I've Got Your Number (Page 27)
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 138
I’ve Got Your Number(27)
Author: Sophie Kinsella
Should I dash upstairs and find a match? Or some boiling water? To be honest, I think I’d take the agonizing pain over having to admit the truth—
“Damn! He’s not in.” She replaces the receiver.
“What a shame,” I manage, as Magnus appears through the kitchen door, followed by Felix, who says, “Hi, Poppy,” and then immerses himself back in the textbook he was reading.
“So!” Magnus looks from me to his parents, as though trying to assess the mood of the room. “How are you all doing? Isn’t Poppy looking even more beautiful than usual? Isn’t she just lovely?” He bunches up my hair and then lets it fall down again.
I wish he wouldn’t. I know he’s trying to be nice, but it makes me cringe. Wanda looks baffled, as though she has no idea how to reply to this.
“Charming.” Antony smiles politely, as though he’s admiring someone’s garden.
“Did you get through to Dr. Wheeler?” Wanda queries.
“Yes.” Magnus nods. “He says the focus is cultural genesis.”
“Well, I must have read that wrong,” she says tetchily. Wanda turns to me. “We’re trying to see if we can’t get papers published in the same journal. All six of us, including Conrad and Margot. Family effort, you see. Felix on indexing. Everyone involved!”
Everyone except me, flashes through my mind.
Which is ridiculous. Because do I want to write an academic paper in some obscure journal which no one ever reads? No. Could I? No. Do I even know what cultural genesis is? No.39
“You know, Poppy has published in her field,” Magnus suddenly announces, as though hearing my thoughts and leaping to my defense. “Haven’t you, darling?” He smiles proudly at me. “Don’t be modest.”
“You’ve published?” Antony wakes up and peers at me with more attention than he ever has before. “Ah. Now, that’s interesting. Which journal?”
I stare helplessly at Magnus. What’s he talking about?
“You remember!” he prompts me. “Didn’t you say you’d had something in the physiotherapy periodical?”
Oh God. No.
I will kill Magnus. How could he bring that up?
Antony and Wanda are both waiting for me to reply. Even Felix has looked up with interest. They’re obviously expecting me to announce a breakthrough in the cultural influence of physiotherapy on nomadic tribes or something.
“It was Physiotherapists’ Weekly Roundup, ” I mumble at last, staring at my feet. “It’s not really a periodical. More of a … a magazine. They published a letter of mine once.”
“Was it a piece of research?” says Wanda.
“No.” I swallow hard. “It was about when patients have BO. I said maybe we should wear gas masks. It was … you know. Supposed to be funny.”
There’s silence.
I’m so mortified I can’t even raise my head.
“You did write a thesis for your degree, though,” ventures Felix. “Didn’t you tell me once?” I turn in surprise and he’s looking at me with an earnest, encouraging gaze.
“Yes. I mean … it wasn’t published or anything.” I shrug awkwardly.
“I’d like to read it one day.”
“OK.” I smile—but, honestly, this is pitiful. Of course he doesn’t want to read it; he’s just trying to be nice. Which is sweet of him but makes me feel even more tragic, since I’m twenty-nine and he’s seventeen. Plus, if he’s trying to boost my confidence in front of his parents, it hasn’t worked, because they’re not even listening.
“Of course, humor is a form of expression which one should factor into one’s cultural narrative,” says Wanda doubtfully. “I think Jacob C. Goodson has done some interesting work on ‘Why Humans Joke.’ ”
“I believe it was ‘ Do Humans Joke,’ ” corrects Antony. “Surely his thesis was that …”
They’re off again. I breathe out, my cheeks still burning. I cannot cope. I want someone to ask about holidays, or EastEnders, or anything but this.
I mean, I love Magnus and everything. But I’ve been here five minutes and I’m a nervous wreck. How am I going to survive Christmas every year? What if our children are all superbright and I can’t understand what they’re saying and they look down on me because I haven’t got a PhD?
There’s an acrid smell in the air, and suddenly I realize the Bolognese is burning. Wanda is standing there by the stove, wittering away about Aristotle, not even noticing. Gently, I take the spoon out of her grasp and start to stir. Thank God you don’t need a Nobel Prize to do this.
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 138
- Page 138