Crashed

“Hmm …” He pushes off the wall and saunters slowly my way, sex personified and then some. “And where would that be?” he asks with an arch of his brow.

His nonchalance is killing me, burning a hole right through the fire raging inside of me. All I want to do is devour this man. This man who put thoughts and words and mementos of our time together and wrapped them up in one neat package for me to unravel piece by piece, allowing me to remember the significance of each and every one. And more importantly, he remembered each and every one. That they all matter to him as much as they do to me.

“Right here,” I breathe. “I belong right here with you, Colton.” I step toward him—my need, my fix, my eternal addiction—and reach out to place my hand on his cheek when all I really want is to pull him to me and hold on forever. “Thank you,” I tell him, our bodies mere inches apart but our hearts undeniably connected. “I’m speechless.”

He lets his smile spread and reaches out to play with a curl resting on my shoulder. I watch as his eyes follow his fingers. The fact that he seems nervous over my compliment, makes him that much sweeter, and this whole evening that much more meaningful.

After a beat, his eyes move slowly back to mine, crystal green swimming with emotion, a soft shrug of his shoulders. “You are the most selfless person I know. I just wanted to do something to show you how much it means to me. I wanted the boys to be a part of it all so they can show you how much it means to them too.”

Tears well in my eyes for the hundredth time today, and I swallow down the lump in my throat as I look at this man so beautiful inside and out. A man I once thought arrogant, who only looked out for himself. A man that proved me wrong in spades.

Or I guess I should say in aces.

I rub my thumb back and forth on his cheek and smile at him. “I’m floored … overwhelmed really … by everything you put into this.” I look down for a minute to try and steady the waver in my voice. “No one’s ever done something like this for me before.”

He leans in and brushes the sweetest of kisses against my lips. I try to deepen the kiss, ravenous for the rest of him, the sound of his sigh, the heat of his touch, but he pulls back, kisses the top of my nose, and then rests his forehead against mine. He brings his other hand up to match the first, fingertips tangled in my hair while palms cradle my jaw.

“So a first of sorts,” he says, the heat of his breath warming my lips.

“Yes.” I release a shaky breath, my heart pounding.

“Good, because, Ry, I want to be your first, your last, and every fucking thing in between.” He emphasizes each word as if it almost pains him to say them.

My heart squeezes because the hopes and dreams I’ve wished for us are now a possibility, but before I can truly grasp the reality of this, he leans back and looks into my eyes. He stares at me with such intensity, that it’s like he’s seeing me for the first time, and then he asks me a question that I wasn’t expecting. “Why do you love me, Rylee?”

I jostle my head and look back at him, so many things passing through my mind that I can’t get the words out, so I just laugh. He looks at me oddly, and I take advantage of the break to catch him off guard and grab the back of his neck to pull him down to me.

My lips are on his in a heartbeat, my tongue slipping between his parted lips and melding with his. I can feel his surprise in the tightening of his lips, but it dissipates in seconds as his hands reach out to mimic mine and tangle in my curls as we slip into the gentle tenderness of the kiss. I show him why I love him with the caress of my tongue, the satisfied moan in my throat, my unrequited need to always have more from him.

And although it’s not nearly enough for me, I pull back with his taste on my tongue and look him in the eyes. “I love you, Colton Donavan, for so many reasons.” I have to stop because emotion overwhelms me and I want him to see my eyes when I say this to him so that he knows with certainty why I feel how I feel.

“I love you for who you are, for everything you aren’t, for where you came from, and for where you want to go.” I let a soft smile play over my lips as I look at him, the man I love so much, and allow myself to feel everything that I’m telling him. “I love your little boy smirk hidden beneath your bad boy sneer. I love you because you’ve let me in, handed me your heart, trusted me with your secrets, and let me see the side of you that no one else has gotten to … you’ve let me be your first.” My voice breaks on the last words and tears pool in my eyes as I stare at him, overcome with emotion.

“I love that you have an affection for cotton candy and sexy-ass cars. I love this dimple right here…” I lean up and lay a kiss where it’s hiding “…and I love this right here,” I say, running my hand over the stubble on his face. “And I love these right here when you’re hovering over me, about to make love to me,” I say, squeezing his biceps as he flexes them for me and flashes me a smile. “But more than anything, I love what’s in here.” I lean forward and press a kiss to his chest where his heart thunders beneath my lips. I keep them pressed there momentarily before I look up at him beneath my eyelashes and finish the most important reason of all. “Because what’s in here, Colton, is pure and good and untouched and so incredibly beautiful it leaves me speechless, like it did today … like it is right now.”

He stares at me, muscle pulsing in his jaw as he tries to accept everything that I’ve just said to him. Our eyes are locked, our souls are bared, and our hearts are so accepting of everything the other is that we’re lost in our unspoken words.