Letting Go (Mitchell Family #1)(63)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I knew she was joking. “As long as they all look like you.” I said before kissing her.

Our kiss was interrupted by Ty’s big mouth downstairs. “Get your asses down here!”

“We better go downstairs.” I suggested.

We got to the bottom of the steps and my cell phone started ringing. I rushed over to the table by the front door and noticed it was my aunt’s number. “Hello?”

“Colt it’s me. You need to get to the hospital right away.”

I didn’t have to ask questions to know something bad had happened. “I am leavin’ now.”

When I hung up the phone, everyone was standin’ there waitin’ for me. We all ran out to my Mustang and started driving. I’d never driven fast with Savanna in the car, and I got the impression I scared the shit out of her. My father’s life was hangin’ on the line. I needed to get to that hospital before it was too late. I had to tell him I loved him, at least once before it was too late.

When I got onto the main highway, Savanna reached over and grabbed my hand. I squeezed it tight inside of mine. I had no idea what was going to happen with my father and she had never met my mother. As much as I wanted them to meet, I hated that it was under this circumstance. Savanna being here was like a godsend. No matter how long it would take my father to recover, I was so glad that she was here with me. It was funny how months ago I didn’t even know someone could ever have this effect on me, but now, I felt like I needed her.

My heart started pounding as we made it into the parking lot at the hospital. If I was too late to say goodbye to my father, I didn’t know if I could forgive myself.

Savanna took my hand while Miranda stayed back and waited for Ty. He knew I was in a hurry and couldn’t waste time waiting for him. We made it to the third floor and saw my aunt standing outside of the room. Over the loud speaker we heard Code Blue and I just got this horrible feelin’ it was for my father. Savanna kept up the pace as we made our way to the door of his hospital room. My mother was backed into the corner with her hand over her mouth. The doctors and nurses were working on my father. I heard one of them yell “Clear” and saw them using the crash cart. My father’s body took one hard jolt and the monitor started beeping again. I could hear the medical staff calling off his stats. My body bent over and I held onto my knees. I could feel Savanna rubbing my back, and I appreciated her support more than she knew.

We waited at least an hour before the medical staff left the room, after running numerous tests. Unfortunately, the doctor pulled my mother out with him and asked us if we could all come and meet with him privately. He sat us down in a more private waiting room, probably designed for this such situation. I sat next to my mother and held her hand. She was still crying and held a handful of tissues in her opposite hand.

“Your husband has suffered a severe stroke from the stress of the injuries he sustained in his accident, and the surgery that was performed to stop the internal bleeding. As of right now he is showing signs of damage to his brain. In most cases patients suffering from this kind of trauma do not wake back up.”

My mother started wailing. That is how I would have to describe it. I held onto her body as she rocked back and forth. I didn’t have time to express my own feelings when she was there, suffering from the greatest loss of her life. My father probably wouldn’t wake up. She could never hear his voice again. He would never kiss her goodbye, or sit with her at dinner. They wouldn’t go to local events or share dreams of when they were older and took care of their grandchildren. He would never see his grandchildren. My children.

The doctor walked out of the room and left us to deal with the aftermath of his bad news. My aunt crouched down in front of my mother and held her the best she could as she cried. I put my elbows on my knees and covered my face with my hands. Savanna’s hand rubbed my back, but I never acknowledged her presence behind me. I couldn’t look at anyone. My eyes burned with the tears I was fighting back.

After a few minutes I noticed Savanna wasn’t behind me. I got up and looked around the room, but it was only my mother and my aunt here with me. Savanna, Ty and Miranda must have left. I was sure that they didn’t go far, probably just far enough to give us some space.

I was standin’ in the doorway, unable to walk out of that room. I couldn’t leave my mother, not now, not like this. I turned around again and looked at my mother. Her face was covered, but her sobs were just getting louder. I swear that being in the room hearing her cry was just as bad as hearin’ the news about my father.

We ended up spending the night at the hospital. At some point Savanna came in and got my keys. She needed to take Ty and my very pregnant cousin Miranda back to the ranch. Savanna tried to get me to come home to rest, but I refused to leave my mother. We were devastated. This is where I had to be.

The next two days were the same. My mother stayed by my father’s side. The nurses even found a place within the hospital where she could shower and remain close in case something were to happen. Savanna came in the mornings and stayed with me until visiting hours were over. My mother slept in the chair in my father’s room, while I stayed in the small waiting room where we got the news.

I should have gone home, but just imagining her being here alone was unbearable.

Savanna and I barely spoke. I knew that if I talked about my father and all of the things I worried I wouldn’t get to tell him, that it would just make me get upset. She never pushed me to talk about him. The more time went by, the less I said to her. She sat around playing on her phone or listening to her IPOD, while I sat with my mother and my father. It was hard for me to open up, but it must have looked to Savanna like I was pushing her away. It wasn’t on purpose. I had never experienced this type of situation and I had no idea how to deal with it, or how to let her into my house of emotions.

My father died on the morning of the third day. I had still been asleep in the chair in the other room while my mother was sleeping in my father’s room. The loud beeping woke me with the Code Blue warning and a feelin’ in my gut told me that I needed to get to that room. I jumped up and ran in. I don’t remember looking at my mother, but as I watched the medical team doing everything they could, I noticed her hand was in mine.

Everyone has heard the sound of a flatline on movies and television shows, but to hear it live, while all you have left is hope, well it is the worst sound you will ever hear in your life. That sound filled the room, and while my mother cried out, and the doctors and nurses did everything they could, it was all I could hear. My eyes burned, but I refused to blink. They were fixed on my father’s lifeless body, just hoping that the sound would stop being a constant and turn back to the reoccurring beep. It didn’t happen. While my mother and I stood there in the corner of that dark room, we heard the doctor calling the time of death. I cradled my distraught mother into my arms while the room started to clear out, leaving us alone in there to say our final goodbyes.