Healed (Scarred #2)(17)
Author: J.S. Cooper

I’d been in Luke’s bed many, many times, but never had we had an experience like this. This was an experience I could have once in my life and be satisfied forever. This was what making love was all about. For a fleeting moment, I thought about my experience with Bryce and I felt a pang of shame and distress. My union with Bryce had been nothing like this. I had given my virginity to him and the experience had meant nothing. I wanted to feel sorry for myself but I didn’t. In a way, I was thankful that I had had that experience, so I could appreciate even more what it was like to make love to a man I truly loved as opposed to a man I had lusted after. But still I felt guilty.

I knew that Bryce was heartbroken over his mother’s death and that he felt bad over cheating on me. I knew internally that that was his bad, but I still felt like I should have spoken to him before I came to Luke’s.

“Are you okay, Lexi?” Luke looked at me with concern. “Did I hurt you?”

“I’m fine, my love.” I kissed him and smiled. “That was amazing.”

“I thought so as well.” He grinned. “And to think that was my first time, I’ll be a regular Don Juan in a few weeks.”

“You better not turn into a Don Juan,” I laughed.

“Are you really okay?” He studied my face and I pulled him down to me.

“I’m fine.” I snuggled into his arms and closed my eyes. “This is, most probably, the best I had ever felt in my life.”

“I think I have to admit this beat out the day I found out MIT was offering me a full scholarship.” He laughed and played with my hair as I lay in his arms. I could feel him growing against my thigh again and I grinned.

“Well I’m glad to hear I beat out MIT.” I laughed and giggled as Luke tickled me in places he never had before. I turned around to face him and delighted in this next step of our relationship, but my mind was left wondering what would happen next. Now that he had brought up MIT I wanted to know if he was still going to move to Boston and if he was, what would it mean for us?

Before I had a chance to ask Luke what would come next, he kissed his way down to my womanhood and I closed my eyes as I felt him down there and he took me to places I never knew existed before.

Chapter 6

Bryce

I picked up a Barbie from the local toy store to take Shelby. I wasn’t sure if she would like it, but I figured I had pretty good odds. What little girl didn’t like dolls? I still had some time to kill after I left the store, so I decided to go and get her some flowers as well. I settled on sunflowers instead of roses. Roses seemed too grown up for a little kid. I wanted to get her sunflowers because I wanted her to know that she was like sunshine in my life. I figured she was too young to understand the symbolism, but I figured she would appreciate it when I explained it to her when she was older.

I thought about picking some flowers up for Lexi as well, but I hadn’t heard back from her after I had tried calling her back the day before. I figured she must be angry at me for what had happened with Anna. I hadn’t minded that she hadn’t called me back. I didn’t deserve it. And I wasn’t really ready to talk. Not yet. It was a big move to ask her to marry me. I wanted to make sure that I was ready. Really ready. And I honestly didn’t know if I was.

All I could think about was my mom and what she had been through. I wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t joined the marines. Maybe she would have left my dad earlier and then she’d still be alive. I tried not to let those thoughts burn and fester in my mind. I knew it wasn’t helpful. That’s what the doctor had told me. Don’t dwell on the negative, Bryce; it will only bring you down. And I tried now, more than ever, to remember what he said and to live by it. I couldn’t depend on the pills anymore.

My father told me that the funeral was going to be in a few days. I didn’t quite get it. How could it take nine months for a baby to come into the world but only a few days to bury someone once they died? I didn’t want to have to say that final goodbye. The previous night, when I was sleeping in my bed, I kept waiting to hear my mother’s footsteps as she went back and forth doing her daily chores. I was waiting to hear her singing in the shower like she always did. But all that greeted me was silence.

My father and I didn’t talk, save for him telling me about the funeral. I had nothing to say to him. And it seemed that he had nothing to say to me either. I couldn’t tell if he was upset or not. He was so hard to read these days.

“Hey, Bryce, sorry I’m late.” Luke ran up to me and joined me in the hospital lobby with a huge smile on his face.

“No worries, I just got here.” I nodded and held up the Barbie. “I stopped to get Shelby a present. I hope it’s okay.”

“She’ll love it.” He grinned and flashed a badge to the nurse behind the desk. “Let’s go up.”

“It’s okay for me to visit her?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Now she’s in remission, we don’t have to take any special precautions. And she loves visitors, so she’ll be happy to see you.”

“I wish Lexi could have come as well.” I sighed. “But she’s not talking to me right now.”

“Oh?” He looked at me quickly and turned away with a slight flush on his face. I’m sure he felt bad for me after everything that had happened.

“I think she must be mad because of Anna.”

“I guess so.” He nodded.

“She did call and leave me a message yesterday, though.” I paused. “I’m sure she must be unsure of what to do, what with my mom dying and me dropping this bombshell on the same day.”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about it.”

“I don’t know what to say.” He looked at me with worried eyes. “I hope you guys get to talk soon.”

“I’ve been thinking about proposing to her.” I laughed at his shocked expression. “I know it’s fast, but it just seems so right, you know. She’s loved me for years, and well I want her to know that I appreciate her faith in me. I just can’t believe I never really noticed her in high school.”

“Yeah, I don’t know how anyone can pass over Lexi Lord.”

“Sorry, man.” I cringed as I thought about whom I was gushing to. He most probably thought I was throwing our relationship in his face. I was pretty sure he was in love with her as well. C’mon Bryce, I thought to myself. Be a gentleman. “Anyways, I’m excited to see Shelby.”