Letting Go (Mitchell Family #1)(20)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Colt put his arms around and held me tight. “I don’t”

“I know you don’t, but everyone else does. I have become afraid to interact and associate with people in fear of what they were saying about me. I have heard the rumors about how many girls Ty was sleeping with weeks before the accident, but I stood by and spent every moment by his side. How long am I supposed to wait? It has been six months and there hasn’t been any change Colt. I will love Tyler forever, but you’re right. He would want me to live. I know that much. Maybe being with you isn’t exactly what he would of had in mind, but you are the only person in months to give a damn about me. I’m not asking for some kind of commitment, but just a promise that you will be my friend. Because right now, you are the only one I got!”

Well I had Brina, but she wasn’t exactly being there for me as much as I needed her to be.

I took a deep breath and looked into Colts eyes. He flashed a smile across his face and leaned his forehead on mine. “I will be whatever you need me to be Savanna. I promise you I will.”

It was funny how Colt kept saying the right things. I wasn’t sure about what I was going to say to him until the words came out of my mouth. Sure, I enjoyed being with Colt, but if I wanted whatever it was we had to work, I needed to let go of hoping that I would ever have something again with Ty.

I wanted to believe that someday he would wake up and everything would be the way it was supposed to be, but I had given up so much and lost everything that meant anything to me. I just wanted to breathe again. I needed to. I’d obviously just jumped into the biggest step by being with Colt. Part of me wondered if I would be considered a whore. I kept trying to rationalize what I had done. I was an adult and I made an adult decision to sleep with a beautiful man. I didn’t understand how I could feel so good and so sad all at the same time.

Colt

Savanna was hinting around that maybe we had rushed things. She hadn’t come out and said it that way, but I felt bad that she thought it.

I shouldn’t have gotten involved, or kissed her for that matter, and everything after that, well that was all on impulse. The truth was that I really liked Savanna. She was beautiful and witty and such fun to be around. Anyone that couldn’t see that was a damn fool.

After following Savanna into the bedroom, I watched her looking around through the bag she had gotten from the house last night. She seemed content with what she had and scurried back to the bathroom. I shook my head and laughed as she walked by. I sure wasn’t used to someone being so modest around me. Hell, most of the time girls were all but trying to rip their clothes off in front of me. I think that is why I really like Savanna. She was nothing like anyone I had ever been with.

My ex, well she wasn’t someone that your parents are proud of. She grew up in a double wide outside of town, with her alcoholic daddy and younger brother. When I met her, she was bartending, and trying to keep her and her brother from having to move out. Her daddy was collecting disability and the checks didn’t last long once they came in.

I felt bad for her and ended up helping her get caught up before she moved in. Her little brother had joined a band after graduation and went traveling around to different towns in our surrounding states. Her daddy stayed in the trailer and as far as I know, still lives there. I could only assume that is where she went when she had had enough of my shit.

Maybe I just had that natural attraction to charity case women. This was the second girl in a row that I had put myself out there for. I’m not saying that my ex and Savanna are similar, because they are nothing alike. Savanna is different and we have a past. Sure, we were just friends, and rocky ones at that, but she was still there in my life. Her beauty overwhelmed me and her hidden sense of humor that she kept bottled deep down inside of her was amazing.

My cousin was a damn fool. Part of me wanted to go to that hospital and just stand there giving him a piece of my mind. I knew for a fact that he fooled around on her. Every time Savanna brought up me being “that guy” I wanted to turn around and tell her she was talking about the wrong cousin. She couldn’t have been more wrong about me.

Being with Savanna was different. She was sweet and innocent and her laugh was contagious. I didn’t know what was going to happen between us, but I was willing if she was, to at least try to make something out of this.

After the past few days there was one thing I knew for sure. This summer just got a hell of a lot better, as long as I had her in my bed.

Because it was Monday, I knew that my aunt and uncle were back on the farm, so I needed to take precautions when I took Savanna to the truck to drive her back to her car. My relatives had just about shunned her from their life and the last thing they needed to see was that she had been here with me.

I didn’t even know how they would react. Hell, my uncle might even try to brawl with me over it. Sure, what we did was probably wrong, but it didn’t feel that way to me. I felt guilty, but also happy and excited. I had made Savanna smile and showed her that she had a reason to look forward. Even if this thing between us turned out to just be one crazy weekend, at least she made the first step to taking back her life. I loved my cousin, but Savanna being at his bedside every single day was just wrong. The truth was that he wouldn’t want her living the life she had been living.

Savanna and I managed to sneak off the farm undetected. I had her duck down on my lap as we drove down the dirt road adjacent to the property, just in case.

We drove straight to the old barn where Savanna had parked her car the other night to meet me. She hadn’t said much about what was going to happen next between us. I had brought up the topic and she seemed liked she was interested, but women had trouble making up their minds sometimes.

As I put the truck in park I looked over at Savanna. She had brushed her hair after her shower and let it air dry. It resulted in natural waves all over her head. I couldn’t help but reach over and run my hand through it. “You still feel like getting’ somethin’ to eat?”

She turned to me and smiled. “Of course Colt. Why would you think I would change my mind?”

I shrugged. “Just makin’ sure Darlin’. I don’t want to make you upset.”

She scooted over on the bench seat so that she was closer to me. Her hand played with the collar of my t-shirt. “How about we drop off this hot ass truck at my dorm and grab something in town?”

I smiled and stroked her cheek. “I reckon that’s a fine idea.”