eight hours.”

She touched my face, her expression preparing me for what she might say. “Travis, I think we—”

“Don’t say it, okay? I don’t want to think about it until I have to.” I stood up and pulled on my boxers, walking over to Abby’s bag. I tossed her clothes to the bed, and then yanked my T-shirt over my head. “I want to remember this as a good day.”

It seemed not long after we awoke, it was lunchtime. The day raced by, far too f**king fast. I dreaded every minute, cursing the clock as it approached the evening.

Admittedly, I was all over Abby. It didn’t even matter that she was putting on a show, I refused to even consider the truth while she was next to me.

When we sat down for dinner, Dad insisted that I carve the turkey, and Abby smiled with pride as I stood up to do the honors.

The Maddox clan annihilated Abby’s hard work, and showered her with compliments.

“Did I make enough?” She laughed.

Dad smiled, pulling his fork through his lips to get it clean for dessert. “You made plenty, Abby. We just wanted to tide ourselves over until next year . . . unless you’d like to do this all over again at Christmas. You’re a Maddox, now. I expect you at every holiday, and not to cook.”

With Dad’s words, the truth seeped in, and my smile faded.

“Thanks, Jim.”

“Don’t tell her that, Dad,” Trenton said. “She’s gotta cook. I haven’t had a meal like this since I was five!” He shoveled half a slice of pecan pie into his mouth, humming with satisfaction.

While my brothers cleared the table and washed the dishes, I sat with Abby on the couch, trying not to hold her too tight. Dad had already turned in, his belly full, making him too tired to attempt to stay awake.

I pulled Abby’s legs onto my lap, and slipped off her shoes, massaging the soles of her feet with my thumbs. She loved that, and I knew it. I might have been trying to subtly remind her about how good we were together, even though I knew deep down that it was time for her to move on.

Abby did love me, but she also cared about me too much to send me packing when she should. Even though I’d told her before that I couldn’t walk away from her, I finally realized that I loved her too much to f**k up her life by staying, or to lose her completely by forcing us both to hang on until we hated each other.