Noah (The Mitchell/Healy Family #1)(70)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Bells cocked her brow and shoved me. “Men are so stupid.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I watched her walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of whiskey.

“Here. Drink this and you’ll be able to sleep tonight without thinkin’ about it.”

I shoved the bottle back into her hand. “No. I’m fine.”

“Yeah,” she said sarcastically. “You look fine.”

“She’s just a girl. It was pu**y. There’s plenty more where that came from.” I started to walk in the direction of my room, hoping that she’d shut up and leave it be.

“You keep tellin’ yourself that, but I know it’s not how you feel, Noah.”

A knock at the door made my stomach rattle. I rushed past my cousin to see if Shalan had somehow found her way back to me. That’s when I knew I was in bad shape.

My mother came in the kitchen. “Hey, Shalan forgot her sweater. I just found it tucked into the couch cushions. I thought she might need it in the morning in case it’s chilly.”

I grabbed the sweater and felt the fabric with my fingers. “She’s gone.”

“What? I thought she was staying until next week. We talked about her going to church with us in the morning and singing a song.”

I assumed she’d talked to my mother about church when they were cleaning up dinner. My cousin walked toward the kitchen door. “I’m just goin’ to go check on Gram and Lucy for a bit.”

My mother sat down and waited for me to do the same. “Noah, talk to me. I can tell something happened.”

This was probably where I should have told her everything was fine and it was my choice, but every single time I looked into my mom’s blue eyes I saw a woman that would give her own life for my happiness. She was my angel, and I couldn’t lie to her, especially about Shalan. “She’s gone.”

“Is this about the call she got when you were outside?”

“The call?” I shook my head. “She never mentioned it.”

My mom reached over and rubbed my arm. “Sweetie, I can tell you care a lot about her. Did you have a fight?”

I shrugged. “No. Not exactly. It was more like she had a revelation.”

“Noah, you can tell me anything. I’m not going to ever stop being your mother. You know that. We’ve been through enough for you to be able to trust that.” I had to stop looking into her eyes. She made me weak when I needed to be strong.

“I messed up with Perry. That’s where it all started. Things were alright between us. I mean, we were a good couple. When she went on that trip with her friends I went out and found her sister drunk. I tried to do the right thing by takin’ her home before she did somethin’ stupid. I meant well, I promise you I did.”

My mom covered her face with her hands. “Oh, Noah, tell me you didn’t sleep with her sister?”

I placed my palms up in the air. “It was a mistake, but it was one I couldn’t take back.” I looked away, knowing she was sitting in front of me judging the shit out of me. “I know you’re disappointed, because you didn’t raise me to be that kind of man.”

My mom had tears forming in her eyes. She nodded. “You’re right, you definitely know better, but-,” she paused for a minute. “We all make mistakes.”

“I tried to do the right thing with Perry after that. To spare her relationship with her sister, I ended things. I figured if I walked away then they could go on livin’ and bein’ sisters. I’d done enough harm.” I scratched my head and almost chuckled when I thought back to her sister walking in blabbing that night. “Her sister came in during our breakup. I was mid-sentence and she thought I was confessin’ about us. Then she proceeded to stand there and apologize for sleepin’ with me.”

“You’re kidding?” My mom kept her hands over her mouth.

“Nope.” I let out an air-filled laugh imagining my piss-poor luck. “How about that for Karma?”

“Noah, I’m sorry that happened the way it did, but I don’t understand how any of this has to do with Shalan.”

“The night I met her, after ruinin’ your anniversary party, I basically had to rescue her from a terrible situation. She’d caught her boyfriend that she lived with, and her best friend havin’ sex. Her opinion regardin’ cheatin’ was pretty clear, so as we got to know one another on our first trip to New York, I kept what I’d done from her. Then tonight, when we got back from dinner, Perry showed up and proceeded to let Shalan know that I’d slept with her sister, and that there was no end to who’d I’d cheat with. That was it. She packed her things and told me she never wanted to see me again. I don’t blame her, really I don’t. It just sucks, because I’m pretty sure she was the one. Before you say somethin’, I already know we couldn’t have ever worked out. Her life is out on the road, while mine is here. Even if I left, all my roads end up back here. I’m tired of fightin’ dad on that. It just sucks knowin’ she hates me. I would have been good to her.”

My mom sat there, I guess trying to figure out what to say to me. She rattled her nails on the tabletop. “I wish she knew you the way that I do. She’d know that one man’s mistake doesn’t represent who he’s going to become. We live and learn, Noah. I can see that you’re sorry for what you did, and it’s a shame that Shalan had to catch her boyfriend like that. I’ve been in her situation and know what that feels like. It takes a long time to get over that.”

“Like I said, it’s over with. She’s done, and I’m in no position to change her mind.”

My mother meant well, but talking about it was only making me more upset. I needed to be alone, so I could figure out the best way to get her out of my head. With the exception of her last trip we’d been talking every day, sometimes more than once. She’d become part of my normal routine, and it was going to be hard to get through the day without worrying about her, or wondering what she was doing. I was going to miss her sweet voice like crazy, and even the way she could say something so mundane and have me begging for more.

“Sometimes when you love something you have to let it go.”

“That’s a dumb sayin’ someone made up to make a person feel better.”

“No. It’s the truth. If Shalan didn’t care deeply for you, she wouldn’t have left so upset. She’s hurt and she needs time to heal. Just let her know that you’re not going anywhere.”