Love’s Suicide(12)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Then, I went back into the Branch’s room and pulled the letter to me out of the pocket of my dress. I crept back in Brooks’ room and stuck it under his pillow. When or if he came home to visit, he’d know that I’d seen it.

I knew I couldn’t respond, but needed him to know that I’d found it.

In my heart I knew that if I’d found that note when he’d wrote it, things may have been different. I wouldn’t have been so vested in my relationship and future with Branch and we could have tried to sort out whatever feelings we had for each other.

The damage was done.

I was marrying his brother, because we loved each other and it was the right thing to do. We’d been together for years and no old love letter could change that. Brooks had made his choice. He could have fought for me, but he didn’t. Him giving up on us was the reason I knew I was making the right choice.

Chapter 6

May 2010

I’d been engaged for a little over five months, and in that time, I’d been planning the perfect wedding for Branch and me. He did his best to help me, but as far as details went, he couldn’t care less as long as I was happy.

Danica helped me most of the time, since I was as close to a real daughter as she’d ever get. I remember when I drove over to spend the weekend at her house and go dress shopping. My friend Melissa from school had come with me. She was familiar with the surrounding areas of D.C. and had grown up close to there herself. I’d met her through my job near the college, and after working together for almost three years we’d become pretty close.

She was thrilled to have been asked to be in the wedding and I was glad I had her in my life to ask. Of course, Brooks was going to be the best man and knowing that made me feel uneasy. I’d had several dreams where the pastor asked if anyone objected and he did every time.

Since I’d only received a few messages since Christmas, I was concerned how it would be once we finally got to see him again.

Of course time had passed and with that I was able to build a stronger relationship with Branch. My letters to Brooks were nothing but hellos and it made me feel like eventually we’d be able to be around each other without weird feelings.

Dress shopping was exhausting, and after trying on practically the entire store, I ended up getting the second one. We stopped in town for nice dinner and chatted amongst ourselves until the sun went down.

It was nice spending time with Danica without any of the men around. I looked forward to doing it more, especially when school was over and we could buy a place of our own. They’d want us to live close once our children were born, so they wouldn’t miss out on seeing them.

After our long day, we had a few more glasses of wine, and I got Melissa situated in my old room. While making my way to Branch’s, I happened to stop in to Brooks’. I don’t know what made me do it, but I lifted up the pillow and noticed the note was gone. I was overwhelmed with panic and guilt imagining that one of his parents had discovered it and knew our secret.

I searched his room and couldn’t find it, but refused to make a scene over it.

That next morning I think Danica knew something was up with me. It was a good thing we had to get back early for a shift, because I had no idea how much longer I could pretend that I wasn’t freaking out.

The first thing I did when I got home was sit down and write Brooks a letter. I needed to warn him that someone else knew about us being together. If Branch found out, he’d kill him.

It was hard to explain how I was the one who’d moved the letter and it was all my fault that his private thoughts were exposed.

Dear Brooks,

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and maybe I should have told you a long time ago, but I found your letter in the tree house. Before I make you hate me, I want you to know that your words touched my heart. I don’t hate you for being there for me. I was mad, but I didn’t hate you.

Look, I took the note to your room and put it under your pillow so you’d find it when you visited. I didn’t know someone else would go in there.

Now it’s missing and I’m freaking out. Someone knows your secret; our secret.

Please don’t hate me, Brooks.

Love, Kat

PS: Please come home for the wedding. Whatever happens we can explain that it was all in the past. We’re a family and we’ll work through it.

For the next couple of weeks I was a nervous wreck, trying to stay focused on finals and worry about everything else, including the ticking time bomb that could occur at any time. What made it worse was that Danica had a number to reach Brooks, but I was too afraid, at that point, to ask for it.

The hardest thing for me was knowing that all of this could blow up in my face and I hadn’t done anything except for kiss him goodbye, which I was pretty sure Branch would forgive me for. All of the sneaking in my room was something I never knew that happened, so it wouldn’t have been fair to hold me accountable for it.

Okay, I knew that wasn’t true. I had feelings for Brooks that had never gone away, but there are no rules for who you love. I felt the same way for his brother, whom I was marrying.

Although, a part of me was still very upset with Branch and the way he’d wedged himself into a relationship with me, knowing how his brother felt. It didn’t seem fair and I felt sorry for Brooks.

Except now, Branch and I had history. We’d been together for years and had a life that we’d planned together. No matter what my feelings about Brooks were, they couldn’t take away everything Branch and I had built.

I received a letter back from him sixteen days after I sent mine.

Dear Kat,

I can see how you’re freaking out right now. You don’t need to be. The person that found the letter isn’t going to say anything, I can assure you of that.

Maybe if you weren’t always going into my room when you visited, they wouldn’t have went looking.

Anyway, it doesn’t even matter now. All is good and you can calm down.

As far as me coming for the wedding, that may be a problem. I’m being deployed in January to Afghanistan and I’ve signed on to stay for two years.

By the time you get this letter Mom and Dad will already know and I will have made them promise to let me call Branch to tell him the bad news.

I’m really sorry I can’t be there to see you walk down the aisle. I know you’ll be the most beautiful woman that this world has ever seen.

Take care of my brother and yourself.

Love, Brooks

I sat there crying, and I wasn’t sure if it was because I was in the clear, or that he wouldn’t be coming to the wedding. I missed him and the friendship that we used to have. Melissa was a great friend, but she’d never be the friend Brooks was to me. It was a bond that had grown since we were infants and it was irreplaceable.