Lost to You (Take This Regret 0.5)(2)
Author: A.L. Jackson

“Where are you from, Elizabeth?” The words were abrupt, and I shifted in my seat, leaning farther across the small table with my elbows digging into the wood, edging her direction. Honey kissed every inch of her—her hair, her eyes, her skin—and I knew she couldn’t be from around here.

“Uh…San Diego,” she said almost absently, absorbed in the words she wrote, before she surprised me by stopping and looking up at me with a wistful smile. “I lived there my whole life. This is the first time I’ve been out of California. I still can’t believe I’m in New York City. It’s crazy.” With a small, contented shake of her head, she bit at her lip and picked up where she’d left off, the fluid sweep of her hand across the paper as she planned.

“This is the first time you’ve been out of California?” Incredulity dropped from my mouth. How was that even possible?

I’d traveled the world with my parents, forced to go on trip after boring trip. When I was young, I would get excited as I sat in a first-class seat on the plane, antsy to get into the air, to see new things—for my father to be there. But soon I realized it was always the same, me stuck alone in a huge hotel room, playing my old Nintendo Game Boy with a nanny I didn’t even know, while my parents went off to do whatever they did. Vague memories of my mother’s promises lingered in my mind, but they were always an excuse, a lame apology that next time she would take me sightseeing or to a theme park or some other cool place I wanted to go. By the time I was fifteen, whenever they went out of town, I refused to go with them.

“I guess that’s not normal for most people,” she said, “but my mom raised me and my sisters by herself, so there wasn’t a lot of money left for vacations.” She lifted her head and I could see her face. A gentle casualness framed her mouth, something that spoke of respect and grace.

My mother would have rather died than admit she lacked the money for something. But here was this girl who couldn’t be more than eighteen, laying it all out, setting her private world on display. And without an agenda.

A tiny laugh slipped through Elizabeth’s lips. “But we always had our beach.”

For a second, sadness clouded her features, an almost indiscernible twitch of her muscles.

“You miss it,” I blurted through a whisper. It wasn’t a question. I felt it as it suddenly saturated the air around us.

Shrugging, she began to doodle on the margin of her notepad. “That obvious, huh?” She grimaced a smile. “It just kinda hit me a couple of days ago. I’ve never been away from home, and here I am, all the way across the country with no friends or family. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I worked my entire life to get here, and I’m beyond thankful for it.” She wet her lips, swallowed, and averted her gaze as she hunched her shoulders. “I just really miss my mom.”

Something that resembled pain struck me deep in the chest. I was so far out of my element, a million miles from what I knew. What I knew were girls who wanted the exact thing I wanted, ones who climbed in my bed without a second thought. Our intentions were never dishonest, and that was where it always ended. I never pretended I would give them any more. And they never pretended they wanted it.

But right then, the only thing I knew was I really wanted to hug this girl.

I didn’t even know her, though it didn’t take a lot for me to realize I wanted to.

“Hey,” I said as I leaned in low to capture her gaze, sliding my palm across the table to rest next to her notebook. My fingers twitched, and I resisted the urge to take her hand that lay an inch away. “You’re not alone.” I raised a brow, lightening my tone in hope of lightening her mood. “Just think of all the time you’re going to have to spend studying with me.”

Her head was still bowed when she laughed and looked up at me from under the hedge of hair that had fallen like a veil to the side of her face, though the sadness that had temporarily hazed her expression was gone. She smiled, and it was as if I could see everything inside of her, as if in that moment I knew her better than I’d ever known anyone, even though I really didn’t know her at all. Elizabeth was strong and driven, incredibly intelligent, but what was most apparent was she was genuinely kind.

She emitted a slight snort and raised her own brow. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, Christian.”

It was all tease and truth, playful words loaded with innuendo that confirmed she’d already made assumptions about me.

“How about you?” she asked. “You’re from here?”

“Nah, I’m from Virginia.”

“Virginia.” She seemed to ponder it as if it were some foreign, exotic place. “So what brought you to New York?”

I laughed low, but it lacked any humor. “I’ve known I would be going to Columbia since I was a little boy.”

There was never any choice. Anything less and all my father’s careful grooming, priming me for the future he’d picked out for me, would have all been in vain.

She frowned, reaching out to wrap her slender fingers around her coffee mug, sipped at it as she waited for me to continue.

I answered her as simply as I could. “My dad went here.”

“Ah.” She nodded as if she understood what I meant, as if she recognized she’d hit a nerve. She looked like she was tempted to ask me more.

I quickly changed the subject because my parents were the last thing I wanted to talk about. “So what about you? Why New York?”

She got that wistful smile again, her eyes soft and her words softer. “It’s kind of embarrassing, but have you ever had a place that just became a fairy tale to you?”

I blinked, not really understanding, but wishing I could. I offered a little shrug. “No. Not really.”

Definitely not.

She reddened again, dipping her chin in the way she did every time she seemed to get self-conscious. “New York has always been like that for me, from the time I was a little girl. I always thought it had to be the most amazing place in the world. Then when I decided I wanted to be an attorney, I knew it had to be Columbia.”

“Wait…what? You’re pre-law?”

She nodded.

Could she be any more perfect for me?

And where the hell did that thought come from?

“Me too,” I said.

She sat up, both of us more excited than we probably needed to be. “Really?”

“Yeah…you know, my dad’s headed a firm for years. Real estate. I’m going to take over for him when he retires.”