Love’s Suicide(18)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I said while trying to keep my emotions under control.

I hated myself for feeling the way I was. The only person I was hurting was myself. He needed to be with Melissa, so that I could have closure. It would be the best for everyone involved. She was a nice girl, and with her strawberry blonde hair and pretty blue eyes, she was always getting compliments. I knew he had to find her attractive.

She turned to face me. “How do I look?”

“Hot,” I finally said while smiling. It wasn’t a lie. She looked stunning.

She adjusted her cle**age and took another look in the mirror. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

I held the door open for her, thinking of how to respond. It didn’t matter anyway, because Branch was up in the face of another bar patron. Brooks had jumped up and pushed him away from the guy with ease, but he was still going off at the mouth, yelling profanities across the bar.

“Alright, bro. It’s time for you to call it a night, man.”

I walked up to him and grabbed his hand. He was so drunk that he fell on top of me. His weight was too much, and luckily Brooks grabbed the other side of him. I turned to Melissa. “I’ll see you back at the room?”

She smiled and pointed to Brooks’ back. “Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

I cringed when I turned around, but only focused on getting Branch to the elevator. When we got inside, he started singing at the top of his lungs. “Going to the chapel and I’m gonna get married.”

I couldn’t look at Brooks as we basically dragged his brother to his room. After reaching inside of his back pocket, I found his room key and opened the door. Brooks carried him in and tossed him on the bed. “Don’t leave me baby. Give me some love before you go.”

I swatted his hand away. “I can’t stay, Branch. It’s bad luck.”

He motioned for me to go. “Then get the f**k out. I knew I should have gotten strippers.”

I couldn’t believe he’d said something so hurtful to me, and Brooks didn’t seem too happy about it either. He slapped his brother upside his head. “Be respectful, you drunk piece of shit. That woman is going to be your wife tomorrow. Don’t talk to her like that.”

Branch rolled over on his back. He pulled his knees up and started laughing. “Listen to you, standing up for her still. Do you know how many times I’ve been inside of her? She’s never going to be yours now. I marked her.”

I felt another stab in my heart, while hearing him talk to Brooks about me that way.

Brooks pointed toward the door. “Go outside and wait for me.”

“But I-”

He pointed again. “Kat, go outside. Now!”

I looked back at Branch, who was watching me leave. “In twenty-four hours you’ll be my wife, Katy. Don’t forget it!”

Once outside of the room, I could hear Brooks yelling at him for disrespecting me. It wasn’t just because it was Brooks either. Had Walt heard his son talking to me like that, he would have killed him with his bare hands.

I sank down to the floor in the hall and tried not to listen to them. It was a terrible idea to think that everything was going to go smoothly, and if I wasn’t already feeling anxious about the wedding, Branch’s words were like a nail in the coffin.

What kind of man, who is supposedly in love with a woman, speaks to her that way on the night before they are wed?

By the time Brooks came out I was in tears. He held his hand out to help me up. “I’m really sorry about that. He didn’t mean it.”

We started walking toward his room. I pulled my hand away from his and crossed my arms over my chest. “People say the truth when they’re drunk.”

“Not all the time. His issues are with me.”

I stopped walking, causing him to stop as well. “Maybe I shouldn’t go through with it?”

His face changed before my eyes. I saw pain when I looked at him, and it was almost like I could feel it radiating through me. “Don’t say things like that.”

“No. I mean it. I’ve been having all these feelings and I can’t shake them.”

We started walking again until we came to his room number. “This is me.” He looked down at his key card. “Listen, get some sleep and things will be all better tomorrow. You can marry Branch and start your happy lives together.”

He started to open his door and the words blurted out of my mouth unexpectedly. “Do you still love me, Brooks?”

He leaned his head on the door and closed his eyes. I wanted him to look at me, but he wouldn’t turn around. “Don’t do this, Kat. You’ve been drinking and you’re upset at Branch.”

“It’s a yes or no answer.”

He finally turned around. “It changes nothing.”

My bottom lip started to quiver, and I could feel myself breaking down. I was standing in front of someone that I’d been in love with for as long as I could remember. Every time we’d touched, even when I didn’t know it was him, it was intense. We had this connection and it pulled me toward him, no matter how much I fought it.

I closed my eyes and let the next question come directly from my heart. “What if I don’t know how to stop loving you?”

Time stood still as I looked up into his baby-blues and peered into his soul. His eyes started to get glossy and he bit down on his lip, while pondering how to respond to me. I covered my mouth and started crying again. Brooks pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. “You have to.”

I cried harder. “I can’t.”

He pulled my face up with his hands. “You have to, Kat. You can’t do this now. Your future is already determined. The choice was made years ago. There’s no going back.”

I closed my eyes and thought back to when I knew he was leaving. He’d asked me for a good bye and I’d given it to him, with no regard for any consequences. “Fine. If it has to be that way, kiss me goodbye. Kiss me for all the years we’ve lost and all the ones we’ll never have together. Kiss me and make me forget that every moment without you in my life crushes me.”

“No!” He pushed me away like I was diseased. “Please don’t do this.” Brooks ran his hands through his hair and started pacing around the hallway. “We can’t go there.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I could taste the salt on my lips. When he finally stopped to look at me, I could see him considering. “Please, Brooks. I don’t care if it’s wrong. I need to feel it one last time. Just make this pain go away, because I’m suffocating in it.”