Love’s Suicide(49)
Author: Jennifer Foor

She looked at me. “Say what?”

“He’s alive. He was reassigned. That’s why I never heard from him. He came here to be with me and found out I was married.”

Sarah put her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God. Is that where you went today? Did you go and see him?”

I nodded and cried harder “Yes. I’m sorry for lying to you. I couldn’t risk Bobby finding out.”

Sarah put her hands on her hips. “What are you going to do, Katy? Are you going to leave Bobby and rip that little girl right out from under him?”

I don’t know why I was angry at Sarah’s question. She’s seen what Bobby and I had gone through. She of all people knew how much he loved B. Brooks was a stranger who seemed to be a threat. “No. Even if that’s what I wanted, Brooks doesn’t. He said he can’t even look at me.”

I couldn’t talk because I was freaking out.

Sarah wrapped her arms around me. “You didn’t tell him about B did you?”

I pulled away and couldn’t answer her. The truth was written all over my face. Her mouth dropped and she gasped. “Tell me you didn’t, Katy.”

“I had to. He deserved to know.”

Sarah was angry with me. She wasn’t hiding it either. “So now you’re goin’ to go home and tell Bobby, aren’t you?”

I threw up my arms. “I don’t have choice. I know Brooks and he’s not going to ignore the fact that she’s his. He deserves to know her. I am the one that kept the truth from him.”

“Katy, I don’t think you’re realizing the impact that this has on all of us. What are you going to do if he wants to take her from you? Have you even considered that he has a right to do that? He’s listed as her father on that birth certificate, so you need to be prepared for what comes next. I’ve seen mothers lose their children. You won’t be able to handle it, not after everything you’ve done for that child on your own.”

I shook my head. “He wouldn’t do that to me. You don’t know him. Brooks would never hurt me. He’s not capable of it. No matter how mad he is, he’s always protected me.”

She shook her head. “You’re living in a dream world. You aren’t children. People change.”

The idea of Brooks hurting me worse was horrifying. I couldn’t fathom something like that happening. For the second time in one day I’d been accused of acting like I was an adolescent. “He’s been my best friend since I was born. I think I know him a little better than you.”

Sarah wasn’t being my friend, no matter how hard I tried to convince her. “You should probably tell Bobby tonight. Something like this can’t be ignored. You of all people should know what withholding the truth can do to someone.”

Her flippant comment stabbed me right in the heart. Apparently, I was the worst living person on the planet.

B smiled and giggled as I drove home, barely able to see the lines on the road. When I pulled into the driveway I saw that Bobby was home and he wasn’t alone.

Brooks’ truck, the one that had been parked outside of our house for all those days, was parked next to his. I could barely open the car door fast enough to start vomiting. To say that I was under the most pressure of my life would have been an understatement.

I finally managed to get B out of her car seat and she went running toward the door. I frantically chased after her, knowing that Bobby wasn’t going to be okay with whatever was going on. As much as Brooks had every right to know his daughter, I needed time to explain it to Bobby to make him understand that I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t keep the truth any longer and now that he knew, we were going to have to let him get to know her.

I opened the door and she went running in, finding both men sitting at the kitchen table across from one another.

One look at Bobby and I knew he was falling apart inside. He also knew that I’d most likely lied to him about being sick and that finding out Brooks was alive had changed everything.

I didn’t know what to say as I looked from one man to the other.

Bobby finally spoke. “Brooks was here when I pulled up. He told me about your visit today and I thought it seemed right that we all get everything out in the open.”

I looked over at Brooks, who had both eyes on the mirror image of him that was standing across the room acting shy. I’d never seen him so emotional, but he looked over at Bobby and asked, “Is it okay if I say hello?”

The excruciating reality of what I’d done to him was utterly horrifying. Bobby nodded, with eyes glossed over. “She’s your daughter, too.”

The moment Brooks got on his knees and waved to her, Bobby lost it. He got up with his face covered and walked into the other room. I knew he wanted to be alone, to cry in private. I should have run after him and pleaded with everything I had in me for him to forgive me. He didn’t deserve to be hurt in all of this.

All I could do was stand there, watching my daughter, my precious little miracle, meeting her father and my soul mate for the first time.

B was reluctant at first, but after a few seconds she walked right up to him and touched his face. I continued standing there mesmerized with their instant connection, as if she knew he was someone important to her.

Then Brooks began to sob. He pulled our daughter into his arms and squeezed her tight against his body. I could see his chin shaking and could only imagine how left out he felt.

I got down on my knees beside him and reached for him, but he wouldn’t look at me. He was too focused on her and I was okay with that. I kept my hand on his shoulder as I spoke. “I know you’ll never forgive me, Brooks. I never meant to hurt you, I swear.”

He turned with her still resting her head on his chest. “How could you keep her from me? Why, Kat?”

I had to leave the room.

Already feeling worthless, I found Bobby sitting on the end of our bed. He was staring at the wall, unable to look up when I entered. I sat down next to him and reached for his hand.

He pulled away. “Don’t, Katy.”

I cried more, not because I wanted sympathy, but because I felt wretched for what I done to both of these men out of my own selfishness. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he’d come here.”

He peered over at me. “You didn’t know? You practically invited him here, Katy. My God, how could you go behind my back and do somethin’ like this?”

“I thought he was dead. You know how much that hurt me. I didn’t go there to be with him. I went there to see it for myself. The truth came out and I’m sorry if it hurt you, but if you were in his shoes wouldn’t you want to know? He deserves to be a part of that child’s life.”