Love’s Suicide(60)
Author: Jennifer Foor

It was obvious that I’d also have to contact my lawyer and talk to him about the best way to proceed with my marriage, or ending it.

I was done trying to work things out with Bobby. He would never trust me with Brooks and I wasn’t willing to give him up, whether we stayed friends forever or became something more. He’d always be my daughter’s father and there was nothing that Bobby could do about it.

Since Brooks had to report to work the next morning, he took us to a hotel near the army base. He helped me get everything inside and found cartoons on the television for B. One thing that I liked was that it wasn’t a flea infested dump. It was a well-known chain of hotels that even had room service, so we didn’t have to leave our room, if we didn’t want to. It also had an indoor pool and a gym that I knew I wouldn’t be able to use with B in tow.

Brooks and B sat on the opposite side talking about a cartoon, while I went into the bathroom to wash my face. I looked like Hell and was more than embarrassed to have been around Brooks all afternoon without looking at myself once. I tried to fix my hair, but it was a rat’s nest. When I grabbed my brush and ran it through the back of my head, I hit a tender area and cringed. My fingers felt around and the wetness in a small area let me know that my head had been busted open.

“Brooks, can you come in here for a minute?”

He came in and saw me standing there holding my head. “What’s wrong?”

I looked right at him and reconsidered telling him, since I knew he’d go off the deep end over it. After realizing that I needed first aide and didn’t want to go to the hospital, I was out of other options. “Look at my head and tell me how bad it is.”

I felt his hands touching me and separating my hair. Under his breath, so our daughter couldn’t hear him, he asked, “Did he do this to you?”

I looked at him in the mirror and closed my eyes when I saw how concerned he was. “Yes.”

Brooks grabbed a washrag and wet the tip of it. He dabbed it at my head, to clean the wound and get a better look. “You’re goin’ to need at least one stitch. I can run on base and get a kit if you’d rather me do it here.”

I turned around and looked into his eyes. “I’m so sorry I got you into this.”

He tightened his face and shook his head. “Just stop with the apologies. We’ve both got shit that we wish we could take back. I don’t care what you’ve done. All I care about is giving our daughter a good life. Whether we’re together or not, we’re still a team. We’re always going to be a team, from now on. Do you understand?”

I leaned against the sink and smiled, knowing he wasn’t going to let me argue about it, not that I was even going to. “I hear you loud and clear.”

“Good. I’m going to run over to the base. I’ll be back in a half hour to get that head of yours cleaned up. Do you need me to pick up anything? How about milk for B? Will she need anything special?”

I walked out and found her lying on her stomach on the bed. Her feet were in the air and she was staring directly at the television. “Hey, sweetie. Do you want something to eat? Are you hungry?”

She was too preoccupied with her show. I turned to see Brooks standing near the door. “Can you find her a can of fruit or something like that at your commissary?”

He smiled. “Does she like bananas and apples? We’ve got plenty of them.”

“Yeah. She loves them.”

“I’ll get some milk and fruit and bring it back with me. Sit tight. I’ll be back soon.”

I ran toward the door and caught him in the hallway. “Brooks, wait!”

He turned around.

“Thanks for this.”

“I’ll be back. Take a nice bath and get that wound cleaned. I don’t want any bacteria in it when I stitch it up.”

I watched him walk over to the elevator. He looked so handsome in his fatigues, but aside from his appearance, I felt like I was completely safe. Being with Brooks was like medicine for the soul. B was a very lucky little girl to have a hero for her father.

When I went back into the room, I found her sound sleep. Her one hand was still propping up her face a bit, so I flipped her around on a pillow and covered her up, after removing her shoes and socks.

I turned on the water in the tub and let it fill up before I could climb in. When I started removing my clothes, I looked in the mirror to find more bruises from where I had been trying to fight my way free from Bobby’s hold. I stared at my naked body and felt disgusted with myself. Someone my age should still be beautiful with great skin, not hiding from her husband in a hotel with bruises all over her body.

I felt so ashamed and mad at myself for being naïve and marrying Bobby. Sure, there was a part of me that loved the Bobby that cherished me and my daughter, but I hated the one that had left these marks on my body. He frightened me in a place where I should have been able to feel the safest.

When I climbed into the hot water, and got myself situated, it was like I could feel every bone in my body aching. My head hurt and it wasn’t just back where the small gash was. Stress and frustration were getting the best of me and I knew for my daughter’s sake that I needed to get myself calmed down.

I put a warm rag over my face and closed my eyes. The cartoon channel was still on in the other room and I could hear the sound effects when something exciting would happen. It made me think about B’s smile and how happy she always was. Then it reminded me of the fear that I’d seen in her eyes just hours before.

My cries this time were out of guilt. I felt like a failure to myself and my child. I’d been stupid for thinking that Bobby had changed and even more idiotic for assuming that he’d be okay with me being around Brooks.

The water had started to get cold, but the tears kept coming. When I heard the door open, it startled me. First, I was on high alert from what had happened to me and secondly, my daughter was in the bed asleep. I sat up in the tub, covering my appendages with a rag and my hands. Brooks peeked in the doorway. “It’s just me.”

He didn’t move though. Instead, he stood there looking at me. “Do you mind?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I don’t mind at all. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Feeling embarrassed, I tossed the wet rag at him. “Go away, you perv!”

He laughed and walked away.

I climbed out of the tub and realized that my clothes were in the other room. After wrapping a towel around my body, I walked in to find him lying on the bed with B. He had his arm propped up and was watching her sleep. On the floor were a couple of bags, one with his name printed on it. “Did you rob the base?”