Breathe

His hand flexed into my scalp but his arm around me loosened slightly as he whispered in a voice that seemed torn out of him, guttural, leaving damage in its wake, “Seriously, Faye, f**kin’ shut it.”

I shut it.

He held me close and I held onto his sweater for what seemed days before I felt him shift but only his head so his lips were at the top of my hair.

“Fuck me, what am I gonna do with you? Even when I wasn’t with you, you tried to take my goddamned back,” he muttered there and it was not a question for me so I decided not to answer.

His hand slid from the side of my head to my jaw, he tipped my head back and I hesitantly looked into his face, relieved to see he was no longer pissed way the frak off but that didn’t mean he wasn’t openly troubled.

“You f**ked up, Faye.”

I slid my lower lip to the side and bit it before letting it go and whispering, “I think I got that.”

“Now is not the time to be cute,” he warned.

I pressed my lips together.

He closed his eyes and pulled breath in through his nose.

Then he opened his eyes and ordered quietly, “You get on your computer and you talk those two down. I don’t give a shit what you gotta do. Get their promises. Get them to vow on whatever geek shit you guys hold sacred that they are not gonna do one more thing on this gig. You have to, you tell them I’ll hunt them down and arrest their asses for whatever bullshit I can dream up with illegal wire taps and hacking. Then we hope they haven’t got on radar. And we hope more they haven’t put you on radar. Because knowin’ that shit happened to Misty when my ring was on her finger, I didn’t want it there or not, eats at me every f**kin’ day. That shit happened to you, it’d kill me but not before I hunted down the man who did it to you and I made sure he was dead. I am not jokin’, not even a little bit. So get on your computer and sort their asses, baby, and do it now.”

Cautiously, my heart beating hard even as it hurt, for him and for Misty, I asked, “Did that really happen to Misty?”

“Question and answer time is after you sort those two. Not now. Go, Faye, and don’t make me tell you again.”

One could say he was being supremely bossy in a way I did not like.

Still.

Eats at me every f**kin’ day.

Frak.

Misty.

So instead of sharing with him I didn’t like him being that kind of bossy, I whispered, “Right.”

I let his sweater go, he let me go and I hustled across my apartment, taking my coat off as I went.

I threw it on an armchair then I sat in my desk chair.

On the screen I saw either Benji or Serenity had started a three person chat and there was a line of Faye, you there? over and over again.

I scrolled up, saw Chace had entered the conversation pretending to be me which wasn’t cool but I decided to share my thoughts about this when he hadn’t just lost his mind.

I took a deep breath and I put my hands to the keyboard.

Actually, guys, you were talking to Chace. Now, it’s Faye and I’m here.

Nothing then, What?!?!? This from Serenity.

And What the frak?!?!? This from Benji.

Typing hesitantly, (yes, you could type hesitantly), I shared, Chace and I are kinda together.

More nothing then, What?!?!? This from Serenity.

And What the frak?!?!? This from Benji.

Oh jeez. Here we go.

Well, actually, Chace and I are more than kinda together. We’re REALLY together. And now he knows what we’ve been doing since he was here and turned on the computer. Your chats popped up. He joined as me. You spilled the beans and he’s a little peeved. That was me finishing on an understatement.

You got to be fraking kidding!!! This was Benji.

OMG! What the hell?!?! This was Serenity.

I typed a bunch of stuff, explaining my lie (I hoped). Explaining Chace and I getting together. Telling them about Malachi and all that went down. Finally explaining why Chace was pissed, including the scary, alarming, heartbreaking new info about Misty but skirting over Chace being terrifyingly angry. Though not skirting over it too much in the hopes that they’d understand and finally back down.

So, to end, it seems this might put me in harm’s way. Chace doesn’t like that much so you have to stop or he’ll arrest you or end up on a hunt to kill the man who violated and killed me. Obviously, if this is my possible end, I’m also asking you to help with not making that happen and backing down. I finished.

There was again nothing until Serenity popped up with, It’s kinda not cool he pretended to be you.

I’ll talk to him about that later after I assure him I won’t end up riddled with bullets in a ditch because we’re being stupid. I replied.

That was when Benji came in with, I cannot fraking BELIEVE you two are TOGETHER!

I can’t either, I shared.

Is it good? Benji asked.

How to answer that?

I decided on, On a scale of one to ten with ten being how good I was sure it would be, it’s about seven thousand, six hundred, and twenty-three.

Whoa. Serenity typed. Then, Righteous.

Fraking AWESOME!!!! Benji put in.

So, seeing as I’m with the man I’ve been crushing on for forever and it’s that good, I’d like to keep it that way WITHOUT him being pissed at me. Can you help me with that? I asked.

No probs, Benji answered instantly.

Then nothing.

Serenity? I prompted.

We’re close. She pointed out and I sighed.

Maybe, maybe not and maybe we’re close to me coming to an untimely demise because we stuck our noses into something we shouldn’t. I returned.

Inara, I get you, but there’s still a murderer to be caught. Serenity replied like catching murderers was her job. Which it could be, I didn’t know. I just knew this particular murder wasn’t her job to solve (maybe).

Serenity, girl, stand down. Benji urged.

Serenity, honey, you are where you are, wherever that is, and I’m here. Someone is already DEAD. Someone else might have recently got dead because of this. I do not want to be strike three. This isn’t real to you but I’m living it. What we’re doing, from Chace’s response, tells me I could be in the path of destruction. You might be enjoying this but it isn’t fun for me. The fear I’ve been feeling as you’ve been uncovering things hasn’t been fun for me either. Something I already told you. Last, Chace was seriously pissed and although it wasn’t cool he pretended to be me with you two, honestly, in a weird way, he had the right to be. I get you but please get me. Back down. Promise me. Stop everything. For your sakes, for my sake and also for the sake of Chace and me. I begged.