Letting Go (Mitchell Family #1)(67)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“I know what you are doing Son.”

“What do you mean Mom?”

“You are shutting down, probably even pushing her away. Please don’t do that to yourself Colt. You are a good man.”

“This isn’t how life was supposed to be. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“God has a plan for everyone. Your father lived a happy life Colt. I don’t regret a single moment with him.” She explained.

I felt myself getting choked up. I wasn’t ready to discuss this.

“You have to talk about it.” She reiterated.

“I can’t.”

“Colt, I love your father. I will love him until I breathe my last breath, but he wouldn’t want us to waste our future away. He would want us to continue to live. He worked hard to give us the life we have.”

I felt her hand touch my knee. Thankfully, I had reached the ranch. I pulled in front of the house and turned off the car. “I fought him on everything. I can’t take it back.”

“Come inside with me Colt. I want to give you something.” She said as she climbed out of the car.

I walked into the house and watched my mother run up the stairs. She came down just minutes later with a box in her hands. It was a shoe box that had been decorated in Star Wars stickers. I remembered the box from when I was a small child. “He kept this. I think you should take it. He would want you to know he had this stuff.”

I grabbed the box, not really understanding what it contained. It was cool my dad saved the box, but it made me feel worse inside.

“Thanks. I will look at it when I get home.”

“Colt. Do you love this girl? If she left and never came back how would it make you feel?” My mother placed her hand on my chest. “I am asking you this because I don’t want you to give up on something that is so important to you. I can tell she loves you. Don’t let her be the one that got away. You will regret it forever.”

I leaned over and kissed my mother on the cheek. “I will see you later Mom.”

I headed out of the house with the shoebox in my hand. The drive to the cabin seemed like it took forever. When I got there I noticed I was all alone. I called out and got no answer. Sam was clawing at the back door, so I let her in and headed up to my room. I tossed the box on the bed and sat down beside it. My hand traced the outside as I reminisced on applying the stickers to the box. Back then it was supposed to hold my most special treasures. Of course that meant it had been filled with baseball cards and matchbox cars.

I flipped the lid and found that it was full of a bunch of things. A pair of shoes from when I was a baby sat on top. I gently took them out, inspecting how small they were, before setting them to the side. The next item I pulled out was a Ziploc bag full of all of my baby teeth. I had to laugh remembering how my parents would prepare me for the tooth fairy’s visit. Underneath the bag sat my father’s Willie Mays rookie card. It was in a plastic sleeve that kept it from being damaged. He always told me it would be mine one day. I turned the card over and looked at the stats. The box had a few of my most favorite matchbox cars, some Star Wars figurines and a giant stack of pictures. I picked up the stack and started looking through them.

They seemed to be in sequential order. The first picture was my parents holding me as a newborn. Next were me taking my first steps, followed by my first couple birthday parties. Whenever I was unsure when a picture was taken, I looked to the back of the picture where my mother always labeled them. I came across one of me and my dad playing catch with a football, and another where we were wrestling around in the dirt. There were a bunch of Christmas pictures and even more pictures of me going hunting with my father. One of them I was missing my two front teeth.

The last few pictures were when I was older. Some junior high photos and pictures of games from high school finished off the stack. The very last picture was my college graduation. Under that last picture was a small card the same size as the photos. I hesitated before I lifted it open to read it.

Colt

Your mother is making me write you this letter. She thinks there are some things that we never got to talk about.

Today was your graduation from college. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but I want you to know that I am so proud of you. I’ve been hard on you because I wanted you to be strong and independent. I didn’t want you to ever have to depend on anyone. You may think that I am disappointed in you, but you are wrong.

I kept everything in this box because they were some of my favorite times with you. Do you remember all of our hunting trips? Remember getting stuck in that storm and coming home freezing and soaked. Your mother wanted to ring my neck for getting you so sick.

I still remember the day I took you to buy your first shotgun. The look on your face was priceless.

When you became a teenager, things got even harder for you. You wanted to do your own things, but it was important for me to lay down the law. I couldn’t have any son of mine making foolish mistakes that could ruin his future. You had every girl in town offering herself to you. I wasn’t ready to be a grandfather. I hope you get that now. You hated me for a while, but your mother and I always felt like the more you hated us, the better parents we were being.

Son, I am writing you this because I think we need to clear the air. If you want to leave and live your life in the city, I won’t fight you. I want you to be happy. The ranch will still be here if you ever want it.

I struggled for us to have the life we have now. I don’t want you to forget where you came from.

When you find a woman, love her like she is the only woman on this planet. Treat her right and she will never leave your side. Don’t ever take her for granted. Be the man that we taught you to be.

Love,

One Proud Dad

I read the letter at least ten times. I knew why he never gave it to me. After my graduation dinner, I announced that I wanted to build my cabin on their property and be in the family business. My father got his dream. He probably told my mother to throw this stuff away and she just never had.

I left everything on the bed while I paced around my room. I was filled with anger and pain. I wanted to run, to disappear. I couldn’t deal with any of this. I felt like everything was closing in on me. I just wanted to wake up from the nightmare.

When an hour had passed and I still hadn’t heard from Savanna, I headed downstairs. Her car was still not outside. I needed to call her, to tell her I was sorry. I couldn’t let her slip away. Being without her wasn’t an option for me. I needed her more than ever. I called her phone at least ten times and got no answer. I called Ty’s phone with the same result. I left both of them messages and even tried Miranda, but none of them would call me back.