Love’s Suicide(50)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Bobby was angry and if I hadn’t known Brooks was only a few rooms over, I would have feared for my safety. I could see the pain mixed with anger in his eyes and that was a potion for disaster. “I’m your husband and you went behind my back again. Do you know how it made me feel to see him walkin’ up those steps? For all I knew, he was dead. How long have you known?”

I put my head down. “I got a letter yesterday that had gotten lost from February. It said he was being moved to Fort Jackson. During the parade on the fourth, I thought I saw him. You have to understand, I just needed to know for sure. I had to see him in the flesh.”

“Did you f**k him while you were there, or was he too smart to fall into your slutty two-timing ideas?”

I don’t know whether I deserved sympathy, but I certainly didn’t deserve to be called names. I didn’t go to see Brooks to jump into bed with him. I definitely hadn’t gone there to ruin my husband’s life. “Don’t say that.”

Bobby started to cry. “Darlin’, I’m sorry. That man in there may not have deserved to have the truth held from him, but at least he didn’t have to live in fear that one day she’d be ripped out of his arms.”

I fell on the bed, unable to respond. It felt like the air had left the room and I couldn’t catch my breath.

I’d ruined everyone’s lives, including my own and couldn’t come up with anything to say to make things better. All I could do was sit back and watch one man fall in love with a child he never knew he had, while the other sat there watching her bond with the one person in the world that could take her away from him.

Chapter 29

Two hours went by and not much had changed. Bobby had left me in the bedroom for a while, to sulk in my own pitiful existence. Time wasn’t making things better for me.

When I heard the door shut loudly, I rushed out thinking Brooks had left. Instead I saw him on the floor with B. His brows creased when he spotted me, and then just as quick he went back giving our daughter his attention.

I knew I had to reach out to Bobby. He needed to know that I wasn’t going anywhere, not that Brooks wanted me anyway. Seeing him in so much pain had only made it easier to know that I could never take B away from him. Like it or not, Bobby was her stepfather and she loved him. He’d done nothing but love her since before she was born. I owed him so much more than he was getting.

It took me a while, but I found him sitting outside. He was leaning forward with his head down. I squatted down in front of him and placed my hands on his legs. “Bobby, please talk to me.”

He looked up. “What do you want me to say?”

“Anything. Tell me you hate me. Tell me I’m the worst person in the world. Just don’t sit there saying nothing.”

He shook his head and rubbed both of his eyes. “Darlin’, I don’t know what to say. I’m mad and I suppose in some ways I don’t even have a right to be. That man in there deserved to know the truth. I never expected to come face to face with him. I sure as hell didn’t think he’d be respectful of our marriage, but that’s exactly how he is. The first thing he said to me was that he wasn’t here to cause us problems. He said he just wanted to meet his daughter. I could see it in his eyes that he was hurtin’. As much as it killed me, I knew I had to invite him in. Seein’ them together, though, it’s tearin’ me apart. B’s goin’ to grow up, and at some point she ain’t goin’ to want to be around me anymore, not when she’s already got a real dad.”

I watched my tough husband begin to bawl. “I just wish I could have prepared for this, Katy. I get why you didn’t say anything about the letters, but this is huge. Why would you do this to me? Haven’t I been good to you?”

I reached for his hand and he let me hold it. “You’ve done everything for me.”

“Then why would you promise me a future when you know it’s never goin’ to happen?”

My throat burned, hearing him implying that we were over. “Because I meant it. We can still be a family.”

Bobby smiled through his tears. “Baby, as much as I want to believe that, I know it ain’t true. You say one thing, but that heart of yours will never let him go.”

I let my head fall against his legs. “You’re wrong.”

He stood up, not even waiting for me to move. I fell down on the ground and watched as he limped toward his truck. “I’m goin’ to stay at my place tonight.”

I got up and ran toward him. “Bobby, please don’t go. Don’t walk away. I need you.”

I never, in my whole life pictured myself begging Bobby to stay with me, but there I was. Our bond had gotten stronger, and I wasn’t ready to lose him.

He sat down in the driver’s seat and looked forward when he spoke. “I’ll come by in the morning.”

I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, watching him close his pained eyes and accepting my support. “Bobby, I love you. I want you to know that.”

He smiled. “I just need some time to think, Katy. I promise I’ll be home in the mornin’. If your friend needs to stay, you make sure he stays on that couch. I can’t promise to keep my cool if I catch him touchin’ you.”

I shook my head, thinking he was insane for implying it. “He won’t be staying.”

Bobby pulled out, leaving me standing in the driveway. I turned to head inside and saw Brooks through the window. He was holding B in his arms and dancing around with her. In all honestly, since I’d never thought I’d ever see the day, a part of me melted. There hadn’t been one day that went by where I didn’t think about the two of them being together. I hated that while Bobby was being torn apart, Brooks was falling in love. It wasn’t fair and I didn’t know how to make things right.

Either way someone was going to get hurt.

There was no happy ending in our future that I could see.

When I headed inside, I made it a point to stay away from Brooks and B. I stood in my kitchen washing dishes, while tears poured down my cheeks. When I thought I’d run out of them, another bout would overwhelm me. I’d never felt so helpless in all of the times where I was lost.

It got quiet and I peeked into the living room to see him rocking back and forth with her falling asleep on his shoulder.

It was the most beautiful thing that I’d ever seen in my life.

My new tears were pain and joy mixed together. Brooks may have hated me, but he’d finally found his purpose in his daughter. No matter where he went or who he decided to give his heart to, I knew he’d love her forever. Knowing that I gave him that helped me feel a little better.