Murphy

“You did what you had to do, Murphy. There’s no shame in that,” she said, looking at him in the mirror.

“You’re not seeing me differently?” he asked.

Leaning forward she pressed her lips to his. “No, I don’t. This is your life, and I’m sharing it with you. You can share what you want with me. There’s no need for you to hide.”

Murphy wrapped his hand around the back of her neck. “Thank you.”

She watched him visibly relax as he started talking once again, opening up about his world. Tate could do this for him. He wasn’t alone in the world, and she’d stand beside him no matter what he did as a Skull.

There’s more to this than him putting the club first.

Tate didn’t even resent the fact the club was coming first. She was slowly accepting how important the club was, not that she’d tell anyone yet.

She listened as he talked about Killer getting the information out of the other man. The Skulls never gave anything away to their women.

“Do you trust Killer, Time, and Whizz?” she asked when he’d finished talking about everything that happened. She didn’t like the thought of a drug group in Fort Wills. Tiny would end it at the first opportunity.

“I know they’re hard guys to trust because of The Lions, but I vouched for them.”

“If they go wrong, Murphy, your ass is on the line for bringing them in.”

“They won’t,” he said.

Turning on the electric shears, she finished off his hair, removing a lot of hair as she did. All the time he looked at her, talking.

“Do you think we’re crazy for putting the drugs with The Lions?” he asked.

She smiled. “No, I don’t think it’s crazy. Putting them together is logical. You can’t dismiss the two.”

Tate finished cutting his hair. “All done.”

He caught her hand, bringing her down close. “Thank you.”

Watching him walk out of the bathroom, Tate quickly cleaned away the mess and took a long hard look at her reflection.

You can do this, Tate. You can do this.

She couldn’t live like Angel, accepting Lash’s life without knowing the details of what went on. Growing up with The Skulls, Tate knew a lot of shit went down that she wouldn’t want to know.

Murphy.

Her love for that man was far greater than her fear of knowing the truth. Turning off the light she found him sitting on the bed staring at the floor.

“I never touched a woman until they ordered me to f**k one,” he said.

Freezing by the door, Tate stared at him.

“I was in the club for a year. Jeff was high as a f**king kite. He didn’t know what he was doing. He threw a woman at me. She was drugged, but she wanted it. I told him no, and he pulled a gun on me.” Murphy turned to look at her. There was no emotion in his face. “When I took the mission for Tiny, I promised myself no other women. You’re my woman. Only Tate. I had no choice. A gun was pointed at my head, and I f**ked her.”

Tears filled her eyes as she imagined Murphy in such a position.

“When it was over, he ordered me to f**k another and then another. Afterwards, I scrubbed myself raw. I drew blood, but it wasn’t enough. I then went to a clinic and got tested. I got tested every month to make sure I was clean.”

Moving away from the door, she took a seat next to him on the bed. Grabbing his hand, she held him tightly, trying to offer him comfort.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” she said.

“I do have to talk about it.”

“Waiting for those results were the f**king worst moment of my life,” he said.

“What would you have done if you’d gotten something you couldn’t fix?” she asked. This was a whole other side to the past. She’d only ever thought about her feelings and what he’d done to hurt her. Never once had she considered what he was going through. Tate hated her selfishness.

Murphy chuckled. “I couldn’t come back to you broken. I decided if I caught something that couldn’t be fixed, I was going to get everything Tiny needed to put The Lions down for good, and then I was going to kill myself by taking a gun to my own head.”

Tate gasped, finding it hard to breath. “You were going to kill yourself?” she asked, not really believing his words.

“When I tell you they were the worst years of my life, I’m not kidding, Tate. I hated every f**king day. Jeff killed some of his own members to show how powerful he was. Being on the other end of his gun was the worst thing ever. Being forced to f**k women that were not you killed me inside. All the time I thought about you. Every time I got the all clear it was another lifeline.”

Sitting in his lap, Tate held him close. “It’s fine. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. We’ve got each other, and that’s all we need.” Closing her eyes, Tate allowed herself to feel the pain of losing him. No, she couldn’t have handled him going. Grabbing his face, she stared at him hard. “No matter what happens, Murphy, I will always love you. You’ll never be broken to me.” Tears were filling her eyes. “You can always come to me.”

He kissed her hard.

Murphy eased back on the bed with her in his arms.

“I’m not letting you go. I fought too hard to have you already,” he said.

“I’m here, Murphy, and I’ll be here when you wake up. I’m not going anywhere. Whatever you need, I’m here for you.” Her words were so true.

“There she is,” he said. Frowning, she stared into his eyes. “You can be a bitch all you want and I need that, but I see the woman I fell in love with.”

She’d not let anyone in for a long time. Murphy was seeing the real her, the woman she kept hidden from everyone else. Instead of pulling away, she kept staring at him, wanting to be open to him.

“You can’t disappear anymore,” he said.

“I don’t want to, Murphy.”

Settling down on top of him, Tate closed her eyes, holding him. He was warm, hard, and everything she wanted in a man.

Forgive him, and let the past go.

She already had.

Chapter Twelve

Murphy watched her sleeping, and seeing her peaceful sent joy running through him. Her hand rested across her name inked onto his abdomen. Running his fingers up and down her arm, he didn’t want to leave her. It was morning, and the club was already awake and alive with activity. Sleeping in her arms was the best night he’d ever spent.