A Want So Wicked (A Need So Beautiful #2)(52)
Author: Suzanne Young

Harlin’s entire body tenses, his muscles rigid. “I’m going to kick his ass for touching you,” he growls. “And for wrecking my bike.”

“I’m glad I came first in that sentence.”

“Baby, you always come first. And I don’t care what Abe is—I’m going to kill him.”

“You could never kill anything,” I say.

“Oh, I’ll make an exception just this once.”

Harlin’s homicidal urges slowly start to fade, and he gets me a cup of water and has me sip from it, noting that the color is returning to my skin. We sit on the bed, quiet until there’s a sharp knock at the adjoining door. The clock reads four a.m.

“I can’t even begin to handle Monroe Swift right now,” Harlin says, rubbing his face. “But I’m guessing you’re here to talk to him too.”

“The thought crossed my mind.”

Harlin stands, shooting me a helpless glance before opening the door.

Monroe is there, buttoning his blue collared shirt. “Thank you,” he says, not looking up. “Now, I know it’s early, but I thought I should—” He lifts his head and stops when he sees me sitting on the edge of the mattress.

Monroe Swift has taken care of me—Charlotte—since I was seven years old. A family friend, a father figure, a Seer—he’s known me longer and better than anyone. Monroe is not just family, not just friend. He remembers me. And other than Harlin, he’s the only person who knows Charlotte ever existed.

“She remembers,” Harlin says before going to lean against the dresser. “She remembers everything, which I’m sure includes how obnoxious you can be.”

“Ah, well, that’s good,” Monroe says. “That way we can skip the formalities.” He eases down next to me on the bed and exhales heavily. Harlin and I exchange worried looks.

“How are you, sweetheart?” Monroe asks me once he’s settled. I reach out impulsively and hug him, feeling how frail he’s become. The idea of Monroe dying terrifies me, as if I’ll somehow be alone without him. We stay like that for a long minute before he straightens, looking embarrassed that I’d fuss over him.

“It’s fascinating, really,” he says, running his gaze over me. “That you’re a different person and yet still so lovely.”

I close my eyes against the tears welling up. “I need your help, Monroe,” I tell him. “I have two Shadows after me, one who wants to kill me, another who wants to keep me. And I want to get rid of them both.” Monroe looks as if he’s about to argue, but I hold up my hand to stop him. “I know you hate Onika, but you didn’t always. I saw that. I had an idea earlier—that maybe if you could remember what it was like to love her, you can see how to stop her.”

His expression tightens. “What do you suggest?”

And it starts, as if my body knew what to do before I even thought it all through. My fingers tingle, my skin vibrating all over. I give in to the Need, and let it pull me into Monroe’s past.

Monroe and Onika are sitting on the steps of a large building, a college where they’re students together. Onika is wearing a summer dress, her blond hair curled at the ends. She’s laughing, and moves to rest her hand on Monroe’s knee. Monroe glances down at her fingers, his smile slipping. As if realizing the shift in his mood, Onika leans to kiss him. It’s the first day they met.

I open my eyes now and find Monroe next to me, his lids brimming with tears. “And then?” he asks softly, reliving the moments with me.

Onika is walking just ahead of Monroe, sneaking glances back at him with a devious smile. She’s wandering down a dimly lit hallway, occasionally crooking her finger to tell Monroe to hurry up. I can feel Monroe’s desire for her, his want to steal her away from her mother. To protect her. To marry her.

When they get to the doorway of her apartment, he pushes her against the wall and they kiss, murmuring words I can’t hear, but I can feel. They are in love.

The memories speed by as they talk of their future, of Onika’s past and how it tortures her. But the night she tells him about her compulsions, everything changes. Monroe listens as she sobs, his body chilling. He knows what it means and what he’s supposed to do. And when she finishes talking, he can only smile sadly. “You need to jump, darling,” he says softly. “It’s the only choice.”

Onika stormed out after screaming at him, but she doesn’t know how he cried, curled up on the floor of his living room. How he stayed up night after night, feeding on painkillers as he searched for a way to save her. And when he discovered that the collagen could keep Onika’s skin on a little longer, he rejoiced in her happiness. All she wanted was to fight her compulsion. And he swore to help her. In his heart, it was the only thing left to live for.

“I betrayed her,” Monroe says, breaking me from the thoughts. “I promised I’d fight, but when I saw what it was doing to her, I had to stop.” Tears roll down his cheeks, but he doesn’t wipe them away. “And the day she disappeared, long after she’d turned to the Shadows, was the worst day of my life. Physically she was gone, but she haunted my dreams for years—all the way up until you left. And then I thought I lost her for good.”

“She still loves you,” I say. “Her feelings for you are the only shred of humanity she has left, a part she thought she lost. Maybe if you talk to her, you can—”

“I haven’t seen Onika in years,” he says. “She won’t appear to me, even when I beg. Besides, I doubt she’ll want me to see her how she is. And I don’t think I do either.”

In his eyes I see the truth. “You want to save her,” I murmur. “You don’t want me to extinguish her.”

“I want her to have peace,” he says solemnly. “I wish only for her to have peace, but she can’t find that. No Shadow can when they can’t die.”

My heart leaps with an answer. “Onika killed a Shadow before,” I say quickly. “The man who turned her, she reached inside of his chest and . . .” I pause, trying to think of the right words. “She reached in and ripped out his soul.”

Harlin makes a noise from across the room as if he just now realized how truly dangerous Onika is. “Elise,” he starts, but Monroe cuts him off.

“Can you do that?” Monroe asks me. “You’re full of light, more light than any Forgotten—what can you do?”