Love’s Suicide(27)
Author: Jennifer Foor

On the weekends we visited farmer’s markets, and I was able to purchase a new dining set, dishes¸ and even a whole silverware set. Then I purchased a mattress cover and new bedding from a local store and found a cheap shower curtain that changed the whole look of the eyesore that the bathroom used to be.

During the day, when I wasn’t working and the kids went to school, Sarah and I did chores around the farm and got to know each other.

I found out that she was an orphan too. The preacher and his baron wife had adopted her when she was five. She’d met her husband when they were both nineteen. They married and inherited the farm from his father, who passed about a year before. Sarah was one of those people that anyone would envy. She didn’t have a stressful life. Their small town values kept their family whole, and through prayer and worship they’d found their purpose in life. I don’t like admitting I was a charity case, but knew in some ways I was. She liked knowing that she could help.

It also made her feel like she had the right to push me to move on. She’d invited their friend Bobby over for dinner, and from the way he smelled, I could tell he wasn’t just there to have a few beers with his buddy. I recognized him from the car repair shop, but this time he was cleaned up.

I supposed, if I wasn’t madly in love with someone else, I could see myself finding him attractive. He had dark wavy hair that curled a little in the front. His eyes were light greenish, maybe hazel and two dimples were placed perfectly on each cheek.

After two invites we’d become friends. The second night, which happened to be New Years Eve, he walked me out to my trailer. I think maybe he thought I was going to invite him in. “Thanks for walking me.”

The sound of a shot gun made me scream. I fell into his chest and covered my face, fearing that we were being fired at. Bobby held me there, laughing the whole time. When I looked up at him, his face got serious. “Happy New Year, woman. Ain’t you ever heard a gun before?”

I pulled away, feeling like a complete idiot. “I guess I didn’t expect that.”

He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I got that it was a casual gesture to celebrate the new year, but I hadn’t expected it.

He waited for more, in which I didn’t even move. “You know I can fix your car. It’s been slow and I need somethin’ to do. I know money’s tough. We can just do an I.O.U.”

“You’re kidding right? Are there some kind of strings attached to this offer?” We were standing in the pitch black. If he wanted to take me on the side of the trailer, nobody would hear my screams.

“Sarah’s told me about your troubles.”

I shook my head, feeling completely embarrassed. “I’m not a terrible person. There’s a logical explanation for why I had to leave.”

He laughed and looked down at his feet. “Katy, you’re a nice girl. I don’t expect anything from you in return. Any friend of Sarah’s is a friend of mine.”

I reached out my hand, offering a thank you in a professional manner. He shook it and smiled. “Thank you, Bobby. I will pay you back, I promise.”

He tipped his hat and watched me walking up the two steps to my front door. “Have a good night, Katy.”

When I walked inside I felt happy, like things were turning up for me. I was making friends and feeling comfortable with everything that was happening in my life. Sure, I could have been in my last semester of college, getting my degree, but that would have required me to face the Valentines. I wasn’t ready for it and I didn’t know if I ever would be.

The next month brought many gifts, like Bobby fixing my car, getting promoted to night shift manager at the restaurant and even being asked to assist with Sunday school at the local church. I’d never been one to be involved, but was raised Christian. In the few short weeks I’d been living in South Carolina, I’d attended church weekly. Sarah was the reason and she was happy to have someone to sit with during service, since her daddy was the preacher and her mother played the organ.

By February we had a standing night of cards, where Bobby and I would go over to Sarah and Dave’s. We played a game called pinochle. It was hard to get used to, but after the first couple of times, I felt like I was an expert.

Aside from my new friends, I’d met plenty of people from the restaurant and church. It was nice to drive into the town, in my newly repaired car, and have people greeting me by name. I’d never lived in a place so small, and appreciated the importance of it.

Halfway through that month, I came down with a stomach bug. It was weird because nobody around me was sick. I couldn’t keep anything down and felt exhausted.

A week passed and then another. On March first, after still not getting any better, Sarah and I both knew something was wrong with me. I didn’t want to spend the money, but she took me to the hospital anyway.

They drew blood and did a full work-up to see why I couldn’t keep anything down. I’d also discovered that I’d lost fifteen pounds in two short months. My reflection was almost hard to recognize and I was ashamed that I’d let myself get into such poor health.

With Sarah sitting next to me, the doctor came back into the room nearly an hour later. “Do you want the good news or the bad?”

“Both?” All I needed to hear was that I was dying. My pathetic existence was ending because I’d eaten a bad batch of tuna or something ridiculous like that.

“The bad news is that you’re probably not going to get better for a while.”

“What’s wrong with her? Is it treatable?” Sarah was as concerned as I was.

“Your friend here is pregnant. She’s sufferin’ from a bad case of first trimester sickness. It happens from time to time. There’s a couple things she can eat and drink that can help alleviate it.”

“Whoa!” I sat up and looked right at him. “Did you just say I’m pregnant?”

He smiled. “I’ve been doin’ this for thirty-seven years. I think I know what I’m talkin’ about.”

I put my hands over my face, unable to speak. “How far along am I? Can you tell?”

“I’ll have to schedule you for a sonogram before we can diagnose something like that. Do you know when your last menstrual cycle was?”

I tried to think back to when I’d had my last period. I knew it was a couple weeks before my wedding date, because Branch was trying to get some until he found out I was bleeding. Then we got busy with the wedding. “December fourth, maybe. It was somewhere around that time.”