Crashed

Within a heartbeat he pulls me into him, wraps his arms around me, and holds on tight. “Fuck, I love you,” he says, his face is buried in the curve of my neck, and I can feel the unevenness of his heated breath as he tries to compose himself.

The desperation of his touch and in his words cements everything between us as we cling to each other.

“This is what I mean,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the side of my neck, his mouth a whisper from my ear. “Tonight’s supposed to be about you—completely about you—and yet you just gave me so much that I can barely fucking breathe right now.”

He leans back and the emotion in his eyes is overpowering. Little boy, grown man, and rebellious rogue are all looking at me right now, all telling me they love me. He takes in a deep breath and forces a swallow.

“It’s impossible to be around you, Ry, and not be moved by you somehow, someway. You leave me tongue-tied and make my goddamn stomach twist in knots half the time.” He shakes his head and I smile at him, so touched by his compliments. He reaches out and moves a piece of hair from my face. “You loved me at my darkest,” he whispers, and steals my breath.

The stark reality of his words cause goose bumps to dance over my flesh and I’m speechless. His eyes glisten with moisture as he bites his bottom lip, before finding the words he needs to finish expressing himself.

“You loved me when I hated myself. When I pushed you away and tried to hurt you so that you couldn’t see … everything from my past. You accepted my fear and loved me because of it.” He shakes his head. “And then you grabbed my balls and told me non-negotiable.” We both laugh at his words, the levity of the comment allowing us to expel some of the pent up energy from this unexpectedly intense conversation.

“That still goes by the way,” I say to him with a smirk, and he leans forward and brushes his lips against mine.

“I …” He sighs. “Ry, you have given me so fucking much and today I just wanted to let you know that I get it. That I accept it now and feel it in return.” He shoves a hand through his hair and closes his eyes for a beat, followed by that shy smile I love returning to his lips.

He starts to speak and then stops to clear the emotion strangling his words before he looks back up and meets my eyes. “You gave me hope when I thought I was hopeless. You taught me that defiance is sexy as fuck, that curves are definitely my kryptonite, and that fuck blondes, because brunettes are way more fun.” I laugh, enjoying the return of my arrogant bad boy as he scrubs his hands over his face, the scratch of stubble grating through the air. “I’m fucking rambling here … not making much sense, so bear with me.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Colton,” I tell him as he leads me to a chaise lounge. I sit down and he leans on his knees, on the ground in front of me, his body between the V of my thighs, his hands holding onto my waist.

“Ry, I asked you why you love me, but what I really wanted was to tell you all the reasons I love you. It’s important for me to know you don’t doubt my feelings for you … because fuck, Ry, you’ve knocked me on my ass. You were the one thing I never wanted—never, ever expected in my life—and fuck if I can live without you now.” He laughs at his admission while my smile widens. “You test me and tempt me and make me look at the truths I don’t want to face and are stubborn as hell, but God, baby, I wouldn’t want you any other way. Wouldn’t want us any other way.” He places his hands on my shoulders, his thumbs caressing the hollow between my collarbones as he shakes his head and continues.

“I think I always knew you were so much more … but I knew I was in love with you the night of the Kids Now event … you stood in that garden and pushed me to take a chance … dared me to love you.” His voice breaks with the emotion from remembering that night.

“And then we had sex on Sex,” I add in with a laugh that earns me a sexy as hell groan from deep in his throat.

“Fuck, Ry, between stairwells and car hoods and cotton candy, I’ll never be able to escape thinking about you,” he drawls.

“That was my plan all along,” I tease with a smirk.

“Oh really? You’ve been playing me this whole time?”

“Uh-huh,” I say. “Hate the game and not the player, right?” I laugh. “Welcome to the big leagues, Ace.” The comment is off my tongue in a flash, and my sarcasm is rewarded by the grin I love spreading wide on his lips. He shakes his head, leans in to tease my lips with his, and surprises me by deepening the kiss. His tongue tempts and tantalizes me, desire coiling and need clenching every muscle south of my waist before he pulls back.

“See,” he whispers, “this is why I love you. It’s not the big things you do but the million fucking little things that you don’t even know you’re doing. It’s making me laugh because you know I’m uncomfortable talking about this kind of shit and being okay with it. It’s for making me see the world in a different light, like ice cream for breakfast and pancakes for dinner type of light.” He shakes his head and looks down momentarily.

“And this is why I love you,” I tell him. “Because no matter how uncomfortable you are expressing yourself, you know I need to hear it and you’re trying … hell you knocked it out of the park today. It was—you are—perfect.”

“I’m so far from perfect, Ry” he says with a self-deprecating laugh.

I reach out and touch him, run my hand over the line of his jaw. “You’re my kind of perfect, Colton.”